To expect grown ups to know about stuff?!!!!

[Figamol]

On finding out my son was autistic (not at the school) my other DS class mums said:

'oh thats cool, cos they're all super intelligent, like the rainman'
'oh he doesn't look it' (what does autism look like exactly, are you implying I'm not telling you the truth?!!!)
'oh mine are definitely autistic as they always want their coats fastened a certain way'

I mean really?!!! AIBU a) to go all out on a rant at them b) to expect these mums, and we're talking wealthy educated people to actually pay attention to whats going on in the world around them, and not just where to buy their next porsche?!!

That feels better :) :) :)

The thing is everyone is ignorant about something, I'm pretty sure you are as well op. However there is always the opportunity to learn. Those people might be off the track but you had the opportunity to correct them.

I actually think that it could come across as quite rude and intrusive to ask a lot of questions about a medical condition that someone you don't know well tells you about. So I think that it's unsurprising that not everyone feels comfortable doing that, and doesn't make them stupid or something. I think autism is a particularly tough one as there is a popular school of thought that sees it as just part of a person's personality, not a negative trait - so they may feel that it would be politically incorrect to sympathise as they would if it were an illness. The comments you got were insensitive and rude though. Hopefully they didn't come from a horrible place - I can see them being blurted out by someone who is embarrassed panicking about what to say. People can get very embarrassed when you bring up misfortune. I used to get teary randomly for a couple of years after a bereavement, so used to have to explain why - people often clearly did not know what to say and were embarrassed. I don't think it meant they were horrible though. YANBU to feeling ranting about these comments however.