AIBU to be cracking up at DCs?

[peppansalt]

Am at utter loss as to where to go with DS (10) and DD (8), with their lack of respect for me or instructions.

Everyday feels like Groundhog Day with me asking them to do things and either being ignored or given backchat.

Flash points include getting ready for school (dressed, breakfast, teeth). They have been told 1000s of times no TV until ready, yet every morning, there they are laying on sofa, not moving until I've made their breakfast.

After school, i ask them to change out of their uniforms and am generally met with a barrage of moaning and a list of excuses why they can't. Same for doing homework, and generally any other request that comes from me.

Am exhausted from the shouting (me), back chat/attitude (them). Threats, bribery... Nothing works.

None of it helped by their constant bickering and fighting.

How do I enforce rules and get them to do as they're asked? I'm sick of having to do everything for them because I just can't take the grief.

I am with the ditch TV in the morning - record it if they are into a specific thing and reward them with it when they have snacked, changed and back downstairs after school. The strictly its homework at the table time while you prep dinner. They should be able to do this unaided and without a stick - allow them the time and if its not done tough theyhave to stand infront of the teacher and say why.

DD is 10 she has full responsibility for homework - she talks to us about it and shows us it and decides what to do and does it. Does her grammar book and online maths. I only ask Sunday afternoon if she needs time to do it or if we have weekend plans I remind her in the week so she can sort her time.

We get up around 10 to 8 and out the house 8.30. She gets her own brekkie while I sort mine and do her sandwiches. She will also do that if asked but to be honest the fact that she requires no asking to get on get ready sort her bag and eat brekkie means I don't mind. SHe some times facetimes her friend while they are both eating brekkie.

Its about what you expect. I always told Cait right from day one if she wasn't ready then she went in her PJs. I helped her get ready in reception and 1 and possibly 2 but for the most part she knew what was expected there was no time to waste and TV didn't go on - she tried it don't get me wrong but when we had the conversation that it made her late she didn't want to watch it and even now will ask if she can have it on if we are ahead of time for some reason. But I always remind her that she won't be able to watch all off it and the condition is that she comes straight away when called.

It will be interesting to see what happens at secondary as the bus is 7.45 and arrives at school 8.15 (does several schools) so I need to sort out if they have a breakfast session in canteen or library open or something

Every time we tried tv in the mornings it caused problems....I agree switch it off! And screens don't get switched back on in the evening till all tasks are done.

My dc are 7 and 4, and the eldest loves his screen time. It got to the stage a few weeks ago that I felt all he was doing in between bouts of computer and TV was mooching around , unable to amuse himself otherwise.
I confiscated all computers for a week and a half, and only limited telly. The difference in his behavior was marked.
We've just moved into a new house with a spare room where the extra tv and all computers will live. I've put a lock on the door so that if I need to again, I simply lock the door to take away their privileges.

My non negotiables are anything I expect or tell them to do. I don't tell them to do stuff or have rules for fun or to ruin their lives. I have them because they are important and there is a reason for them!
If something is not that vital then don't have a rule.

I wouldn't scream or shout or nag. There is one warning and then consequences.
I don't care if the kids get upset about it, it's better that than having constant battles.

Don't any of your 8/9/10 year olds go out to play with their friends after school? I have a job keeping my DS in!

Bastard , we live in a very rural area and although they do see plenty of their friends, it's a good 10 drive to the nearest one.

Unfortunately not Bastard. We used to live on a busy road where it wasn't practical and now we've moved somewhere quiet but there are no kids on our road and all of their school friends live too far away! Shame though, best bit of my childhood was the constant playing out.