'I threw it past you, not at you'

[Shambambolista]

Sorry I guess this is a dv one but I think I could be overreacting.

H has been throwing things at me- not heavy things but I find it shocking and scary and I have ptsd and it triggers it.

This eve he was getting angry at me, and I saw he had a packet of baby wipes in his hand and I said- please don't throw that St me. I turned away to go up to the stairs back to my baby DD, and he threw them, not hard and they didn't hit me but again it shocked and scared me.

He said I threw them past you, not at you.

I went upstairs and sobbed in fear and anger.

Am I overreacting.

I am trying to leave by the way.

They missed me by about 10 cm I'd say and were thrown from about 2 meters if that makes any difference.

YANBU,

It's not ok to continue to do something that frightens your spouse when they've asked you not to

And there's no such thing as 'trying to leave' - you need to leave before your ptsd gets worse. You just go.

He shouldn't be throwing anything at you(near you) bit weird really for an adult to do that?
There must be alot of history to this as you say you are trying to leave him. Maybe you should leave sooner rather than later as it sounds like you have made up your mind about what to do.
He sounds like a bastard.

Sorry OP. no you are NBU. He needs to get a hold on himself. This is minimising at its finest - I hope you are okay.

YANBU. He is an abusive arse. You know that, clearly. Don't doubt yourself. Follow through with your plan to leave.

Why would he through something in your direction at all? He had no reason to throw anything (not like chucking a clean towel for kids up the stairs having asked DH to catch.) It can only be to scare you or exercise some weird control. Not loving behaviour. Not ok.

If if he did anything that frightened you it is domestic violence. Please leave.

I think I could be overreacting

You are definitely not over reacting. It sounds really scary. I'd leave asap.

No he intended to throw it at you. They landed past you, big difference. He is a disgusting cowardly bully. No way are you over reacting. He is minimising what he doing.
Glad you're trying to leave the brute. I'd call him a rat, but a rat wouldn't behave in such a manner.
. You're a brave and courageous

were thrown from about 2 meters if that makes any difference

It makes no difference

Happy people in healthy relationships don't do this. Not crockery, not sweary names, not a pack of babywipes.

You know what the score is, what are your plans?

Well I'm still shaking. Thanks for support it is so so welcome and I am so grateful. Got my running away money together. Got a rental to look at hopefully tomorrow. Spoken to a solicitor. Been in contact with the dv helpline. Upped my hours at work so a land lord will take me.

Good, it doesn't matter what it is, nobody needs to live with an arsehole like that.

It is the right thing isn't it. I'm so scared of it all.

Make sure he can't read your mumsnet OP or get his hands on your money. Good luck for tomorrow. I'm so sorry you're going through this bad so angry at that bullying nasty piece of shit.

Of course you are scared. Anyone living under constant threat would be scared, even without PTSD (although they'd probably have developed it by now.)

This is one of those 'scared of' things that are worth doing, because they improve your life instantly. Do you have friends & family around you for help & support?

It is absolutely the right thing. You can do it - it might be scary but the alternative will be so much worse.

You should never have to say 'please don't do that because it frightens me' more than once to someone who loves you. If they love you and care about your wellbeing, they will listen - if they're more concerned with their own amusement/need for control, they won't, and that tells you all you need to know.

Stay strong, for yourself and your DD!

You're an inspiration to other women and men enduring the same thing. You should be extremely proud of yourself. X

You're not overreacting :-(

You don't throw something at past at someone to be nice to them do you?

Good luck OP.

YANBU. there is obviously a lot that's happened previously to bring you to your decision to leave. I hope you do it

It's over, but you knew that. Nasty little ugh of a creature, you're well rid.

Well done on you - and so sorry you're going through this.

I'd assumed this was a mum asking if she had over punished a preteen/child for this shit.

Get out now please,if he does this to you in your vulnerable state how long until he starts on the kid(s).

OP

You are doing everything right. It's nice to read a post where someone is getting out while they still have the inner resources with which to do it - painfully frequently they are too ground down to know there even is any escape possible.

There is no excuse for an adult to throw things, in itself it's just childish. But in particular there is no justification for an adult to throw things in the direction of other people, and doing so when they have specifically asked you not to, and because you know it scares them, is the action of an arsehole. You are absolutely not overreacting, OP.

It is daft i know but me mum used to throw plates at my dad when she got in a temper, and tempers were what she did well!.

But this sounds very wrong indeed. Have you any idea why he is doing this must be a reason?, baby wipes well, but next time.

If your scared then just get the hell out please!.