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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to be pissed off with people

32 replies

WitchOfAlba · 13/09/2015 15:09

I've taken part in a fund raising event for a hospice recently, I set up a Just Giving page, i told my friends and family about it, I shared it on my FB and twitter page.

Total raised? £0. I'm so embarrassed and so pissed off. I wouldn't mind but people suggested I do it as they thought it'd be a good way to raise some money.

OP posts:

OwlinaTree · 13/09/2015 15:10

Did anyone sponsor you or donate away from the page?

Blackcloudsbrightsky · 13/09/2015 15:11

Ah, that's rubbish. Are you in a position where you can directly ask people for some money?

GhostofFrankGrimes · 13/09/2015 15:12

I think people tend to avoid "serious" stuff on Facebook TBH. No excuse for friends and family though even if its a nominal amount.

Original poster

WitchOfAlba · 13/09/2015 15:21

No, no donations at all of any kind.

OP posts:

thecatsarecrazy · 13/09/2015 15:28

I think the trouble is there are so many if these set up nowadays. I know its for a good cause but some e.g I have seen:
Someone's b.f was in an accident and needed a stay in hospital away from home and she was asking for money to stay in a hotel...
Someone wanted to buy a new cooker for an old lady
And a cat got ran over and needed an op on its leg.
I tried to donate £2 to one where a man wanted to raise some money for his wife and children before he passed and if said I couldn't donate less than a fiver.

usual · 13/09/2015 15:31

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

LunchpackOfNotreDame · 13/09/2015 15:33

I've got full on 'sponsor me' fatigue. Mainly due to people going on holiday doing these big things like climbing everest. So I don't sponsor anyone now. I suspect a lot are like me

Original poster

WitchOfAlba · 13/09/2015 15:46

It's just so annoying that people persuaded me to do it and then didn't donate. If they hadn't gone on about how it'd would be a good thing to do etc then I wouldn't have bothered. It's like I was set up to fail.

OP posts:

CurlyhairedAssassin · 13/09/2015 15:53

I agree. People have sponsorship fatigue nowadays. When I was a kid in the 80s, the only charity stuff going on was a sponsored spell once a year at school, a Barnardos and Christian Aid envelope drop through people's letterbox once a year, and now and again you'd see a couple of bucket rattlers in the high street.

Then there was the first telethon, an idea which came from America, I think. Eventually morphed into Children In Need, and then add to that Red Nose Day and now there is Sport Aid too it's there? Along with that in the 80s was Live Aid which was fine as was a one off, but it just seemed that charity events absolutely ballooned from that point towards the end of the 80s. I remember taking part in the first Race for Life which I think was part of the whole Live Aid thing. Was originally a one off. Don't think it was anything to do with cancer fund raising. Who would have thought that years later there would be a run in aid of something nearly every month? And then the Internet arrived with online payments etc.

You can't blame people when they're almost constantly bombarded by this stuff these days. I work in a school and have school age kids and there is always fund raising going on . I always try to give to these, but don't have a bottomless pit of money and so consequently only rarely donate to JustGiving things that are not part of the schools' activities. I always give to humanitarian disasters. And DH and I give monthly to our chosen charities. But yes, the JustGiving requests are overwhelming and on the whole I ignore them. Doesn't make me an evil cow, when I give a few hundred quid a year to charity via other methods. To be honest I wish there were fewer sponsored Run for This and Race for That events. They are 10 a penny. And now these daft Colour Runs where everybody gets pelted with coloured powder. I just don't see the need, and it makes a right mess of parks etc, plus all the rubbish it creates.

That said, OP, I would have thought your closest friends and family would have given you something.

What was the event?

ThroughThickAndThin01 · 13/09/2015 16:00

People are sponsorship fatigued. They are always being asked to donate left right and centre.

Could you give some money yourself?

If I do anything for charity, I tend to just donate a set amount myself.

catfordbetty · 13/09/2015 16:04

I'd be most disappointed with my family - email/text them with a gentle reminder and the Just Giving link.

CurlyhairedAssassin · 13/09/2015 16:24

Yes, ThroughThick, I do think we should go back to the old days of everyone giving directly themselves. I don't see the need for the "middle man" who does a sponsored event and expects people to donate on his/her behalf.

People could still use the Internet to publicise charities close to their heart. Just stop sitting in baths of beans. Donate the tins to the food bank instead.

5Foot5 · 13/09/2015 16:40

I think the OP is right to be a bit pissed off with the friends / family who encouraged her to do this event and did not then donate. In this case I think it would be appropriate for her to speak to those people directly and say how disappointed she was by their response given that they had supported the idea to begin with.

In general though I agree with the "sponsorship-fatigue" POV and would prefer to quietly donate to a good cause without there having to be lots of ballyhoo and special events surrounding it.

Several years ago I worked for a company where some bright spark decided on a fund-raising event for Comic Relief. The idea was that people would form teams and pay a fiver to participate in some god-awful novelty race that would almost certainly mean making a right tit of yourself in front of all your colleagues. They only got a small number of teams - mainly from the sales and marketing types. Most people from IT recoiled in horror and wouldn't have anything to do with it. Afterwards some dickhead was having a general rant about how poor the response was when it was "for charity". FFS - we were not mean people and if they had just passed around a bucket for donations or had a raffle or something they would have raised loads. But, no, it's not enough to reach in to your purse you have to subject yourself to ritual humiliation as well if it is a really worth while cause.

jeee · 13/09/2015 16:54

I think it depends on the event. If it's seeing Machu Picchu or walking the Great Wall of China, or even a parachute jump, I'd place it firmly in the self-indulgent category, and wouldn't sponsor you. And my non-committal, 'that'd be nice' response that I'd given you when you were looking for approval wouldn't have been a promise of sponsorship.

Osolea · 13/09/2015 16:57

What did you do? I think people expect you to do something properly challenging before they will donate, and it also helps if you have a personal connection to the charity.

Original poster

WitchOfAlba · 13/09/2015 20:32

I did a midnight walk for a local hospice that looked after my MIL.

OP posts:

Osolea · 13/09/2015 21:19

Then YANBU to be pissed off, I'd expect family and close friends to make a donation considering that it was for a charity that looked after a family member.

Well done for doing it. It might be worth posting any pictures you took on the night with another link.

3littlefrogs · 13/09/2015 21:35

I agree that people do suffer from sponsorship fatigue.

Also - Just Giving do take a percentage of donations and some people feel they prefer to donate directly to the organisation.

JeffsanArsehole · 13/09/2015 21:38

If have donated instead of sending flowers to a funeral and I would have given you money if you directly asked me at work/social event

I wouldn't click on a just giving link as I don't think a walk at night is a 'thing'. Sorry if that's really blunt

johnImonlydancing · 13/09/2015 22:18

I agree, I'm afraid - sponsorship fatigue. I am sure yours was a good cause, but I get so many of these via fb etc. I'm not well off and prefer to choose the causes I donate to, myself.
I was particularly annoyed by a round robin email from a teenage boy I have met maybe once, who I know comes from an extremely privileged family, wanting sponsorship to go and build a school in India or similar. He is really very well off (I knew his dad via a shared interest group - the email came from his dad's account, obviously BCCd to all contacts) and this is just something to bulk up his CV before he goes off to the inevitable excellent uni and great job via his dad's connections. There were plenty of opportunities for him to do community work closer to home (I knwo the city he lives in, have lived there myself and it has lots of problems), but obviously this was more fun. I think this kind of essentially self serving gap year has had its day.

janethegirl2 · 13/09/2015 22:22

Id much prefer to give you£10 than do it through a website. I do not ever give credit card details online, and I'm sure I'm not the last of the dinosaurs

Witchend · 13/09/2015 22:27

I don't do just giving as they take a cut. What I do is if I want to support the charity I send the money directly.

notquitehuman · 13/09/2015 23:00

It's tricky, because I just see so many of these things. I tend to sponsor if it's something challenging like a long run or triathlon, but I simply can't keep up with friends who do the race for life/walks/dryathlons.

I assume you paid an entrance fee, so at least that would go to the charity. And it's all good publicity.

sproketmx · 13/09/2015 23:01

If I'm honest, I don't do just giving pages. If someone approaches me with a good old sponsor form il give them a few quid but I just can't get my head around the techie stuff

pinkdelight · 13/09/2015 23:22

I've heard that you have to ask/remind people three times before they get their finger out and donate. People are busy and forget or can't be arsed to do it right then. If you gently and charmingly nudge then you should at least get something from those closest to you. Beyond that, people have to be smarter with their fundraising now, hold sales/events where people get something for their money. Everyone's strapped and people keep asking. It gets draining.

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