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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To take a child out who is off school

38 replies

WitchOfAlba · 17/09/2015 15:12

AIBU to take a child out who has been off school ill with a non-contagious but serious condition? DD is now feeling much better and is chomping at the bit to go out for a while.
We're in a small village so are bound to be seen by teachers etc.

OP posts:
NaughtToThreeSadOnions · 17/09/2015 16:57

Yes colley as the op has said serious condition your parents or your attitude to minor illnesses is irrellvent! I'm presuming you do know the difference between serious and minor?!

Just to add my voice too the children can be up and mobile and seem well enough to be out but that doesn't mean they should be at school. My friends child had very bad accident over the summer holidays, ended up with pins in his upper arm. My friend phoned the school on the inset day explained the situation, as the hospital had said it was fine for him to return as long as the arm didn't get bumped. Fine the school said. My friend takes him to school, on the first day back, carries on to work, five miles down the road my friend gets a phone call, "can you come back and collect your lad, we can't have him on the premises with his arm like this."

So colley and theycall, well enough to be at school told by medical professionals that it's fine but the school refuse him access? Was my friend unreasonable for turning round and collecting the child when the schools insurance wouldn't have covered the child if something had happened?! What should he have done when he picked his son up made him go to bed and lie in the dark when he wanted to go to school!

Sorry op, just annoyed at those two responses, honestly as the school are aware I wouldn't worry about hoiky pants parents, your child isn't playing sick, she needs fresh air and the cabin fever will make both you and her short tempered.

colley · 17/09/2015 17:00

Naught - Read my responses. I said that nobody but the OP can say if she is BU or not, as only she knows her DCs medical history.

BrieAndChilli · 17/09/2015 17:05

Ds1 is currently off school
Following emergency surgery for a burst appendix. Surgeon told us he has to have 4 weeks off school.
We are in the 2nd week and is well
Enough to be up and about, appears fine etc so I took him to
A coding class last night and half way through he was breathe less and very tired so we went home

So although he appears fine now and would be OK to pop to the shops with me he's not well enough to be at school for 6 hours.

NaughtToThreeSadOnions · 17/09/2015 17:10

So your post was irrellvent then wasn't it! And saying your parents were hard on this implys that it's the same situation and she should be too!

Goldmandra · 17/09/2015 17:18

I wouldn't worry about what anybody thinks.

Take her out. If a teacher sees her, they see her.

Nobody is going to tell you that she should be in school just because she is able to leave the house.

You are an adult and her parent. Nobody has the right to question your decisions just because they see you out somewhere.

Have confidence in your right to make decisions about your own child's well being.

DoJo · 17/09/2015 17:30

DoJo - No actually there is a serious genetic illness that runs in our family.

In that case I think it is very sad that they would deny children the chance to have as normal a life as possible just to impose a relatively arbitrary rule which would have them languishing away in bed rather than doing whatever they felt they could manage. Having had to have a lot of time off school as a child, I would have missed out on an awful lot if I was confined to bed for weeks at a time, not to mention that it would probably have made my health worse to be inactive rather than building up strength by doing things that I could manage.

ProudAS · 17/09/2015 17:57

There is no one size fits all answer. I don't think the OP is BU from what I have read.

GoblinLittleOwl · 17/09/2015 18:25

Notify the school before you take her out; if it is for more than fresh air and exercise, you would be foolish to do it. Of course you will be seen.

MrsGentlyBenevolent · 17/09/2015 18:26

I have a family memeber with a genetic condition. They're often off school, but obviously other aspects of life cannot stop. So I don't think yabu op - unless the activity can make your child feel worse.

Speaking of which - Brie, very suprised to hear you son went to coding class after many advised you it may be too soon after his operation. Hope he's feeling better today, at least.

SquinkiesRule · 17/09/2015 19:14

If my child had a serious condition that made them miss school and as they recovered they were well enough to go out for a short time, I'd take them out. Making them stay in seems like they are being punished for being ill.
As kids we stayed in bed or lay on the couch watching TV, but we didn't have anything serious, just the usual childhood bugs and stuff.

Figamol · 17/09/2015 19:19

Yes yes yes. Take her out, fresh air, mummy time and lots of smiles. Lifes too short, make sure she's 100% before she's back in a stuffy room. And most teachers I know are usually glad of a few less kids every now and then ;)

WitchofAlba · 17/09/2015 19:25

We went out, predictably we saw lots of school staff and friends. She's better for some fresh air but not better enough to eat dinner. Actually, she's probably ill because she's voluntarily gone and done her homework Grin

OP posts:
NotMeNotYouNotAnyone · 17/09/2015 20:21

If she was off with common childhood illnesses like cough cold d&v etc I'd say ywbu but it doesn't sound like that's the case.

You, the doctor and school know your child and her condition and what she can and can't do, yanbu to listen to them and to your own judgement.

I was signed off with depression and anxiety and carried on going out as normal because it would've made me worse to stay home all day. My friend is currently off with a back problem that means she can't do her job but she can still pop out and about and she's been to work lunches and stuff so not hiding what she can do.

Hope dd is better soon and that you enjoy some time out

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