Fancy dress out of the house

[PegsPigs]

DH and I would like MN to rule on this.

DD2.5 loves wearing 'princess dresses'. We have a few we've accumulated at home that she dresses up in most of the time we're at home. She loves going to toddler groups where she can dress up and is disappointed if we go somewhere that doesn't have a box. Our rule is that she can wear it in the house but has to take it off when we go out. There's been a few arguments in the past but she knows the rule and takes it off before we leave. The main reasons we don't let her wear it out are: it'll get damaged and they're not cheap, it'll get dirty and they're a bugger to clean, they're bloody flammable (Claudia Winkleman's daughter's accident for example) & she has lots of nice dresses which aren't fancy dress which she can wear.

However, we often go to places and there are other girls in fancy dress: Elsa, fairy outfits, Snow White outfits etc. She thinks the dress is for sharing and hangs around waiting for it to be her turn to wear it. I have to explain to her it's the other girl's outfit and not for sharing. She is obsessed though and just stares at the girl/s no matter how much I try and distract her.

We went to an event on Sunday where two sisters were dressed as princesses (no particular reason just presumably they wanted to). I asked my DD what her favourite part of the event was (lots of activities). She said 'the princesses'. We went to a drop in dance class on Monday where a girl dressed as a fairy and DD didn't watch the teacher or join in much as she was staring at the girl. I asked if she enjoyed the dancing and she said 'the little girl was a fairy princess in her own outfit' (how I'd explained why she couldn't wear it). I told DH the story and we agreed other parents letting their children wear these costumes out of the house makes it difficult for us to not let ours. Double standards etc when she finally understands that.

So my AIBU is: AIBU to wish other parents didn't let their children wear fancy dress costumes outside of the house (except for fancy dress parties)? Pretty sure I'll hear 'other parents can do what they like' or 'let her wear it out, big deal if it gets trashed she'll learn' so am prepared for a flaming. Just wondered if it peed other people off too?

[Bellebella]

No i don't think you are reasonable in suggesting other parents refuse to let their child not wear their fancy dress just because you don't want your daughter wearing them.

Not sure what other reaction you realistically expect.

[NorksAreMessy]

Could you allocate one dress that you are happy for her to wear 'out'

[SistersOfPercy]

Yanbu
You are a small person with a big imagination for a vanishingly small amount of time. My friends little boy was spiderman daily until he was six. I think he'd still probably love to spend the day as him now but it's frowned on in his office.
Id love to go to Tesco as Elsa. Let her enjoy it whilst she can.

[Birdsgottafly]

Can't you buy cheaper versions that she can wear?

I can't help feeling that you're giving her the message that you change what you want to wear because others may judge you, as little as she is.

All mine wore Fancy Dress etc outside the house, I can still remember the nightmare of them trying to walk in the shoes that matched and my youngest is eighteen.

[SistersOfPercy]

Or even yabu. Can't believe my phone corrects that!

[Birdsgottafly]

I also think that YABU for thinking that you are 100% right and other Parents 100% wrong.

People have different ways of parenting, you're going to have to accept that.

[ginmakesitallok]

Yabu. If you can't wear a princess dress round the supermarket when you're 2 when can you?

[Alanna1]

I don't really understand why you don't just let her wear the fancy dress dresses outside the house?? That's what I do. Yes they aren't cheap but they also aren't that expensive and you can buy more cheaply in ebay/from china in aliexpress etc. Mine wash OK in a delicates bag. She's only little once! - let her dress up if she wants? Good luck.

[Haggisfish]

Yabu. Sorry, but I let dd wear pretty much what she wants most of the time. If they are not cheap, they shouldn't be flammable. If you are concerned about that, make sure you get ones that conform to eu standards.

[Junosmum]

I'm with gin. If not now then when.

[Twolefttoes]

Sorry but yabu. If my ds wants to go out in fancy dress, I never say no. I am very aware that there is a very short time frame in his life where he will want to.

[LittleMissStubborn]

My big 2 never wore fancy dress out of the house (unless for parties), it was for in the house, no need etc.

Then #3 came, battles and wars with her since the day she came out so that kid is probably mine and I am just grateful we are out the house. (It doesn't happen often though, she doesn't really like dressing up)

So sorry my 3rd has taught me that sadly yabu

[Haggisfish]

You can get great quality ones at tkmaxx for same price as crappier supermarket ones.

[catzpyjamas]

Seriously, if you can't go out dressed as a princess at 5 years old, when can you??
YANBU to wish other parents didn't allow it but YABU to expect them to change so that your DD is not upset.

[rainpouringrainbows]

Not unreasonable to wish it!

Poor little girl, it's hard for them to understand, but fair enough to stick to what you believe. Otherwise, where does it stop?

Mine are not allowed crisps/ cola/ sweets even if they see other kids eating them. (In my home, they are for parties only, not an everyday snack). I have stopped them from jumping on sofas, and running riots when others were doing it and the parents didn't care. The little ones are puzzled when they can't follow others, but that's what it is I am afraid.

They are not allowed to steal somebody else toy, just because it's a Peppa Pig or a Fireman Sam. It's not mean, they all need boundaries.

[latika]

My son left the house frequently in fireman, army, buzz lightyear, Spider-Man outfits when he was little. Never felt the need to restrict it. Loved the fat that he was using his imagination and would be 'in character'

[latika]

Fact not fat!!

[BathshebaDarkstone]

DS went to his birthday party outside the house dressed as Iron Man, DD went to hers also outside the house dressed as Elsa. The only place they aren't allowed to go in dressing up clothes is school. What's the problem with her wearing dressing up clothes outside the house? YABU for expecting other parents to follow your weird rules.

[Pedestriana]

We get cheap fancy dress things from the local charity shops. Outside of school, DD can wear them whenever she wishes.
Mind you, the way I dress, people probably think I'm in fancy dress too.

[catzpyjamas]

Sorry misread the OP as 5 not 2.5.
Even more unreasonable at 2 years old!!!

[PegsPigs]

It really isn't about what others think. I am so proud and delighted about her amazingly imaginative ways she puts together outfits even though she looks ridiculous; she enjoys it and that makes me happy.

But she's 2 and would trash them because they really are poorly made, cheap things and I've never seen or found a decent quality one. Some say not to wash them which is clearly not possible but they do look the worse for it. If she wasn't able to wear one because it was trashed it would be tantrums forever as she has the memory of an elephant. And they really aren't practical to wear to the park as she fell off a step when the maxi dress she has got caught under her shoe.

[poocatcherchampion]

I think fancy dress is horrible. I'd be trying to discourage by getting rid of a few at home.

But if you want me to answer the actual question. Yabu.

Some people I know let their children wear fancy dress to church which I think is just . Rant rant

[DisappointedOne]

Christ. Poor kid. DD (4) spent the entire weekend in princess dresses, including during a visit to a castle. They can go in the wash you know.

[Haggisfish]

Really!? I think god wouldn't mind what children wore-he could see past that to their innocent souls.

[fastdaytears]

WTAF? You want other parents to stop their children wearing fancy dress out of the house because of a rule you've made for your DD?