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AIBU?

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Original poster

What is an extreme hairstyle for middle school

51 replies

carnage · 23/09/2015 17:55

Over the summer holidays my 11 year old daughter asked to have her hair cut short on one side and long on the other. If she wears it in a centre parting you can't tell it's been cut at all. It's not dyed and is around a No3 cut. The school has only just seen the cut despite it being the 3rd week of school.
After school the Head rang me and gave me a ten minute lecture on the school dress code, which fair enough says no extreme hair cuts like skinheads or mohicans.
I'm fuming as I view it as self expression and all part of growing up. I thought I would ask you lot to see if I'm totally out of step or is it the school.

I post a picture of the cut later

OP posts:
goawayalready · 23/09/2015 20:07

sorry yanbu grade three is allowed for boys therefore it is implied its ok for girls too

and you cant even notice it

it will grow out in no time

offer to shave the rest off see how they react

OneDay103 · 23/09/2015 20:10

She looks very sweet but no way does that look like a good Hairstyle on an 11yo even without the school issue.
They probably have just seen it now. You have to stick to the rules.

Funinthesun15 · 23/09/2015 20:10

sorry yanbu grade three is allowed for boys therefore it is implied its ok for girls too

It isn't all over though. I can't imagine any school allowing boys to have that hair cut either

LemonySmithit · 23/09/2015 20:13

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Bottlecap · 23/09/2015 20:16

Of course it's an extreme haircut.

MyLittlePhony · 23/09/2015 20:24

It wouldn't necessarily be evident tied back. Especially if a side ponytail was worn. :)

Original poster
carnage · 23/09/2015 20:26

It's a middle school no a factory turning out widgets it's meant to be for child to grow and learn both academically and emotionally. How can you do that if you can't express yourself.

Btw i'm a very conservative company director.

OP posts:
Shutthatdoor · 23/09/2015 20:29

There are also rules that have to be kept.

LIZS · 23/09/2015 20:31

Every environment has a dress code, formal or implied. This clearly doesn't meet theirs but then I suspect you've known that all along. It is pointless trying to justify it , what is the proposed consequence?

MyLittlePhony · 23/09/2015 20:32

Nothing evolves without challenging the rules.... ;)

MyLittlePhony · 23/09/2015 20:34

The haircut is nowhere near as extreme as a skinhead or Mohican, so how can they possibly have known all along that this didn't meet their dress code??!! It's only now clear that the head doesn't like it!

GreatFuckability · 23/09/2015 20:35

That's not extreme imo. And the fact peoples opinions range from 'sweet' to 'Very extreme' shows that the language used is to vague.

Floggingmolly · 23/09/2015 20:38

Why does she need to express herself through the medium of hair at middle school? You can actually grow and learn perfectly well without adopting an extreme hairstyle at the age of 11.
Save your battles for a cause that actually matters.

museumum · 23/09/2015 20:39

If she wears it down or in a nape-of-the-neck ponytail then you can't see it at all. I would suspect however she didn't hide it on the day it was seen and she's now facing the consequences.
what are they suggesting you do about it? make her wear a wig??

Stillunexpected · 23/09/2015 20:45

As a company director I suspect you have your own implied or explicit ideas about how your employees express themselves? If she needs to grow emotionally there are many other ways to do so that don't involve sticking two fingers up to the accepted norms in her current environment.

GreatFuckability · 23/09/2015 20:51

floggingmolly the more pertinent question for me would be who is she harming BY expressing herself with her hair??

Original poster
carnage · 23/09/2015 21:00

she didn't do it for anyone else but herself it's not that she is sticking two fingers at anyone. The wording of the dress code now means any hair cut the Head Teacher doesn't like is classed as extreme and is not allowed. That is what is annoying me.

OP posts:
LemonySmithit · 23/09/2015 21:03

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

SaucyJack · 23/09/2015 21:05

Is she an indigo child by any chance OP?

ivykaty44 · 23/09/2015 21:09

If no one noticed for three weeks I wouldn't consider the hairstyle to be outlandish, extreme hairstyles would no5 look like a normal hairstyle surely and photo it isn't obvious the hair style isn't normal.

Did you ask the head teacher why they hadn't noticed for three weeks?

verenti · 23/09/2015 21:10

So what do the school want her to do with her hair? Does she need to get it cut to the same length all over, or can she wear it tied back so that the undercut isn't visible?

MaudGonneMad · 23/09/2015 21:11

Crikey. Just looked up indigo child. Is that really a thing? Confused

Original poster
carnage · 23/09/2015 21:14

I had to look up 'indigo child' sounds like a load of hippy bull to me.

OP posts:
notquiteruralbliss · 23/09/2015 21:55

Nice enough haircut. Several of my DDs have had similar. Flexible enough to be school friendly (just needs a low pony tail for school) and able to be more interesting out of school. As others have said, ask the school how they would want it styled.? They probably would consider short all over equally unsuitable.

whois · 23/09/2015 21:58

I do not think that is extreme at all. She looks very sweet and conservative with her hair down, and tied back you can hardly notice anyway.

I'd be tempted to phone the school and say she got chewing gym stuck in and it had to be cut out, and this looked less 'extreme' than just a dirty great chink of hair missing.