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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Nearly hit a child, WIBU to tell her off?

56 replies

mileend2bermondsey · 13/09/2015 17:26

So I was travelling on a busy 30mph road crossing a T junction on a slight bend. There was a big gap between me and any cars infront so presumably the girl thought there was no cars coming so safe to cross. As I rounded the bend I see the girl on a scooter dart out across the road. I slammed my brakes on and stopped approx 10ft in front of her. Very scary for both parties. She moved to the middle of the road where there is a pedestrian island kind of thing and my window was already rolled down so I pulled closer to her and said in what I think was a sympathetic tone. 'Darling, you shouldn't cross the road untill the green light comes on (she was at a pedestrian crossing). Its very dangerous, you could have been hit by a car just then. You need to be more careful.' She just stared at me wide eyed I tink she was in a bit of shock and I carried on along the road.

This girl looked about 8 and there was no adults around, tbh I was shocked anyone would allow her to cross such a busy road alone.

I told my mum about it and she said I should have just driven away, that the poor girl was probably terrified about nearly being knocked over and I shouldn't have said anything to her. WIBU to say something to her?

OP posts:
StarlingMurmuration · 13/09/2015 17:30

No, YWNBU, I think. If it terrified her, it might make her more wary next time. Better to be upset because you shouted this time, than dead next time. It's not like you gave her a bollocking anyway.

Gatehouse77 · 13/09/2015 17:37

No, I'd have said something too.

It the fear of speaking to other people, reprimanding unsupervised children that has, in my opinion, been one of the causes of the breakdown of 'Big Society'.

Pobspits · 13/09/2015 17:37

Yanbu. Exact same thing happened to me but with a 6 year old (I know because he's at school 2 miles away with my dc!) and I stopped and said I wasn't angry but he really needs to be more careful.

Idefix · 13/09/2015 17:43

Yanbu op I would have said something too.

coffeeisnectar · 13/09/2015 18:15

Yadnbu. I nearly hit a child who ran out between parked cars once, he was refusing to go to his dad, dad was shouting "come here!" And child decided to just run across the road. I literally missed him by inches and was going quite slow as lots of kids about. I shouted out the window across the road to the child "that was incredibly stupid, I nearly hit you". His dad then started having a go at me and said I shouldn't tell his son off. I replied that it's better for me to be shouting at him than for his son to be scraped off the road and maybe he should keep better control of his child in future. I was fuming. I actually could feel my heart pounding as it was such a close call.

exoticjuicedrink · 13/09/2015 18:19

I would have said something too.

fredfredgeorgejnrsnr · 13/09/2015 18:38

There's a pedestrian crossing on a blind bend?

Seems unlikely, as it would be against traffic regs, where is it?

BarbarianMum · 13/09/2015 18:42

OP said 'slight bend' and "pedestrian island" HTH

Original poster
mileend2bermondsey · 13/09/2015 18:43

slight bend = blind bend ?
yeah ok. But thanks for your useful contribution anyway.

OP posts:
Iliveinalighthousewiththeghost · 13/09/2015 18:47

Before I opened this thread. I thought you were going to say , you screamed and shouted at her. You didn't even tell her off, you just spoke to her about the importance of road safety.

SealSong · 13/09/2015 18:55

Oh god I had this situation once. It was terrifying. A little girl darted out from between parked cars right in front of me on a busy urban A road once. She had been completely hidden between the cars - I had no idea she was there - and was on her own, and must have been aged around six. I banged the brakes on and she froze in fear in the road in front of me staring at my car. I screeched to a halt just feet from her. I really thought I was going to hit her. If I had hit her she would have been dead. I was going just under 30. Once I had halted she just ran off across the road. I was a shaking wreck the rest of the day. Uuurgh it still haunts me.

brokenhearted55a · 13/09/2015 18:56

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

AGreatBigWorld · 13/09/2015 18:58

Over forty years ago a member of my family had a child run out from behind the back of a school bus. He bounced right over the bonnet of her car and landed with a thud the other side. Luckily he was alright but the memory has stayed with her and she slows down almost to a stop near all buses now!!

sleepy11 · 13/09/2015 19:00

I'd have done the same - well, actually I would probably have yelled at her for being so stupid (not clever I know but the shock would make me angry I think!) so don't blame you!
I agree with a PP that people are far too reluctant to say anything to other people's kids and kids these days know it...

Original poster
mileend2bermondsey · 13/09/2015 19:00

There was a big gap in cars and a bend, why didnt you slow right down

What a bizzare thing to ask. Why on Earth would I slow down just because there were no cars in front of me? I was going under the speed limit. Shall I just crawl around at 20mph everywhere in case unsuspecting children are planning on throwing theirseleves across the road?

I don't know what your post is supposed to add to things tbh?

OP posts:
MiaowTheCat · 13/09/2015 19:01

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Fluffyears · 13/09/2015 19:03

My dad did hit a young child, he was driving on a busy 30mph road and she literally darted out two inches from his car. Despite an emergency stop she was knocked over. Luckily she wan't injured apart from shock and bruising. I think my dad was worse off as he was a nervous wreck.

SoupDragon · 13/09/2015 19:05

There was a big gap in cars and a bend, why didnt you slow right down?

That makes absolutely no sense whatsoever!

vienna1981 · 13/09/2015 19:06

I don't know if road safety is taught in primary schools now but it certainly was in my day (forty years since I started at primary schoolShock). It was in the guise of a smart arse squirrel called Tufty and his Furryfolk sidekicks. In retrospect rather irritating but on the plus side maybe saved a lot of lives.

brokenhearted55a · 13/09/2015 19:07

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

AGreatBigWorld · 13/09/2015 19:07

And have just remembered when i was 8 months pregnant with ds2 and DH was driving me to work. He saw some children on scooters in a garden and slowed down and thank goodness he did as a little boy shot out and disapperared under the front of the car!!!
Luckily DH had stopped in time! I got out of the car screaming and the child emerged from under the car screaming!! The mother of said child came out and thought i was going to have the baby in her garden!

SoupDragon · 13/09/2015 19:08

It is rare indeed for a pedestrian to be found more responsible than a driver unless the pedestrian has suddenly moved into the path of an oncoming vehicle..

brokenhearted this is a direct quote from the case you suggested the OP googled.

3littlefrogs · 13/09/2015 19:14

A friend of mine hit a child who ran out from between parked cars.

She wasn't going very fast, but he ran right under the wheels of the car and was killed. His mother was chatting to someone and not watching him.

Awful tragedy. Sad

MeepyMupp · 13/09/2015 19:22

One of my earliest memories of infant school was when a classmate was killed playing 'catch' between cars.

She was playing with another down her residential street next to her home and ran out from between park cars as she was so caught up in the game. Instantly hit by a car doing speed limit that had no chance to stop as she just darted out of nowhere so suddenly. She was 5. It was terrible and I still remember it to this day years later.

In the OP's situation maybe the child will now realise how dangerous it was and she could of been hit and killed. On the school run I see this type of thing almost happen regularly when kids are on scooters zipping down the pavement and verve into side of road or zip across without think when the parents are a way off. It makes me nervous.

Well done OP I think you did the correct thing and handled it well by giving her an explanation in a calm and concerned way.

BoomBoomsCousin · 13/09/2015 19:35

YANBU exactly, I but I think it was probably pointless. Your mum was right that the girl was probably terrified, I doubt what you said had any impact. I can see why you did it though.

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