To hand my notice in, and worry about the rest later?

[badgergirl82]

Hello. Feel free to talk some sense into me ... Before I start I just want to explain that normally I am a very happy, cheerful, smiley sort of person and I (apparently!) give an outward appearance of being very calm. Someone once said 'I feel as if I am in safe hands with you,' which was lovely.

However, I suspect the truth might be that I'm just very good at masking things and the truth is, I have quite high levels of anxiety, although as I've said, I'm very good at putting on a front of calmness and serenity.

I started a job recently and I have an awful feeling about it. I don't actually think this is just the anxiety, although that is obviously massively exacerbating the feelings I have. I just think it's not right, somehow.

I don't honestly know whether the right thing might be to hand my notice in (obviously working my notice out) conceding that it just wasn't the right move for me and leave with no hard feelings on either side - or if I should battle it out.

Some other info: I have no mortgage but I don't have a partner at present so all other bills need to be paid for by me, and I have one sibling who is disabled and relies quite heavily on me emotionally and financially sometimes.

I'm really, genuinely interested to see what people think - thank you.

Marking place as in a very similar situation myself

Can you tell us more about what you think the problems are at the job?

Are your feelings based on anything other than a gut feeling? Actually even a gut feeling is based on something, if you just think about it.

Is it because it's not what you thought it would be? (Very common). The people you'll be working with are being odd? (Very common and only time will tell if you click together or bristle against each other as you both adjust)?

Are you confident in your employability? How long will your savings last?

It's really, really hard to say what my feelings are but I have an uncomfortable feeling I've either been set up to fail (I don't know but I have an inkling that one person wanted my role created, the other didn't want it to exist, if you follow me) or that the things that are expected of me are frankly unrealistic in the timeframe and with the hours I'm expected to work. I'm skilled at my job, but I'm not a miracle worker either.

Poppy, in terms of employability I do have the option for temp-based work (supply teaching) - which obviously isn't regular and reliable but just the same is likely to bring enough so that I don't have to worry about not eating, or similar!

However, I'm concerned that it would be damaging from the perspective of my career - I've always obtained promotions easily enough but the last two years have been very tricky for a plethora of personal reasons and as such I could really do with this place on my CV, not so much because the job itself is fabulous but for a period of stability and most crucially for a reference.

Hand your notice in. If you're miserable now it will get worse and if you are being set up to fail it's only a matter of time before they'll turn the screws.
Don't try to battle through it hoping it will improve as I did. It will finish your career and it just isn't worth it.

If nothing bad has happened I'd try to stick it out and look for something else

In teaching if you hand your notice in now you can't leave before Christmas anyway. If the OP sticks it out beyond the end of October she'll be stuck there till Easter.

Have you ever sought help for your anxiety? I think that should be your first step. If you want to leave your current job start looking at other opportunities. Be aware that if you just hand in notice and leave you may not get JSA, could you cope?

Thank you.

The issue with looking for something else is that in all honesty it will be pretty impossible as due to not only my own movements but that of various head teachers, I won't have a reference!

I'd essentially be making myself unemployable in a similar role for the next twelve months

On the other hand, as ilovesooty has said, my terror is that it might just finish my career. I really am very, very worried about this.

I wouldn't claim it anyway, penfold - I would do supply teaching and also I do have another small source of income. But as ilovesooty says I am there until Christmas.

I just feel like crying, to be honest: everything seems to have gone so wrong and I don't have much support so I am so grateful for everyone who has replied. My teaching friends are lucky enough to be in nice schools they've been in for a while and are established - well, I used to be as well, but silly me moved!

You always strike me as having sound instincts. If you listen to them you won't go far wrong.

Thank you, that's a lovely thing to say.

I worry that just as I appear calm and steady, I can also appear to be more grounded than perhaps I am! I am also conscious I have lost a lot of confidence over the past two or three years, yet also I know the new role isn't playing to my strengths.

I'm just worried leaving after a term would have a damaging and long term impact on the rest of my career.

I suspect your situation will resonate with many teachers. As your obliged to stay until Christmas would using this time to gain some coping skills for your anxiety help?

Thank you.

I know that if I am leaving, I won't feel anxious - I suspect what I am really asking (and not expecting anyone to answer) is if I am reacting based on facts or is my anxiety and lack of confidence making me see ghosts that aren't there?

It's almost impossible to know what to do for the best.

I think that if you're seeing or feeling something like this it is real, whether you're prone to anxiety or not.

I took a job (part time thankfully so I was able to return full time to my original job) last year. I handed in my notice after 3 months. If something isn't right and you don't feel safe that's real. My disastrous last teaching job taught me that and I should have listened to my instincts.

I'm this upset and anxious over an email, which is really silly I know.

ilovesooty, you do have me wondering, though, if I am actually right, and I don't want to hang around to be proved correct, of course.

I nearly did this once; I was given my budget on day 1 and told to try and wok out how I could do it without spending too much; in the end it was the best job ever and I was struggling to spend all the money that I had saved by overthinking the 'do it on a budget' line.

Yes, I suppose that's true ...

Will you feel worried about opening emails as a result of the email you had? If so that's not silly at all. It's giving you something to reflect on.

A new job, new school and new school session would be stressful for anyone. Perhaps give it a little longer.
If you decide to go, make sure you can offer a dispassionate explanation to interviewers why it didn't work out.

Along the lines of: 'Predating my appointment there were legitimate disagreements/differences in emphasis between Heads of Department (?) about the scope of the role. These differences were never fully resolved and consequently the role did not develop as I had been led to expect.'

If I published it here (which obviously I won't!) it would look like nothing but there's an undercurrent of disapproval in it that is so hard to express but I 'saw' it; or perhaps I didn't.

You're right ilovesooty; my phone has been buzzing with the usual spam from Groupon and the like and every time I've felt anxious.