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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To think you shouldn't find your child taking a snail and deliberately stomping on it very funny at all?

72 replies

OstentatiousBreastfeeder · 23/09/2015 12:10

A friend texted me earlier apparently in stitches because her son had found a snail, thought it was dead and showed it to her. It turned out to be alive after all, so he took it up the garden, stomped on it three times and shouted 'its dead now!"

She then filmed him standing next to the poor squished thing and asked him what he had done, then sent the video to me with lots of lols, crying-laughing emoticons and 'he's so cute'. I didn't really share the humour.

She's now accusing me of being oversensitive and weird, because it's 'just a snail.'

Its less to do with a snail being squashed (though I do rescue them from paths ) than it is her finding it hilarious, to be honest. She's told me to speak to her when I find a sense of humour and lighten up a bit.

Not really sure I want to lighten up if it means finding children being unnecessarily cruel hilariously funny.

I should add that her son is 3, and (imo) old enough to be told about and then somewhat understand the rights and wrongs of hurting other living things.

So am I being weird and sensitive? Or is this something worth being about? Would you laugh along?

OP posts:

BertrandRussell · 23/09/2015 12:52

I hate the spider killing threads too. Obviously some people are phobic- but if you are then you don't get close enough to kill. Most people are just pThetic.

lynniep · 23/09/2015 12:56

Its time to ditch the 'friend'. Her attitude stinks and her sense of humour is warped

LittleLionMansMummy · 23/09/2015 12:56

Yanbu. But then I was accused of overreacting on the parenting thread recently for getting cross with my son for a similar reason. He's 4 and I admit I overreacted a bit but it worked and he hasn't killed anything since. I admit though that I secretly want to commit wasp murder... I detest them when they fail to take the hint and just feck off.

GrandHighWitch · 23/09/2015 12:59

YANBU encouraging a child to find killing creatures funny is completely vile. That child has now learnt that killing things garners approval from its parent. It may be something small now, but what happens when it migrates on to bigger animals??
A couple of years ago the DSC bludgeoned a mouse they found in a bucket to death after asking if they could keep it as a pet. DH and I were absolutely furious and also really distressed about what would motivate them to such cruelty. As for spiders, I married DH for his spider wrangling skills. He deposits them all at the bottom of the garden. I felt dreadful for swatting and killing a giant one that leapt on me in the night.
"You kill it - you eat it" is not a bad deterrent for mindless bug killing that I will be using in the future!!

Hoppinggreen · 23/09/2015 13:00

Funnily enough we don't tend to get even accidental deaths maid
DH accidently trod on a beetle outside once and the DC were very keen to know w if I was going to make him eat it ( I didnt)

MaidOfStars · 23/09/2015 13:01

I relocate slugs and snails. It takes them 24 hours to get back in.

Call me Sisyphus.

Tokelau · 23/09/2015 13:03

YANBU OP.

I also hate it when small children chase birds, and their parents encourage them. It's horrible behaviour.

velourvoyageur · 23/09/2015 13:17

I don't have kids but I would be coming down on them like a ton of bricks if I did for that!
(I don't like it when people kill spiders either - not nice at all)

johnImonlydancing · 23/09/2015 13:20

No, not funny at all. My son is 3 and I would not expect him to do this and if he did we would be shocked and horrified and there would be a serious talking-to. I also wouldn't want him to be friends with anyone who did this!

TenForward82 · 23/09/2015 13:23

I also hate it when small children chase birds, and their parents encourage them. It's horrible behaviour.

Me too, I get sooooo annoyed and shoot the parents pointless death glares.

MarshaBrady · 23/09/2015 13:25

Yanbu

Grim

LaContessaDiPlump · 23/09/2015 13:25

I find the KILL IT KILL IT DEAD spider threads amusing, as it's rather obviously not true most of the time (burn your house down anyone) and will join in the spirit of them happily. I won't actually kill a spider though.

I could not rise to caring about the fate of a snail.

I don't know where to start with elucidating this statement. What makes the snail unworthy of being cared about? Is it its size, its species, its lack of intelligence? We need parameters in order to work out which creatures fall into the 'caring' zone.

yeOldeTrout · 23/09/2015 13:32

Y'all could aspire to rise to the lofty rights of some Jains and refuse to take antibiotics & walk around wearing a mask lest a bug stray into your lungs. Have to refuse anti-bacterial potions, too, and live with headlice, etc.

Else, we're all speciest. Just some pretend not to be.

StillRaving · 23/09/2015 13:35

Yadnbu, I'm the spider wrangler in this house & they get caught & into the garden Snails get moved .

Hoppinggreen · 23/09/2015 13:39

trout I think it's killing for fun and encouraging children to do likewise that most people take issue with.
This was my point about Fox hunting, IF foxes need to be killed ( or any animal come to that) it should be done as humanely as possible and not turned into a form of enjoyment.
I'm sure we've all killed things before by accidental treading etc but thinking it's funny and sharing that with others and thinking it is too is what I find so awful in this case, especially when it's encouraging a child to do it.

LaContessaDiPlump · 23/09/2015 13:40

There's achievable speciesm (sp?) and ridiculous speciesm. Washing your hands after using the loo = sensible disease control. Bleaching your hands after using the loo = not sensible disease control.

If we tried to avoid killing bacteria/tiny insects then that would impede living a normal life, but it's quite feasible to live a normal life and not kill spiders/larger insects dead. The bastard cabbage whites got my kale, for instance. I cursed them but considered that they had a right to live as much as I do.

NicoleWatterson · 23/09/2015 13:44

I think it's about encouraging empathy for other living things.
The more I see of nature the more I see bonds between animals like we have, even garden birds grieving for their baby that's died. We aren't that different.

never seen quite that bond between a snail and another, but I have seen them shag

Fromparistoberlin73 · 23/09/2015 13:48

they start with snails, move onto small animals and end up having a torture dungeon and doing unspeakable things

yanbu- he is a budding psycho

TenForward82 · 23/09/2015 13:51

trout you're just being goady now.

contessa said it well.

Hygellig · 23/09/2015 14:47

I don't think a three-year-old stamping on a snail is psychopathic behaviour. At least I hope not, otherwise I'm doomed to be the mother of a future psychopath.

My son (4) has sometimes stamped on snails but I always tell him he should not do that and that is wrong, even though snails are a pest in the garden. I certainly wouldn't find it funny or post a video of it.

On holiday there were some large ants and he went round shouting "let's make ants dead" so I had to discourage that as well. I don't know where he gets it from. Apparently when I was the same age I cried if I trod on an ant.

TenForward82 · 23/09/2015 14:54

I don't think a three-year-old stamping on a snail is psychopathic behaviour.

No, he's not a psychopath YET, but filming his behaviour while laughing and going on about how "cute" he is is not likely to discourage him from becoming one in the future.

MrsRossPoldark · 23/09/2015 14:55

I don't find it funny at all, but I wouldn't get too wound up with the child - it's the fact that their Mum thinks it's hilarious that is worrying.

What is she teaching her child? Mum needs a serious think and someone needs to teach that child that what they did was wrong. However, it won't turn them into murderers, but the experience should really be used as a teaching opportunity.

Respect all life. And that does include spiders, which get turned out of doors in my household, but never killed.

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