To wonder if anything from childhood still annoys you?

[Blackcloudsbrightsky]

It's not ATAAT, honestly it isn't!

It is a continuation of that though - I wondered if anyone else remains annoyed at something that happened when they were a child?

I have a strange relationship with food and I know that stems from childhood - won't go into it here.

Two things that do annoy me still when I think about them are the car journeys. I suffer from severe motion sickness (people have tried to 'cure' me in the past by insisting I'll be fine if I look out of a window or suck a sweet HA I will spray your car and it serves you right!) but my parents still used to drive MILES all the time, from the midlands to the south of France and even Italy I spent days hot and nauseous and vomiting and everyone else was miserable too and I was blamed for their misery!

I also remain bitter about being smacked at primary school for wetting myself! Pretty sure it was illegal to do that!

So I am wondering if anyone else has injustices from childhood that grate still

I was given a glass jar of dolly mixtures with a blue stopper one Christmas when I was about four. On Boxing Day I went to get them and the jar was empty. I asked my mum what had happened and she said my dad had eaten them. I wasn't allowed to cry or get upset.

My mum is not a sentimental person - she also likes her home very minimalist
My childhood memory which still rankles is she never saved anything which we did or made as children - never stuck a picture on the fridge or appeared to treasure a hand made card or ornament
I vividly remember bringing things home from school and them ending up in the dustbin which really hurt
All our toys were also regularly disposed of or sold without us being asked first
This made me feel very unvalued even though I know I was very much loved - and has affected my self esteem as an adult

When I was 11 I was sent to the Head of Year as my English teacher accused me of copying a poem and pretending it was mine. I hadn't copied it at all but I'm not sure they believed me.

When I was 7 my dad left the family for his secretary. A few weeks later we were taken to meet his girlfriend and I still remember that when we arrived we were in the car, dad turned round and instructedme and my sister that we were to greet his girlfriend with a kiss and a hug. You know, the woman who had just co-fucked up our family.

Even at the time I knew it was bullshit but I wasn't the type of child to make a fuss. This girlfriend is now the wife and 20 years later her needs are still uppermost in his mind. Couple of total twats.

My nursery teacher told me off because I'd pulled someone's picture off the wall. The more I protested I hadn't, the crosser she got, I was put in the naughty chair (sobbing my little heart out) until eventually she said she had seen me do it herself!

And even now, I question whether I maybe had done it and forgotten about it, whether she lied because she was genuinely convinced I had done it and she just wanted to shut me up, whether she lied to get me into trouble, or whether she was simply mistaken.

This is very petty.

When I was about 7 I had a friend over to play. My DM loved this little girl and thought she could do no wrong. She often said to me, "Why can't you be more like X?"

We were playing, and I had a packet of jelly tots that I was sharing with her. We left the half empty bag on the mantelpiece and carried on playing. Her mum came to pick her up, and chatted to my DM in the hall. I ran upstairs to the bathroom. When I came back down, the jelly tots were gone, and I asked where they were. I then saw them in my friend's bag, and said "You've taken my sweets!" (Forgive me, I was only 7!) She denied it and said that she had brought them with her, her mum defended her, and so did mine! That's what really hurt. She had taken them from me, but my own mother took her side. I didn't even like sweets much, but I felt let down by my mother.

When I was about 15, the RE teacher in secondary school told me in front of the class that the reason my brother had cerebral palsy was because my parents had done something bad and God was punishing them. I got up and walked out of the lesson - and never went back - I got many detentions for RE refusal. I also got into trouble with my parents because I didn't want to tell them why I wouldn't go to the lessons as I didn't want to upset them.

10 days short of my 2nd birthday. Woken up and taken to meet my new baby sister. Nobody had warned me that this was going to happen. Surprisingly enough we never got on well!!!

A few things - mainly to do with my mum.

She was, and still is, a heavy smoker, and she used to smoke in the car - I was prone to car sickness, and the smell of her cigarettes used to make me feel really sick and gave me a headache. I got up the courage to tell her this and to ask her not to smoke in the car, and she refused, point blank, telling me it was dad's pipe smoke not her cigarette smoke (oh the joys of a 70s childhood). I knew it was the cigarette smoke, and when dad stopped smoking and mum didn't and I still got sick in the car, I had proof - but didn't dare ask again.

When dsis and I were little (me, 10 and her 8) we moved to a house where the water heater had no thermostat - and because of this (and reasons of economy) she and I had to share bathwater, and mum shared with dad. We bathed twice a week, and dsis always went first, so she got the hot, clean water, and I got the cooler, grubbier water - plus I had to clean the bath and hang up the towels and the bath mat afterwards.

When I had a later bedtime than dsis, this didn't seem too unfair - staying up that bit later was a fair enough pay off for having the second bath - but when we were both teenagers, and had the same bedtime, it seemed very unfair to me. So one day, I asked mum if dsis and I could take turns to go first - and she refused - for no good reason that I could see. It looked to me like blatant favouritism (dsis was, and still is, her favourite), but I now wonder if she also thought that, if she acknowledged that it wasn't fair for me to always go second in the bath, she'd have to take turns with dad too, and didn't want to give up having the nice, clean, hot water.

For my 18th birthday, I got a clock radio that cost £21. For hers, dsis got an oboe that cost £250.

The worst though was when she brushed me off, when I tried to tell her about being bullied at school - the bullying was all verbal, and she used that classic phrase - sticks and stones will hurt your bones, but calling names can't hurt you. She said I should just ignore them and they would stop.

I never felt that I could tell her that the bullying hadn't stopped - I was so sure she'd tell me that I just hadn't ignored them well enough. And I never dared go to the school about it, partly because, if my own mum didn't care enough to do anything, why would the school, and partly because I was afraid there'd be a backlash from the bullies, and I was afraid to face that, knowing I'd get no back up from my mum.

Not only that, but she didn't ever bother to ask if the bullying had stopped and if things had got better - nor did she notice me getting more and more withdrawn and unhappy. I was having suicidal thoughts by my mid teens - and it wasn't until a psychotherapist told me, at the age of 48, that this was not normal, that I realised I had been depressed way back then.

I still struggle with depression - it has blighted my life and spoiled so much of it, and it is down to the bullying at school. I blame the bullies, but they were children - but I do blame my mother too - she was an adult and I think she just didn't want the hassle of dealing with the school over it. Worst part - she was a teacher, so should have appreciated how serious bullying could be. She just didn't give a fuck.

a couple of things stand out

i was kicked out of the recorder choir because i played left handed and would look "odd" compared to the others

the wrestlers were performing at the town hall and i was not allowed to go because of my age but my cousin was allowed to go and we were the same age when i protested i was told yes but he is a BOY (because a penis adds years perhaps?) i refused to talk to my dad for ages he followed me around the house offering me cups of tea and biscuits as an apology

the time my dad said he would give me pocket money for every week i kept my room tidy HE NEVER PAID UP (again he followed me around the house trying to get me to speak to him)

I got told off in a French lesson - so 13 or so - for "smirking" at something the teacher said. I said I hadn't been, it was just my face (It's something I've been complimented on and pulled up for throughout my life - upturned corners of my mouth.) He sent me out of the classroom! Like DextersMistress I was never naughty in school and I still seethe at the injustice of it.

My mum and dad are sort-of cousins (not blood relations, mum is adopted) and they still both whinge about the year my mum asked for a Haynes manual cos she was really into cars in primary school, and my dad asked for a handicrafts book. Their grandma bought them the wrong way round and my dad wouldn't swap! Poor mum, think it's the only row they've ever really had

BrideofW That's awful. She should apologise. I think some parents rewrite history in their head, so think they have nothing to apologise for. I do know what you mean about bad parents who then go on to be good grandparents. I suppose it's easy to be a good grandparent as you usually have none of the responsibility of ensuring the child's physical and emotional well being, just the fun stuff!

I really only have the one that sticks out.
Uncle Dickhead was getting married, his new wife was lovely and insisted that all the girl cousins were to be her bridesmaids. Their were a lot of us. I think she ended up having about 14 bridesmaids.
When they were asking us to be the bridesmaid they asked us all individually and Uncle Dickhead said to me I don't want you to be bridesmaid because you're too fat and ugly but I have to ask you because we are asking everybody else. Of course I ran off howling and locked myself in my bedroom crying for hours. When I eventually told my mum what he had said he claimed he was joking and had said it to everybody. Mum told me off for making such a fuss and even though I insisted I didn't want to be bridesmaid I was made to be.
I was 11

jonicomelately I had the same thing for my Brownie Writer's Badge! 'She can't submit this, MrsKitties, I'm afraid it's quite obviously not been written by a 7-year-old.'

Yes-it-bloody-had-been, BrownOwl. Admittedly by a somewhat pompous 7-year-old with a liking for long words. And death scenes.

My father used to say no child of his would be a spoilt little princess.
He went on to have 2 more children and their reward for passing the 11+ was to go to Florida! If we achieved anything it meant we could choose the cuisine of the restaurant to celebrate.

If we ever had guests we were expected to meet and greet at the door, take coats, offer drinks, help in the kitchen, etc., etc. His other children usually appear as the meal is being served and do nothing to help.

And I have never used "Wait till your father gets home" as a threat. Either I deal with it or tell them I need to discuss it with their father. I saw it as weakness and cowardice in my mother.

Last one, although I could write for ages

The telephone and work were more important to our mother than we were. When we got home from school our mother would be in her (home) office working. If she was on the phone she would turn her back on us so as not to be interrupted.

New girl came to our school we became friends i introduced friend to my friend who went to another school they became besties and dumped me when i was 12 im still bitter about it was 30odd years ago. They are still friends and try and throw me a bone once a year for lunch and a catch up i used to go now im always busy and dont see them

My mother slapping me hard about the face because I accidentally spilt some bird seen.

I was about 12 and I still remember it.

She never apologised or worried if she had hurt me.

Anytime my mother told me the reason I did something.

EG:

"Bulbasaur, why didn't you do the dishes?"
"I forgot"
"No you didn't, you thought if you procrastinated long enough you wouldn't have to do them. I'm sick of this disrespect."

That's actually an innocent example. It gets much worse from there.

But I suppose I have learned to just take people's excuses at face value and not read into them since I hated it done to me growing up.

I don't remember too many of my own, though I know there are some!

This one is my brother's. We used to have these neighbors when I was young who were very religious...like the Duggars basically. It was all they ever talked about, being Christians, yet they weren't kind or good hearted in the least.

They had three boys and the eldest used to play with my brother a lot. Once he (the neighbor boy) squirted something all over their garage floor...I don't know what, some kind of ointment or something. (He and my brother were about six at the time.) His mother came out and the neighbor boy said my brother had done it. My brother said he hasn't and the neighbor said her son was a Christian and didn't lie!

Not that it matters, but we were Christians too. We just didn't go on about it every second of the day or think it made us better than anyone

I still seethe for him and feel bad for the neighbor boys. They were devious little liars actually, but as an adult I realize they were terrified of their parents. :(

When I gave my teacher a gift at Easter and she said 'Is that it?!' Seems all the other kids had given proper big chocolate eggs and there I was, must have been about five, shyly presenting her with a Cadbury's Creme Egg.
I'll add that my mum was on her own with three kids and a high pressure job and had probably had to pick something up last minute, and hey at least she made an effort. I was quite a troubled, sensitive little kid as well. So thanks Miss Cotton. Bitch.

Had a bad term at school when I was 8 and messed up my topic book. The teacher wrote "So much of your work has "gone missing" as if I'd claimed it had gone missing, when I hadn't, I was honest about the fact that I hadn't done it. The injustice of that still burns!