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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

What is an extreme hairstyle for middle school

51 replies

carnage · 23/09/2015 17:55

Over the summer holidays my 11 year old daughter asked to have her hair cut short on one side and long on the other. If she wears it in a centre parting you can't tell it's been cut at all. It's not dyed and is around a No3 cut. The school has only just seen the cut despite it being the 3rd week of school.
After school the Head rang me and gave me a ten minute lecture on the school dress code, which fair enough says no extreme hair cuts like skinheads or mohicans.
I'm fuming as I view it as self expression and all part of growing up. I thought I would ask you lot to see if I'm totally out of step or is it the school.

I post a picture of the cut later

OP posts:
OneDay103 · 23/09/2015 18:02

Why can't she express herself during the holidays? There are rules, and you getting all ragy and fuming just encourages this flouting of it.

GloGirl · 23/09/2015 18:03

Yes I would say that is an extreme cut

verenti · 23/09/2015 18:04

I will have to wait to see the picture before I can tell.

LIZS · 23/09/2015 18:11

Yes it is. Surely you have seen the girl in Sheffield who has similar Hmm

DelphiniumBlue · 23/09/2015 18:11

It does sound from your description as if it is an extreme haircut. If it can be successfully hidden by having a centre parting, and your daughter wears it with a centre parting for school every day, then it wouldn't be an issue, but she has now shown it, and is in clear breach of the published school rules.
Realistically, what do you expect the school to do about rule breaking? They'd be failing in their responsibilities if they cwere not consistent about this- you can't expect them to ignore the breach of rules now they have been made aware.
No point in you being fuming as you must have already known about thecrule when you agreed to the haircut.
However, whether the rule should exist in the first place, is a different ( and academic) question.
Fwiw, I agree that self expression in terms of haircuts and clothes is a positive thing, and personally prefer schools to be non- uniform. But this is not about personal preference, it's about rules being applied consistently ( something I only began to appreciate once I started working in schools).

coffeeisnectar · 23/09/2015 18:13

I think that's an extreme hair style and not suitable for school, especially at that age.

You know the rules and you've broken them. The end.

SaucyJack · 23/09/2015 18:16

It's you who is out of step. It's a primary school- not the dance tent at Glastonbury.

Let kids be kids.

Stillunexpected · 23/09/2015 18:21

Phone the Daily Mail - quick. And start rehearsing your sad face.

OneDay103 · 23/09/2015 18:21

It's you who is out of step. It's a primary school- not the dance tent at Glastonbury

Grin
MyLittlePhony · 23/09/2015 18:27

Obviously not!

SweetTeaVodka · 23/09/2015 18:33

Do you mean like this soft of style, OP? Personally I love it (although probably wouldn't be brave enough to try it myself) and wouldn't see the issue with anyone wearing their hair like that, but then I also don't see the issue with mohicans/mohawks either. But I can see how if the school may see that as being 'extreme' if they feel that mohawks and shaved heads are also extreme.

What do they expect you to do though - shave the rest of her head to a grade 3 to even it up, or would they consider that 'extreme for a girl'? Perhaps it would be best to offer compromise to the school where she only wears her hair in a manner that hides the undercut (as persumably she was doing for the 3 weeks until they noticed it)?

What is an extreme hairstyle for middle school
gymboywalton · 23/09/2015 18:35

why would an 11 year old want her hair cut like phil oakey? i did but that was 1983

MyLittlePhony · 23/09/2015 18:37

A rule banning 'extreme' hairstyles is questionable. What constitutes EXTREME is a matter of personal opinion and open to interpretation unless you are very clear with respect to what constitutes an extreme haircut. If the rules identify a Mohican or skinhead as examples of what is considered extreme, a haircut such as this is nowhere near as extreme! Lots of ordinary people have this sort of hairstyle... it's fashionable.... if I'm picturing it correctly. Also, as long as it can be worn in such a way that it isn't even visible, then what's the big deal?

overthemill · 23/09/2015 18:38

It's extreme. At school you are meant to fit in with the rules. If you don't want to - and that's fair enough you don't have to - then take your child out of school and home educate her then it doesn't matter what she looks like. If the rules are clear then you should respect them and help to support your dd to do so too. She can look like whatever she wants in university or later in life.

MyLittlePhony · 23/09/2015 18:51

That's not really similar! That girl has dyed and patterned hair!

Georgethesecond · 23/09/2015 18:56

It's an extreme cut. She needs to have it not so short, or have it short but only once a year at the start of the summer holidays.

RhuBarbarella · 23/09/2015 19:02

I don't think that is an extreme cut but I'm the sort of person that doesn't agree with school uniforms at all either. So no, I don't agree with the school setting limits on what is considered appropriate hair styles.

carnage · 23/09/2015 19:36

Please bear in mind for the last 3 weeks NO-ONE at school has even noticed. That includes the PE lessons when they have to hair tied back.

What is an extreme hairstyle for middle school
OP posts:
carnage · 23/09/2015 20:01

and with her hair down

What is an extreme hairstyle for middle school
OP posts:
MaudGonneMad · 23/09/2015 20:04

It doesn't really matter whether no one noticed it for the last 3 weeks. They've noticed it now.

RhuBarbarella · 23/09/2015 20:04

That can not be called extreme, surely! She looks lovely and sweet.

Shutthatdoor · 23/09/2015 20:05

It's you who is out of step. It's a primary school- not the dance tent at Glastonbury.

Grin
LIZS · 23/09/2015 20:06

Presumably you agreed to it. Dc schools have required hair tied back anyway so it would be evident.

Shutthatdoor · 23/09/2015 20:07

I can see why they may have an issue with the first one.

My betting is that she hasn't been wearing it like the second picture and the school has seen it. it will all have to be cut shorter at some point anyway or else it will take forever to grow out