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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To take a child out who is off school

38 replies

WitchOfAlba · 17/09/2015 15:12

AIBU to take a child out who has been off school ill with a non-contagious but serious condition? DD is now feeling much better and is chomping at the bit to go out for a while.
We're in a small village so are bound to be seen by teachers etc.

OP posts:
hellhasnofurylikeahungrywoman · 17/09/2015 15:21

I don't think there is a yes or no answer to that as it depends on so many variables.

Gottagetmoving · 17/09/2015 15:27

YANBU if your doctor says that a trip out will do your child good while they are still recovering.
Not being able to go to school does not mean not able to get some fresh air.

Sirzy · 17/09/2015 15:30

Depends when they are due back in and what they have been off with really.

mrstweefromtweesville · 17/09/2015 15:30

If going out won't cause her any harm, take her out.

Sallyhasleftthebuilding · 17/09/2015 15:33

Ive taken them out, they need some air and a change of scenery. Wouldnt worry about teachers, many have had their own children.

Theycallmemellowjello · 17/09/2015 15:40

If she's well enough to go out, surely she's well enough to go to school? Can't you just take her in? It is actually a child's right to go to school, so I think yabu for keeping her off if she doesn't have to be.

Topseyt · 17/09/2015 15:41

We are in a fairly small village too.

Mine were rarely absent and had no ongoing health problems, but on the odd occasion they were off and I needed to go out I would take them with me. This was when they were of primary school age, particularly in the infants. Often we would be seen by teachers or other people from the school, as you just couldn't get away from it.

How old is she? Will you be with her? I would say it is fine to take her out for a change of scenery for a short while if you and she feel up to it. It can do the world of good.

If the school do ask any questions then just be honest with them about what you were doing. She isn't a prisoner in your house.

If she is well on the way to recovery then I presume she will be back at school soon and they have been kept abreast of what is wrong with her anyway.

I know of several children who suffered the odd injury or something like that, and were seen around the village just getting mobile again before going back to school. I also know of two with genetic conditions which sometimes play up and they have to resort to a wheelchair. Similar for them too. I am not aware that there were any problems with it. I once did similar for a day with my youngest when she was 10 and had broken her ankle. We had to spend a day getting crutches (hospital refused to supply) and then letting her spend a few hours getting used to them both out and about. The next day she went back to school.

ilovesooty · 17/09/2015 15:42

Non contagious I don't see why not if it's just to get a bit of fresh air and a change of scenery.

Mrscog · 17/09/2015 15:43

No YANBU, I'm sure your judgement is fine.

theycallmemellow The OP hasn't said what's wrong with her daughter other than a non contagious but serious condition. She could have had chemo, or a severe episode of asthma. I'm sure the OP will be sending her to school as soon as she is meant to go, and I think without knowing the full story your comments are a bit harsh.

SuburbanRhonda · 17/09/2015 15:46

Most children are chomping at the bit when they've off school sick, but the decision should rest with you, not her, as to whether to take her out for some fresh air.

And then I presume she'll be back in tomorrow if she's feeling so much better?

Topseyt · 17/09/2015 15:49

Theycallmemellow, there are a number of non-contagious but serious conditions and/or injuries which may necessitate time off school.

Mrscog has given some examples. I know of others. For example, a child whose condition causes joint problems which flare sometimes, and another with poorly formed hip joints (hip dysplasia). These would worsen over the course of a schoolday if having a flare-up, but do not mean that the child should go stir-crazy seeing just the same four walls for days on end. The odd short outing for fresh air and a change of scenery is fine.

Witchend · 17/09/2015 15:55

Depends on what you're talking about doing.
Shopping, going briefly to the park(as long as it can't be seen by her friends at school) I think is fine. Day at Legoland I'd think was along the lines of if you can manage that you'll be fine at school.

Jinglebells99 · 17/09/2015 15:56

I took my dd out when she was off school because she didn't want to spend the day sitting on the field watching sports day that she wasn't participating in. We went to her brothers presentation and then to New Look where we bumped into the assistant headteacher! :D. She does have very high attendance though.

ilovesooty · 17/09/2015 15:58

That's a ridiculous reason to be off school - not at all like the situation in the OP.

Sirzy · 17/09/2015 15:59

When DS is off with an asthma attack he is often well enough to nip out for half an hour before he is well enough to go back to school and do a full day (he actually often goes back on half days first)

PurpleSkyatthewateringhole · 17/09/2015 16:00

I take mine to a cafe for lunch when ill but recovering. It's a bit of fresh air, a change of scenery and a bit of a pick me up treat. Especially if I can persuade a friend or relative to meet us. Xx

PurpleSkyatthewateringhole · 17/09/2015 16:01

The kisses are from dd who grabbed my phone and posted before I could delete. So unmumsnet.

Original poster
WitchofAlba · 17/09/2015 16:21

Yes, school know why she's off and agree that she needs to be off. Other parents have no idea though and tend to be expert at hoiking judgy pants.

OP posts:
zzzzz · 17/09/2015 16:23

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

colley · 17/09/2015 16:28

My parents used to be tough about this. If you were off ill, you were in bed. If you were well enough to be downstairs watching TV and socialising with the family, you were well enough to be back at school. None of us take time off work for minor illnesses.

ilovesooty · 17/09/2015 16:33

Well colley the OP didn't say this was a minor illness did she? She described it as a serious condition.

colley · 17/09/2015 16:37

Yes and I didn't say what the OP should do because none of us have any idea what the illness is. Simply talking about my parents approach.
Only the OP can say whether she is BU or not. Although plenty of children do go to school with serious illnesses, it is very individual.

DoJo · 17/09/2015 16:40

My parents used to be tough about this. If you were off ill, you were in bed. If you were well enough to be downstairs watching TV and socialising with the family, you were well enough to be back at school. None of us take time off work for minor illnesses.

Presumably you and your family were lucky enough never to suffer from chronic conditions which made it difficult to join in normal life but would have had you missing out on large portions of your childhood if you were confined to your bed every time you were unable to go to school.

CatThiefKeith · 17/09/2015 16:43

I would say it's fine, but then I grew up with a parent who once took me to the zoo when I was off ill with whooping cough (He made me wear a plasterers mask) and then we bumped into the entire year above me on a school trip! Grin

colley · 17/09/2015 16:50

DoJo - No actually there is a serious genetic illness that runs in our family.

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