To find people who shout about their views on behalf of others wearing?

[LunchpackOfNotreDame]

Fwiw I hold liberal conservative views. I'm pro choice, pro gay marriage, pro live your life any way you bloody well please as long as it doesn't impact on mine.

However I'm finding with the advent of social media and the Internet people have got more of a platform to voice their views and see it as their right to have everyone listen to them and accept their standpoint with people who challenge it being g wrong or uncaring etc

There are are few that are going round twitter at the moment that I'm finding hard to reconcile my liberal head with my conservative head over. Those being the #shoutyourabortion and the cis issues. I don't know if the former is because I have struggled with miscarriage and infertility or whether I find such a private matter to be seen as something to be proud of abhorrent. Either way I feel I am ever increasingly not being able to voice my more conservative side in today's society.

Aibu to find the ever louder voice of people campaigning for perceived rights wearing?

I had an abortion 10 years ago.
Only myself and DH know about it.
I have never ever spoken about it to my family or any of my friends and don't think I ever will, most of my friends and family will say they are pro choice, but I've often seen them then judge a woman for those choices. They don't realise that saying "ohh that woman on TV had an abortion just so she could continue her career as a model, selfish woman" but also saying "ohh so and so had an abortion so they could finish uni, how brave of her" is just another way of saying "I'm pro choice as long as it's a choice I agree with" It's that judgment that stops me telling anyone.

I 100% don't regret my choice! I 100% know I did the right thing. I didn't and still don't feel sad or any guilt at all afterwards, just relief. I don't really care what strangers think,but I do care what my family think, and I don't want to be in a position where I have to defend my choice to have control over my own body and life, so I keep my trap shut whenever the topic comes up.

I've read some of the #shoutyourabortion last night and I didn't see any gloating or bragging, I got the idea it's about breaking down the shame that many seem to think a a woman should have if she's had an abortion. The only nastiness I've seen is from extreme religious groups telling women like me I'm a child murderer and deserve to die, burn in hell, etc so I stopped reading.

I do think women should be able to talk about it openly and frankly, because I dont think it's anything to be ashamed of.

I've never had an abortion. But I've thought I was pregnant and knew I would have an abortion if I was. It wasn't flippant, but neither was it sad, or wrong, or something I feel I should have been silent about.

The original woman wrote an article for the guardian, it's quite interesting.

www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2015/sep/22/i-set-up-shoutyourabortion-because-i-am-not-sorry-and-i-will-not-whisper?CMP=share_btn_tw

We don’t have legal abortion here in Ireland. One of the aims of the anti-choice groups is to give the impression that, by keeping abortion illegal, fewer or none will happen. Those in favour of repealing the legislation want to get the message across that the current law simply makes abortions more expensive, more traumatic and more dangerous.

We don’t have the luxury of staying silent on the issue of abortion, if we want women to have full, or even any, reproductive freedom.

AHEM

The advent of social media/internet as a platform just feels like a lot of noise to me at times. eg I won't join FB discussion forums as an example as it get so heated its like an assault on the brain. Some people have a real urge to be heard all the time - its as if there simply is no filter. Same thing in here really as its an opinion board - I can talk and discuss in here but I step back after a while Id rather have brain space.

Yes we all have a right to speak out but just as in real life there are people who are just wearing. Internet amplifies them a thousandfold and that I find is main part of the problem. No thanks. Its not going to change so the best thing to do is keep out of most of it..again, same as you would do in real life where (hopefully) you wouldn't have people in your circle who must shout down others' opinions and forever be right

DoJo the campaign poster that I saw on Facebook stated that the woman was proud of her abortion.

Proud just didn't seem like the right word at all.

I'm saying if it bothers you, then don't engage with it

Yeah! And that way the monster shouters win. If all sides of an argument, all opinions are not heard, if all viewpoints are not aired then those who shout loudest get things changed to suit themselves.

For example, I abhor UKIP. Engaging with its supporters irritates the living daylights out of me. They have such a simplistic and oddly patronising hate filled view point. So, the above logic says I should simply not engage with them. So any public debate they enter everyone who thinks as I do simply does not interact. Then what happens?

As a few people throughout history have said : The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is that good men do nothing.

wearing?
wearing what?
what are they wearing?

UKIP is a political party one that has gained a lot of support I believe it is better to communicate with supporters and understand why they show support rather than shout them down

the different is #shoutyourabortion is a platform for women to come out and say how they feel about having an abortion. Many are saying I am fine with it I feel no guilt, I am happy with the decision I made I feel no shame and I am fine with others knowing that, because we are meant to feel shame and suffer emotionally

Claiming to be pro choice but expecting women to not discuss how they feel about a procedure that they have had is limiting pro choice its shutting women voicing their experiences its really not that far removed from I am pro choice if ........

being pro choice is that giving women a choice and not in any way judging her choice

Oh! I see, the thread is now about the abortion thing. OK!

threads move on as you know but I am sticking to the subject of abortion as mentioned as part of the opening post and why I feel #shoutyourabortion is a good platform for women to speak out on

and I have questioned the op up on her insisting she is pro choice, yes it seems as long as we shut the fuck up about it

or should I just be quiet

I agree with you lunchpack. Some of my views have been in favour and some haven't depending on the issue and the timing. Some have been changed by some excellent insights and experiences on here, BUT I have experienced the "shutting down" of argument too.

I personally hate the expression "called on it" as if there is an absolute "right" view, (generally accepted by all good people), and that any view that might not chime with this position or might seem to challenge it is wrong and must be pointed out and ridiculed, often by way of insult and cries of racist/sexist/fascist/uncaring/hateful for the good of all humanity.

"Calling someone" on behaviour that you don't approve of assumes that you are judge and jury. Questioning, debating, arguing, challenging is quite different and both healthy and informative.

Sorry - aware that the tone of that sounds a bit priggish!

DoJo the campaign poster that I saw on Facebook stated that the woman was proud of her abortion.

I haven't seen that poster, but presumably that came with an explanation of why?

Proud just didn't seem like the right word at all.

Surely that would depend on the context? I can imagine being proud of taking action which helped you to break free from an abusive relationship, or that enabled you to continue to provide financially for your family instead of tipping you over into poverty, or just doing something that felt difficult but was ultimately the right decision for everyone concerned. Who is anyone else to say what someone else should be feeling about a decision that they have made which doesn't affect anyone other than those directly involved?

I think this is the problem with dismissing 'emotional' responses in an argument as 'shutting down' debate - it is largely impossible to separate how you feel about something from the facts and figures surrounding it. Confirmation bias will always see people using the data that best supports their argument, and with so much information at our fingertips, we are all guilty of picking and choosing the evidence we choose to believe, so how we feel is essentially the deciding factor in how we choose to act and the side we support.

*and I have questioned the op up on her insisting she is pro choice, yes it seems as long as we shut the fuck up about it hmm

or should I just be quiet*

I didn't say that.

You may not have, but it seems that you should shut the fuck up about that too

Evidently!

DoJo

It was this one

I stand by my opinion that 'proud' doesn't seem like the right word.