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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To suggest DH gets a taxi

52 replies

sleepy11 · 16/09/2015 17:57

DH has a minor op on Friday and has to be at hospital for 7am.
I need to be at home for getting kids ready for school so he asked his mother for a lift - this was before we knew the 7am arrival time.
I told her today that as it has to be 7am thay he will get a taxi as I don't think he should expect his mum to get up before 6am to give him a lift. He is now in a huff.
What the hell is wrong with a taxi? He's not ill or anything, it's a cyst removal!
Was I BU to tell her not to worry about the lift?

OP posts:
JennyOnAPlate · 16/09/2015 17:58

Is he nervous about the op and wanting his mum with him for support?

goawayalready · 16/09/2015 18:00

nothing wrong with a taxi but does his mom mind getting up at the crack of dawn?

whois · 16/09/2015 18:00

Is he nervous about the op and wanting his mum with him for support?

For a cyst removal? I should hope he doesn't need his mummy for that.

Yes he can and should take a taxi, asking his mum for a lift at that time is crazy.

JennyOnAPlate · 16/09/2015 18:05

whois I'm a nervous wreck when it comes to hospitals due to previous experiences...I would need support if I had to go even if it was just a cyst removal.

Original poster
sleepy11 · 16/09/2015 18:06

They are not a particularly 'hold me I'm scared' type of family so I doubt he especially wants her there!
She agreed that it was pretty early to be giving lifts.
Just can't see the difference in a lift from one person or a taxi?! It's not like I asked him to bloody walk!

OP posts:
ginmakesitallok · 16/09/2015 18:07

But it wasn't up to you to change his travel plans? It's not up to you to decide how he gets there?

Original poster
sleepy11 · 16/09/2015 18:08

Also she wasn't going to go in with him - can't see how much support it would have given him to be booted out in the car park!

OP posts:
Original poster
sleepy11 · 16/09/2015 18:10

gin she was over early today for school run so he could have his pre op - I'm not happy to look as though I will happily take advantage of her!

OP posts:
TheFairyCaravan · 16/09/2015 18:10

It's not your place to tell his mum not to take him.

My DH has taken me to the hospital for 7am before, when the kids were small, gone back home fed them and taken them to school.

YABU.

MistressChalk · 16/09/2015 18:11

I'm sure if it was too early for her she would have told him that herself and he could have made other arrangements. I'd be pretty annoyed if DP cancelled a lift for me from my mother to go to hospital and told me to get a taxi instead. Also surgery of any kind can be daunting for anyone, he might have appreciated having a family member there without saying as much. A taxi ride over an hour long on your own would be miserable on the way to an operation let alone expensive.

ginmakesitallok · 16/09/2015 18:11

But you're not taking advantage? He's her son, I'm sure she'd be happy to help out.

Original poster
sleepy11 · 16/09/2015 18:12

I'm not getting kids up at 6am on a school day cos he's too tight to get a cab!
Lucky that your hospital seems so easy to get to!

OP posts:
Original poster
sleepy11 · 16/09/2015 18:15

She was happy til I told her the time! I did say that earlier on!
His journey will be about 20 mins, it's the added journey from her house that will have her up so early which I think is unfair on her!

OP posts:
BertrandRussell · 16/09/2015 18:17

His mum might want to give him a lift! Why on earth didn't you leave well alone?

LieselVonTwat · 16/09/2015 18:17

I think you should've stayed out of it. YABU.

wankerchief · 16/09/2015 18:17

I'd be happy to help out my son, as would my parents.

UnderTheGreenwoodTree · 16/09/2015 18:17

I think I would have spoken to DH first, and let him sort it out tbh... I'd be pretty cross if DH interfered in arrangements between me & my mum.

You are right - it's a lot to drag his mum out that early - but it wasn't your call to make.

TheFairyCaravan · 16/09/2015 18:18

No it wasn't sleepy, but my kids didn't suffer from getting up at 6am once every now and again.

I go to another hospital now for 7am frequently, very often there are kids there in school uniforms dropping off one parent or another.

Not all of us are lucky enough to have family nearby who can step in.

MrsTerryPratchett · 16/09/2015 18:21

I hate taxis and if my Mum was happy to take me, then I wouldn't tell her not to. I also wouldn't get in the middle of DH and his DF working stuff out. I don't know why you are getting in the middle of this. Not you job to work out if he is taking the piss with his own DM.

HappyMeerkat · 16/09/2015 18:33

Whois

i have major white coat syndrome and am incredibly anxious around hospitals even if i'm not going to the hospital myself. surely it doesn't matter what the reason he is there for? if somebody is nervous or anxious, they are so

Spartans · 16/09/2015 18:34

Yabu, because it wasn't up to you to sort out. It was up to your dh and his mum. I would be really pissed off if dh stuck his nose into my arrangements. If he said to me 'it's a bit early for you mum don't you think' I wouldnt mind.

But home jumping in would piss me off.

PurpleHairAndPearls · 16/09/2015 18:38

You should have let him sort it, or at least check with him.

Btw, I once ordered a taxi for surgery I had been waiting for which had already been cancelled three times for various reasons. We knew the driver so didn't think it was a risk, he forgot and couldn't get anyone else there in time, luckily the hospital moved me to afternoon as they had a cancellation...but bear it in mind!

Spartans · 16/09/2015 18:41

him jumping in

FantasticButtocks · 16/09/2015 18:47

There's nothing wrong with a taxi, but why take over? this was not your arrangement to rearrange. Perhaps he's in a huff because you interfered. YABU to tell his mum he'd get a taxi when you could have just suggested this reasonable solution to him, and he could have decided for himself what to do. I don't think I'd take very kindly to someone taking charge of me like this.

Original poster
sleepy11 · 16/09/2015 18:47

Jeez, last time I try and be considerate of the MIL! Hmm

OP posts: