AIBU? Son wants to borrow my car

[stopfaffing]

My DS passed his driving test a few weeks ago, he is 20 and soon to be 21. He lives away from home so we don't see him too often but he'll be 21 come October and coming back for a visit. His dad has said he can have his car (15 years old 1.2 litre) as a run around to see if he can afford to run it (the MOT is up in six months) when he gets insurance at age 21 (under 21 the cost is massive).

One of the first things he said to be when he passed was "Mu-u-m (you know, that long three syllable mums ) you know when we go to visit gran at Christmas (6 hour drive away)... can I drive your car? My car is a 2.2 litre 4x4 and is my baby .

Technically there's no reason why not, he's passed his test after all. However, the mere thought of it gives me palpitations and I'm wondering how I will be able to cope sitting in the car with him. I thought that I could sit in the back seat with an eye mask on and headphones so I couldn't see or hear anything, but that's daft isn't it?

I said no, but I feel that is unreasonable really, and wonder if there's any mnetters out there who have been in the same position and found a way to come to terms with letting a new driver drive their precious car?

As an aside, DS is currently researching four door cars to buy because his dad's (free) car only has two doors and that would be inconvenient for when he drives his pals around . He'll learn .

I have my dad on my insurance as a named driver he doesn't live with me. I would check again as that doesn't sound right.

I'm reassured by all your comments and won't be allowing DS to drive my car when we visit gran at Christmas, or any other time. He would have to have his own independent insurance anyway because his home address is different to ours. Makes things simple . Thanks everyone.

He would have to have his own independent insurance anyway because his home address is different to ours.

No, he wouldn't.

Don't make it about the insurance. It's a factor but the bottom line is a no regardless. That's fine, YANBU and he knows it. He's just trying his luck, hence the three syllable mum.

I wouldn't. It's nothing to do with age or cost of insurance or engine size. It's lack of experience. He only has a few months experience under his belt and already wants to drive a bigger car. It's driving on the motorway, with big artic lorries, loads of cars whizzing around, he isn't used to the controls in your car etc... I'd give it a while longer, take him out on a motorway drive when it's not busy, to teach him motorway etiquette first. Driving in and around town and A roads is completely different to driving on the motorway. I live near a motorway and literally every week there's an accident. Getting insurance is one thing but getting off the motorway intact is another.

He would have to have his own independent insurance anyway because his home address is different to ours.

You could do a family plan, kids do it all the time with their parents.

My parents group up with me and DB when there's family plans available and we used pay them whatever extra including us tacks onto the bill. Now that we're adults and have jobs we just split it 4 ways equally, since we're all getting the same benefits and everyone saves.

But still. No is no. He doesn't need a reason.

He asked, the worst that could happen is that you'd think about it and say no. You've given your answer and that should be the end of it. :)

He has a car in his dads old one. It would be better to add you to his insurance. Adding him to yours will be insane cost. Also a 2.2ltr 4x4 is a BIG difference to a run around. Let him build up his confidence and experience before you let him drive your car.

I have a 22 and a 24 year old both with their own cars - sadly until they are 25 my insurance will not let them be named drivers on my policy
Their own insurance does not allow them to drive other vehicles either even 3rd party until they turn 25
If we go on a long journey (300 miles) to visit family in south we always take my car - higher powered, bigger, more comfy and also quite economical as diesel but sadly I always have to drive
Can't wait till next year when DD can share load with me

DS2(18) is a named driver on my VW Golf. It costs a fortune but has been a godsend because I'm not always well enough to drive both ways. It, also, means DH can share the driving if we on a long distance.

DS1(20) has his own policy and drives a 2L BMW. It costs just over £700 with Tesco. He used to be insured to drive my car before DS2 passed his test.

I used to drive my parents' cars, I had my own too. It gave me a lot of experience and it never bothered me whenever I had to drive a car that was different to my own.

Each to their own, though. If you don't want him to drive your car don't let him.

My Dad has never, ever let me drive his car even though now I have a bigger more expensive car than he does - which he drives. You don't have to say yes.
Neither my Dad not myself let my Mum drive our cars, but that is a whole other story.