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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not want dd to visit this house again?

47 replies

ginmakesitallok · 23/09/2015 09:46

The other night dd was at a sleepover at friends house. When I dropped her off there was a dog in the shared back garden who scared the life out of both of us when it launched itself at the door when we walked past. Turns out its dfs dog. When I picked dd up dfs mum was bringing dog in from a walk. She had no control over it at all, but claimed that it was friendly and great with kids. It's a staffie/rottie cross. Speaking to dd later she said how nice the dog was once it calmed down and said that dfs baby brother (14 months ish) was pulling it's tail and it didn't mind!!!

Aibu not to let dd back to this house with an uncontrolled dig like this, with owners who let young kids annoy it?

OP posts:
PuntasticUsername · 23/09/2015 09:48

YANBU. I have no issues at all with particular breeds, it's how the dog is treated, and this doesn't sound great to me. Certainly not great enough for me to leave my own DC in the same house with it.

Wishful80smontage · 23/09/2015 09:51

I wouldn't let her go back either

Original poster
ginmakesitallok · 23/09/2015 09:51

I agree, not a breed problem per se, but with this dog it needs to be really well trained and controlled. It's a big strong beautiful dog, who needs someone who can do that, not to be living in a flat with young kids.

OP posts:
TheBunnyOfDoom · 23/09/2015 09:52

How old is DD?

Original poster
ginmakesitallok · 23/09/2015 09:52

So what do I say when she's I voted back? Do I make excuses, or do I tell the truth?

OP posts:
Original poster
ginmakesitallok · 23/09/2015 09:52

She's 11

OP posts:
WanderingTrolley1 · 23/09/2015 09:53

Yanbu.

PuntasticUsername · 23/09/2015 09:57

Dunno, invent an allergic reaction that occurred after the last time your DD visited?

Original poster
ginmakesitallok · 23/09/2015 09:59

I don know if saying "dd is allergic to your house" would be any more polite than "I think your dog is dangerous".

OP posts:
Mrsjayy · 23/09/2015 10:00

The baby playing with its tail would put me off i think why do people let kids crawl over dogs baffle me but your dd is 11 What will you tell her i dont trust your friends mum to keep you safe ?

claraschu · 23/09/2015 10:02

I think that if a 14 month old has been pulling the dog's tail for months and he is not reacting, your 11 year old should be fine around it. Some dogs are very excited around new people but are not going to bite or become aggressive. It sounds like this dog is not perfectly trained, which is too bad, but I do know several dogs who jump up on visitors and rush around the house in an over excited way, but are incredibly friendly and good with kids.

I would never keep a child this age from visiting a friend because of an overly bouncy dog.

Original poster
ginmakesitallok · 23/09/2015 10:03

I'd tell dd the truth. I don't want her around the dog. She also said the dog was ok "as long as you didn't run". The more I think about it, the more I know that I would never ever forgive myself if she was there and anything happened to her.

OP posts:
Nataleejah · 23/09/2015 10:06

Sorry,YABU.
Your dd is not a toddler. She did get on well with the dog. Whats your problem?

Sparklingbrook · 23/09/2015 10:06

Does your DD want to go back?

DS1 has a fear of dogs so probably wouldn't want to.

Original poster
ginmakesitallok · 23/09/2015 10:09

Is it only toddlers who get attacked by dogs then?? I've been around bouncy dogs all my life, my mum had boxers. This dog is totally uncontrolled and left alone with children.

OP posts:
SeekEveryEveryKnownHidingPlace · 23/09/2015 10:10

Nataleejah do dogs only ever bite toddlers?

diddl · 23/09/2015 10:12

But what does it having it's tail pulled prove other than that it tolerates it atm?

And in what way did it need to calm down?

I'd be wary as well tbh.

LoseLooseLucy · 23/09/2015 10:13

I had dogs growing up and have one now, so my DD is used to them, but I wouldn't let her sleep somewhere where there is a skittish dog.

Nataleejah · 23/09/2015 10:14

No, but 11yo knows better not to do things to a dog that a toddler would.

anotherbusymum14 · 23/09/2015 10:15

You're concerned (and you wrote this post) so YANBU. Your child and your decision :)

MerryMarigold · 23/09/2015 10:18

I was a bit Hmm reading your post initially, but it sounds like you know about dogs and know how these kind of dogs should behave and be treated. If I were you, I would be tempted to report to whatever agency deals with this kind of thing. A dog like that, in a flat, with a toddler...nuff said.

Mrsjayy · 23/09/2015 10:20

I think its up to you if you dont want her there just tell her you dont like the dog and have the friend at yours instead

TheBunnyOfDoom · 23/09/2015 10:39

It's upto you, but soon she'll be a teenager and you won't really be able to stop her going to see her friends on the basis of a "dangerous dog".

Surely it's best to teach her how to behave around it, rather than ban her being there altogether? Most 11 year olds should understand that certain things are dangerous to do around dogs and to be sensible.

CrabbyTheCrabster · 23/09/2015 10:40

'Report to whatever agency deals with this sort of thing'.

Would that be The Agency For The Prevention Of Dogs Being Bouncy Around Children? Confused

OP how is your DD around dogs? Does she know how to read dogs' body language and calming signals, know what not to do with dogs?

beetrootpickle · 23/09/2015 10:40

Dog is OK "as long as you don't run"?! Bloody hell!

I would just phone the mum and say you're a bit worried about dogs & ask if they could separate the dog safely/easily? Explain that although you/your DD likes the dog she/you are a bit nervous. If she takes offence at this then avoid the house!

I would never take offence at someone not feeling confident with my dogs. Not everyone is - particularly with the larger breeds.

I have a German Shepherd and a Doberman. Both mine have actually passed behavioural tests with flying colours (we are foster parents), they are lovely natured and well-trained - but I would still never leave them alone with children.

Any dog can do a huge amount of damage and a Rottie/staffy cross must have a very powerful bite.

not just dangerous to toddlers

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