To hand my notice in, and worry about the rest later?

[badgergirl82]

Hello. Feel free to talk some sense into me ... Before I start I just want to explain that normally I am a very happy, cheerful, smiley sort of person and I (apparently!) give an outward appearance of being very calm. Someone once said 'I feel as if I am in safe hands with you,' which was lovely.

However, I suspect the truth might be that I'm just very good at masking things and the truth is, I have quite high levels of anxiety, although as I've said, I'm very good at putting on a front of calmness and serenity.

I started a job recently and I have an awful feeling about it. I don't actually think this is just the anxiety, although that is obviously massively exacerbating the feelings I have. I just think it's not right, somehow.

I don't honestly know whether the right thing might be to hand my notice in (obviously working my notice out) conceding that it just wasn't the right move for me and leave with no hard feelings on either side - or if I should battle it out.

Some other info: I have no mortgage but I don't have a partner at present so all other bills need to be paid for by me, and I have one sibling who is disabled and relies quite heavily on me emotionally and financially sometimes.

I'm really, genuinely interested to see what people think - thank you.

If its emphasis is implying blame for something beyond your control ie embedded poor pupil behaviour the writing is on the wall as I see it.

You have a good track record in teaching. Anyone can make the wrong decision when moving jobs. The real damage is caused by ploughing on thinking it's bound to get better.

I think you're probably right, and I am quite scared about what this means.

I have been in a very similar situation to you for the past year. I work at a university and have hated it since I started. The colleague who similarly set me up to fail I've just persevered with being professional too and trying to be friendly with. I'm winning the high moral ground now.

I've seen the year through and whilst it's not got much better I've learned to manage it. A period of stability on my cv is also important for my career so I'll stick it out for another semester. I take a semester at a time knowing I can resign if I need to.

Think through your coping strategies. I suspect they will get you through. :)

Is there anyone senior at work you can talk to about your concerns? If you're prepared to leave anyway then perhaps there's nothing to lose in raising the issues sensitively. Might be a positive outcome and if not, you can leave knowing it was more than just a bad feeling/anxiety.

I worked eighteen months at one job before putting my notice in. The response from a colleague, 'oh good I can have my job back now'. She had been promoted and didn't like her job.

I found out that she and two others had given me a week before they drove me out. Didn't work though!

I would say however go with your instincts. Some very wise comments on here about dealing with the fallout and references.

Having similar problems with anxiety/depression, they can seriously distort you thinking, so that minor things that will pass or be ironed out with a bit of support or negotiation, suddenly seem insurmountable and beyond bearing. On top of that being new is stressful, even if its a role you can do eyes shut, as you often feel with new roles you have to prove your worth.

A couple of times i left contract roles, but now look back and think, it was me & my own anxiety, all it would have taken was being firm and talking to management/renegotiating unfair terms. Give it longer, and ... are you seeing anyone for your anxiety you can at least vent to and have an objective perspective off?

You have a lot on your plate, its sensible to get help for how you feel, or just to get more support if nothing else. Does you disabled sibling have all the support they are entitled to benefit and carer wise , to lessen the emotional and financial burden on you? Are there any support groups for that particular disability and/or their carers online if you google??

It's quite tricky to see what you should do. First I agree that you should seek help for your anxiety. If day to day you are doing a reasonable job and coping at work then I'd say stay for the time being. There are quite often 'undercurrents' in new jobs. That is people annoyed because they thought the job was theirs. people who preferred the person who did the job previously as so on. I agree on the whole with trying a bit longer unless things are unbearable.

You have until the end of October and can hand your notice in then if you want to, but my vote would still be to hand it in now and start looking around.

I had a very bad feeling about a new head teacher at my school after a month. I resigned in October. The months up to Christmas were actually even worse. I took up supply teaching but this person gave me a horrible reference on the basis of 3 months where she almost drove me insane. Fortunately I got good references from previous heads. I have subsequently found out that this woman has driven others out including someone very competent who I never would have imagined would leave.
Think of your mental health OP. That is the most important thing. And supply teaching can lead you into all sorts of new opportunities which include permanent posts. Good Luck. I know what you're going through.

I think that unless you've got a serious financial cushion, a partner willing to support you, or you're working in some industry where people are knocking at your door begging you to work for them, then you'd be foolish to quit without having something else lined up.

It can take a few months to settle in - give it time, keep paper trails on anything that makes you feel uneasy. You've had a rough time over the last two years you say - is this knocking your confidence? Are you self sabotaging?

If after those few months, it's not working for you, make your plans to leave and move on, look for something else but don't quit before you have an offer in hand, signed and sealed.

It looks really bad on your CV to have done this (I interview quite a bit and it's been a red flag for me in the past.)

My feeling too derxa

Unless you've taught you don't realise that giving it a good few months isn't necessarily viable. You can be stuck there a year and be destroyed in that time.

Thank you.

In some ways, it's a bit like leaving a relationship, isn't it - you know it's wrong, but you are so desperate to convince yourself it's okay that you force yourself in.

I won't do anything hasty - a lot will rest on the response to my email - but I am thinking Friday as a deadline for myself to decide whether to give it two terms, or just the one.