to ask how you share finances?

[Dogsarebetter]

Can I ask how you work your finances between you when you move in together? I'm thinking keep our separate bank accounts, but have a joint one for the bills with a direct debit into it each month of an equal amount to cover household bills and then maybe another joint savings account with a direct debit of an equal amount going into that (ideally we would like to save for a mortgage deposit) then anything left over in our personal bank is ours to spend on shoes and horses

Does this sound about right?

my impression is that we are a bit weird, but we have only joint accounts and dump everything in there.

dp earns about 40% more than i do.

I think a lot depends on what stage of the relationship you're at. Is this a trial run of sorts? i.e. if it works out you'll be getting married or making a lifetime commitment similar to marriage, but right now you just want to see if you live together well? Or is this already at the life-time commitment stage? You also need to consider whether you want children.

For couples without children who are effectively living as a friend-share with regular sex, I think it's fine to maintain completely separate finances with all bills split 50/50 and paid either by having an additional joint account to your separate accounts into which you each pay your 50%, or one can simply transfer to the other.

IF you are committed for life, however, whether married or otherwise, all money should be viewed as joint money IMO. It doesn't matter whether you have a joint account, separate accounts, or both, but you should both feel that you have equal rights to that money and be able to access it. It doesn't matter that one person earns more - you are a team and everything should be shared.

The danger with joint accounts is that both parties can buy something the other isn't aware of and push the account into the red. For that reason, I think the best way is to pool the money, work out the bills, and then allocate each other a set amount of disposable income per month which you know you can spend as you want without having to check with the other.

You can choose to have your personal earnings paid into your personal account and then transfer bill money into a joint account, with what's left then being your disposable cash. You can ensure that all bills are direct debit and split them to an equal value between your separate accounts. Or you can have a joint account that all bills come out of and all your earnings are paid into, and you transfer your disposable income to your separate accounts.

There are lots of ways of dealing, but the most important feature is an agreement over your approach to finances, transparency, and equal access.

Me and DH have had a joint account for about ten years which was when we were first living together. All money in, all bills out and what's left is ours. We both use it for bits and bobs and anything big we usually just say to the other 'do you mind if get X'. It works great especially when I was on maternity leave. I wouldn't like to have to ask for half the money if I bought something expensive for the kids say school uniform.

We have two joint accounts - his salary goes into one of them to pay all the bills and all other money, and excess from the other account, goes into the 2nd account for day to day stuff and spends.

If he were making large purchases he would ring me to check that there is enough disposable income as a matter of courtesy. (Because it's way too hard to go to the cashpoint and check the balance isn't it?

We each have personal accounts. We pay an amount proportionate to our wages in to a joint account for mortgage, bills, food, shared expenses. Money left in personal accounts is our own to do with what we please.

That has worked well until now, but I am starting maternity leave in a couple of weeks so will be financially disadvantaged. I may need to insist on all money going straight to the joint account.

We've just moved in together, if that helps with context.

Joint account, joint savings account, and a private current account each. 80% of OH's salary goes into the savings account.

I transfer money from my salary which covers the rent, bills, food into the joint account, and DDs/standing orders go out i.e. only known recurring/expected costs as per PoundingTheStreets's comment. Means we know at the start of the month all bills are covered and our spending on less important things cannot cause problems.

We do what we want with anything left over, but generally know how much each other has. I tend to pay for more nights out, treats etc., and we both generally know how much the other has.

At some point we'll probably just merge both salaries directly into the joint account, but the current situation works well for a (relativey, just under < 1 yr) new relationship.

how do you share bills?

He pays mortgage, I pay everything else. Used to do the spreadsheet thing. For the last 3 years we've had a business together, so we get the same pay every month. Before that money would get paid across between us. My money cycles through 3 other current accounts and some ends up in savings accounts that gets used for stuff for all of us.

We kind of have our own money, he has a lot more than I do, as he is the breadwinner. I work part time, so we have dribs and drabs of money that goes into our own accounts.
We generally do whatever needs doing when it's due from each others money.
So we don't put it all in one pot but we do help each other out.

Linking credit histories by sharing a joint account can lead to problems further down the line if you separate etc. just to warn you.

We've always shared money, both our salaries go into our joint account. My husband makes more than me, but it's all family money.

We transfer equal amounts into our private accounts every month for spending when out with friends, clothes, haircuts, whatever.

Yes, it depends on your stage. If I moved a boyfriend in here now (now I have children and am divorced) I would want a clear written cohabitation agreement and separate finances. When I married everything was joint for 20 years and I did our tax returns and we both had full information about each other and our earnings and crucially both were savers with the same priorities so it worked very well being joint. We earned the same to start but ultimately I earned 10x more. It is not the case for everyone that they are both savers of course in which case separate accounts with a joint one for the rent, electricity, childcare etc bills is a good idea and you each pay into that half of those costs.

Separate accounts and I pay him a bit of rent each month. He's got 3 older kids who are financially dependant on him so I can't see how it would work if we had a joint account. We roughly split food bills and I pay some house repairs.

It works for us - he earns a lot more, but due to kids I probably have more disposable income.

A friend used to do it by her and her OH writing down everything they spent in a book and divvying it up at the end of the month. That sounds far too much like hard work for me...

We have a joint account. Everything goes into that. Everything comes out of it. We both know how much spare money we have. We both buy small bits from it as and when. We run bigger purchases past the other person. We both have a credit card with a small limit that we use for "secret things" eg birthday presents. We used to have the spare money split 50/50 into 2 seperate accounts. We're just too lazy to maintain that. It seemed pointless.

Most important thing is that you discuss it openly and honestly, and reach a way of doing it that you're both happy with.

We get our salaries paid into a joint account which all the bills and household spending come out of. We then pay ourselves a set amount of personal spending money each month (same amount each). It works for us because we both have variable salaries - sometimes dh earns more, sometimes I earn more.

We have a joint account for household and children expenses so bills, food, childcare etc. We work out how much we need per month to cover these expenses and then pay in proportionately to income. DH currently pays 2/3, I pay 1/3.

Mobile bills and travel expenses come out of our individual accounts as do gifts, clothes etc.

It works very well for us. We have our own savings accounts though know how much the other has. How much we save each month depends on the rest of the discretionary spending.

Each have a current account that salaries go into. Not worth salaries going into joint one as we get perks for paying in x into our own current ones.

One joint account which we put a % of our money into. OH earns 58% of our combined salaries, I earn 42%, so we put in the equivalent % each so it is even stevens. Going to set up a joint savings account after we complete on property purchase but not worth it at the mo.

Prefer the idea that we can buy each other presents without taking it out of the joint account. He never looks but I do, so nothing would ever be a surprise, haha...

We have one bank account for all in, and out. Whatever either of us needs or wants comes out of that account. I consult with DH over medium/big purchases, he consults with me over every penny... because I do the banking and financial planning and he hasn't got a clue what is in the bank! I don't earn anything and haven't for 2 thirds of our relationship. I have never felt it wasn't as much my money as his though. We hardly buy each other anything as our finances are tight, so when we do it is planned (birthdays, Christmas etc) he will transfer some cash into his second account that we usually only use for his fuel and parking cash, and I know not to look at that account for a while so it is a surprise He never checks the main account so I can buy what I like and know he will be surprised. We have done this since we got together as he didn't have a bank account at the time so he had his wages paid into mine... moved in together about a month or so after.

He is awful managing finances so is happy for me to do it all and tell him what he can spend and when... and he does all the ironing because I would throw myself out the window if I had to iron for all 6 of us - it works for us :)

We have a joint account which we each put 50% of our wages into then keep 50% each. Everything house related (mortgage etc), petrol and gifts for family/ friends comes out of it or things we do as a couple.

Depends. Kids? Are you married? How long have you been going out? Is the house rented or owned by one of you or jointly owned? Do you warn similar amounts? Do you have similar outlook on money?

DP and I have no kids and rent and are not married.

We have a joint account which is used for rent and all household bills such as internet, water etc.

We tend to kinda take it in turns to buy shopping or dinner out or something, although I try to buy them more oftne because I earn more at the moment but he won't really accept that. I really hate that I can afford to do things he can't, and he won't let me pay.

We've lived together two years. No DC together but he has three from a previous relationship.

We have separate bank accounts and savings accounts. We both earn approx. the same (within £100 of each other take-home/month). We split things evenly - he pays rent, and I pay the equivalent on bills (elec/gas, council tax, water, internet, pet insurance - and I buy the food shop). We end up with about £300 each leftover after that for personal spends.

I save half of mine and use the rest on meals out, trips to the cinema and obviously on things for myself (clothes, candles etc.). He spends most of his on work lunches and video games. But it doesn't matter. Once we've paid the essentials, we can do whatever we each want with our leftovers.

We have no debt and neither of us have a car, which helps immensely.

Have an honest talk and write down all the incomings and outgoings.

Having said that, we moved in and set up a joint account within 6 weeks of our first date. Two children and 9 years later DH earns it and I spend it (said lightheartedly and am completely aware giving up financial independence is frowned upon on mn, and rightly so. I will be returning to work when the DC are older). You need to agree on how much you both want to save, spend and what happens to any surplus, how to deal with deficit, and if either of you owe on credit cards, loans etc make sure you both know how much debt the other is in (lesson learned there. For me it worked out ok in the end although we had some bloody lean years).

All in "one pot", in theory. But we actually put an amount that covers all mortgage/bills/food shops etc into a separate account (which happens to equal one salary) and what is left is split equally between us for us to save/spend as we see fit.

I think this should work well for you as idmf his earnings fluctuate then you share the good and bad months equally.

We set up a joint account shortly after we got married. Our wages are paid into it and our mortgage and most of our bills are paid by direct debit from the same account.

Every month we work out what's left after our mortgage, bills, childcare costs and diesel are paid (we've set up spreadsheet to help with this). What's left after this is our disposable income. I take out a set amount each week for groceries and personal/work-related expenses.

We've always had the same amount each to spend on non essentials. So some into joint savings, some into the joint account that the bills (monthly, quarterly and annual) come out of and a holiday fund. That's from Day 1 when he was a student and I earned a pittance, to the days when I earned twice as much as dh, to now when I'm a sahm and our non essentials is not v much at all. We're a team. I still do all the bill paying and finance organising tho.