to ask how you share finances?

[Dogsarebetter]

Can I ask how you work your finances between you when you move in together? I'm thinking keep our separate bank accounts, but have a joint one for the bills with a direct debit into it each month of an equal amount to cover household bills and then maybe another joint savings account with a direct debit of an equal amount going into that (ideally we would like to save for a mortgage deposit) then anything left over in our personal bank is ours to spend on shoes and horses

Does this sound about right?

We do exactly as proposed in the OP. Has worked well for us for 7 years.

The most important thing is that whatever you decide is equitable and both parties are happy with it.

I also agree that the right solution might vary depending on your circumstances and how aligned you are in terms of priorities/attitude to spending and saving.

Our system kind of evolved and works for us: when we first moved in together (prekids, similar incomes) we set up a joint account to cover the mortgage, bills and food and both paid the same amount in each month.

As our incomes changed, they weren't so similar any more, so we tweaked it so that the higher earner contributed more. We both chucked any spare cash into savings each month too. Over time, the joint account was used for more and more joint expenditure e.g. meals out together, holidays etc.

Then we had kids and I became a sahm and we made everything joint.

It's never been an issue for us as we have a similar attitude to money and are both generous with each other when we can afford to be. I have no idea who spends more each month but neither of us takes the piss and we always discuss big purchases so it's a non-issue really.

We just have one joint account and all income and expenditure goes into/comes out of that. Works well for us but we both have similar attitudes to money. I guess this wouldn't work if one was a saver and one a spender. Also we've been married for 18 years - if I was just living with someone I'd keep things separate, I think.

We both earn about the same. We have our accounts and a joint account. We each pay the same into our joint account and use it for bills and joint spending. We have our own money to spend as we wish.
However I'm now 22 weeks pregnant. I'll be going on maternity for 9 months and will be receiving a lot less money. We'll be having a rethink shortly.

We have a broadly similar setup - we earn slightly different amounts, though, so have gone for a proportional rather than equal contribution.

Effectively, we worked out roughly how much our monthly outgoings would be, and added a bit on for contingency. We pay an amount proportional to our income - it's about 40% of what we have coming in each. Groceries (inc. toiletries, cleaning etc.) goes on a credit card and is paid off on payday, in broadly similar proportions. We then have whatever is left to ourselves.

It works for us. We decided on it, and discussed it in depth, before moving in. There don't seem to have been too many disagreements so far - except for the amount of takeaways we were putting on the groceries card!

Been together many years. Everything is shared except what is in ISA's.
We used to earn similar but then I did childcare and he got promoted lots. He earms way more than me but I deal with more of the shit stuff. So were even.

I just pay for everything as it crops up. And the mortgage and bills come out of my account by dd. But if I'm hitting my limit any month I just ask him to send me a few grand. If theres a big purchase I'll just say to him to pay it as after bills, food, childcare and mortgage I don't have more than a few hundred which I always seem to use on oil or insurance or something. It's all joint money anyhow. Makes no difference who pays what. He would never I'm a million years question my spending and tends to send me more than what I ask for on the rare occasion I ask him to add to my account.

One bank account since dd was born 18 years ago and I overheard him telling a friend he had never been so well off since we got married while I was struggling with an overdraft. He just hadn't realised. It's something I'll pass on to dcs when they decide to move in with their partners is to discuss money first.

We have separate accounts but DP pays 80% of his salary into my account.

I deal with all the financial stuff, rent/bills/ holidays/clothes etc because he works away so it's easier for me to do.

I would never have a joint account and DP trusts me enough not to run off with the savings

Ours are complicated, though ultimately we see it as all "our" money. Mortgage is joint (so therefore so is the associated saving pot, which we use for house repairs etc). Both have savings accounts in our own names, we have a joint current account for mortgage and bills, and personal current accounts that our salaries are paid into. Then I have a second current account for giving - standing orders to charity, sponsoring people etc - and pay an amount into that every month from my personal account. We also have a joint credit card and each have a personal credit card.

The principle in our house is that it's all shared money: when we first moved in together we added each the other to our current accounts so we could get access to other's money in case of emergency (in 25 years there hasn't been one!). My salary is still paid into "my" account and DH's is paid into "his" and some bills come out of my account and some out of DH, so it works very much as if we have separate money but that's not how we think of it. We have separate ISAs of course but other savings are shared and we always agree large purchases. We have a very similar attitude to money and it's the one thing we have never argued about. If one of us was really bad with money I guess our arrangement wouldn't work but it suits us.

Dp and I moved in together at 21 (15 years ago) and we've always had completely joint finances. There was a period I earned more but for the most part dp has been the higher earner.Now we have 2 dc and I'm a SAHM so dp earns it all, I spend more and do the finances. It's just easier to have one pot with everything going in and everything going out. I hear friends talk of how their partners "owe" them for stuff (half of birthday presents etc) and I'm .

It is worth saying that the systems that have proportional or equal contributions from both parties in a heterosexual relationship are very likely to mean that most women have less spending money. Particularly after having children.

Add to this the 'tax' on being female see here and the fact that in a break-up of a relationship women are normally financially hit more than men and you have an interesting situation. Women traditionally earned less because of the patriarchy as men were assumed to carry the family and women earned pin money. Now, women are more likely to take the financial hit for families while still earning less.

Equal spending money and 'free time' at least means that in my house, if not in the world, men and women are valued equally for their roles.

If you don't earn the same, you could use a % instead. You would both put in 75% of your wage to the joint account. For example :)

Always had shared bank account from the day we moved in together. Everything goes in and comes out of the one account. Couldn't be done with the faff of transferring money all the time.

Very good point Mrs Terry Pratchett. It doesn't really matter now, but when money was tighter I remember discussing with DP how the very different appearance expectations of our workplaces meant that I had less ready cash in practice, as not only did I need office wear (he can rock up in jeans), but I was also shelling out for haircuts, makeup, etc. in order to conform to the expected image of a young, professional woman.

Dh is the higher earner, but all money is shared.

We have sole accounts and a joint account. I get paid first, so all of my salary goes into the joint account and to the cm. Dh gets paid a week later and some of his salary then goes into the joint account and what is leftover is family money.

I log onto his internet banking and transfer money into my account so I can use my debit card, or just use his debit card if it's there. He does the same with mine.

I have two jobs and the combined salaries are about £3k a year more than DP earns. We each have our own current account and savings accounts, and we have a joint "house" account that we put an equal amount into per month. The joint account is for rent, Council Tax, contents insurance, utilities, window cleaner and car finance payments (ending in January, yippee!).

Out of my account, I pay car insurance, petrol (apart from the odd £20 that DP puts in), MOT, car tax and all other car expenses. When we got together he didn't have a car, so we used mine. When it went to the garage in the sky, we got a new one on finance and agreed that he would pay 50% of the payments (hence it coming out of the joint account) but I would continue to pay everything else because I use the car much, much more than DP does, although it is available for him to use when he needs it with a bit of notice. I also pay my mobile bill out of my account, and debt that I'm clearing.

Out of DP's account, he pays for the broadband (linked to his mobile contract) his child maintenance (£400 per month), the TV licence plus the bit of debt that he's clearing.

We're getting married in a couple of years, so we're trying to save as much as we can, but obviously having a higher income means I'm going to be able to save a lot more. I'll let you know if anything changes once we're married, but this seems to work for us!

When first together we did a % split.

We still dont have a shared account, DH wages surpassed mine some years ago. So he ended up paying for everything so we still had similar amounts of disposable income after all bills.