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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

About DS recovery from burst appendix

30 replies

BrieAndChilli · 13/09/2015 14:48

Last Tuesday DS 1 (age 8) had emergency surgery to remove his appendix which they found had burst once they got in to look at it.
He has obviously been in a lot of pain and came out of hospital on the day afternoon.
The surgeon told us to keep him off school for 4 weeks and physical activity for 6 as it was a particularly nasty appendix, worst he has seen for ages.
He's on 2 lots of antibiotics and although a lot better today and can walk (although slightly hunched over) and is only occasionally in strong pain if he moves too quickly. But otherwise he is well and chatty and eating well.

Me and DH have been clashing over whether he should be doing things
For example
We were supposed to be going to cinema today and DH reckoned he was fine to go, DS is booked into a coding class at the library on Wednesday evening 2 hours which DH is refusing to cancel as says he fine to go,
I on the other hand think if he is fine to sit in a library then there's not much difference between that and sitting in school for a few hours and so the surgeon wouldn't have said keep him off for so long

Who is being unreasonable? Should I be letting go out and about like that or am I right that he should be co ole telly resting even if he feels OK?

OP posts:

Original poster

BrieAndChilli · 13/09/2015 14:49

he came out Thursday
totally resting

OP posts:

MrsGentlyBenevolent · 13/09/2015 14:52

It's not even been a week, he's had a particular bad appendix op, and he needs 4-6 weeks recovery. Of course your husband is unreasonable. One of my siblings had exactly the same (very slightly older). They couldn't move for the first week, got tired very easily for a good while after. Let your child recover, for goodness sake, he's been through a horrid thing.

BlueMoonRising · 13/09/2015 14:57

Surely your DS would be able to say if he felt up to it? What does he think?

RachelZoe · 13/09/2015 14:57

No, he has had major abdominal surgery, your DH is being an arse.

My DH is a plastic surgeon and has had many an emergency call from patients who didn't do what he said and ended up doing further damage. Doctors orders are doctors orders.

He needs to be at home totally resting and recovery.

BlueMoonRising · 13/09/2015 14:59

I would say though that there is a difference between a one-off two hours and six hours a day five days per week.

People go back to work on phased returns because full time is too much, bit a couple of hours is fine.

See what DS thinks.

Hope he has a speedy recovery.

lougle · 13/09/2015 15:02

Cinema: fine if he's happy to go.

Coding class: OK if he's happy to go and can leave early if he wants to.

School: busy place with children who won't appreciate a need to be careful and 6 hours per day.

PacificDogwood · 13/09/2015 15:03

I think it's a judgement call, and not one for us here to make.

But - I agree there's a huge difference between 6 hrs at school alongside lots of other kids, jostling and shoving and running, and a couple of hours sitting in a library.

It sounds like he had a nasty appendicitis, operated on in the nick of time.
Children do often recover very quickly, but equally it's easy to underestimate how long all the various layers of tissue that were cut need to properly knit together, so what activities should be allowed depends so much on the activity in question.
Did he have open surgery or keyhole (laparoscopy)? That will also influence recovery quite a bit.

Hope he feels back to normal very soon

BertrandRussell · 13/09/2015 15:04

I am prepared to bet he'll be up for the coding on Wednesday- there's a big difference between going to a class then home again and a day at school. If he's looking forward to it, it would be a shame to miss it. And a week is a long time in child recovery. But why not just wait and see?

Cinema today - less clear. Does he want to go? Does it involve any walking? Is it likely to be crowded and jostley?

LunchpackOfNotreDame · 13/09/2015 15:06

Keep him home! I had keyhole appendectomy and mine hadn't ruptured and I was fit for nothing for at least 7 - 10 days!

Nataleejah · 13/09/2015 15:07

He should be at home and resting. Period.

MrsGentlyBenevolent · 13/09/2015 15:10

I really don't think it's a good idea to ask an 8 year old if he 'feels up to it', less then a week after he's left hospital. He may well say yes, just because he really wants to go, it's does not mean he is actually well enough to go. I don't want to be the voice of gloom, but the sibling I mentioned thought they felt better, next thing they were vomiting blood and had an infection. It seems harsh and like he's missing out, but recovery is the priority here. How would you feel if he went to this class and ended up in bed not being able to move for another week? Or worse, pick up an infection? Many people on here wouldn't be getting back into things a short time after a big operation, just because kids can 'bounce back' quicker, doesn't mean they should be pushed to in circumstances like this.

5Foot5 · 13/09/2015 15:11

Poor little thing - I hope he is soon feeling better. Personally I would be keeping him at home from everything for a while longer. I have never had my appendix out but I have one had major abdominal surgery and I was in hospital for the best part of a week and off work for 6 weeks in total. I wouldn't have been up for doing anything much so soon afterwards. OK, I was about 30 at the time, not 8, but even so.....

BlueMoonRising · 13/09/2015 15:12

I guess it depends on the child. My children were very honest about if they were up to something out not when ill, so based on that I didn't think it a bad idea. Depends on the child I suppose!

Original poster

BrieAndChilli · 13/09/2015 15:14

We didn't go to cinema today and will see how DS is feeling on Wednesday. He has been sat at the computer all day today so much different except the getting there. (Driving and parking right outside)

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MarsTwirl · 13/09/2015 15:45

DS had this but he was much older (uni age). He was doing medicine and had to have a year out. Realistically it took him 6 months to recover/regain fitness and stamina etc. It really wiped him out.
Your DS is younger so may bounce back more quickly but don't underestimate how much it will have knocked him back. Sitting at home at computer is much less exhausting than car journey, chatting to others, following instructions etc.

catfordbetty · 13/09/2015 16:00

School no. But other things will have to be gradually reintroduced during the next month otherwise he could get very bored and low. Coding class could be a good start.

MaddyinaPaddy · 13/09/2015 17:07

DH had a burst appendix and was sent home the day after his surgery the night before.A couple of days later he was digging in the garden he felt so well.But it was too much, he got an infection and ended up back in hospital.Absolutely NO to going back to school.You are an idiot to be even consider it!

mumeeee · 13/09/2015 18:38

DD3 had her appendix out a few years ago. She was actually kept in hospital for two days. When she did come home she was told to stay off college for a month. She actually couldn't do much at all for at least a week. When she did manage to sit at the computer ( needed to do college work) she was okay for a short while but got tired. She certainly wouldn't have been able to go out.and then sit at a computer that soon after her operation.
Your DS needs to be kept at home.

Original poster

BrieAndChilli · 13/09/2015 18:57

Just to be clear I'm not considering sending him back to school and neither is DH! But I don't really want him to go to the coding club, but DH is making out I'm being over protective.

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incywincybitofa · 13/09/2015 19:04

My experience of abdominal surgery was the surgeon said, REST, don't lift anything heavy. He went on to say "in five days or so you might think you feel well enough to do a short walk, you will be wrong".
About 5 days later I decided I was up to a short walk to the corner shop- I was wrong.
I suspect your DS is the same, it might seem like he could manage it because he is starting to make the bare minimum, but could he walk from car to library, up to the coding room sit through the class move around for any demonstrations, I would be amazed.
Same with the cinema-what if he needs the loo?
What seems like a very short walk when you are well is miles when you have had abdominal surgery. It is painful and exhausting.
So YANBU

Spartans · 13/09/2015 19:17

So he has sat up at a computer all day today? Why is the different to the class?

It's hard to say whether he should go or not. but school is very different to a two hour coding class where he will be sat still. Although he may not be sat still, no idea what his coding class involves.

vienna1981 · 13/09/2015 19:18

I suppose hospitals would prefer to keep their post-surgical patients in hospital for much longer than they are permitted these days (my Mum was in for at least a week post-appendectomy in 1973) but resources just don't allow that luxury any more. So the medics can do little more than give the patient strict instructions and hope they will heed them.

OP. I hope your DS feels more like again before long. A few years ago one of my colleagues had surgery for peritonitis. My hospital visit to him very loudly told me, take it VERY easy .

kickassangel · 13/09/2015 19:27

I had my appendix out 2 years ago. It was an emergency, but hadn't burst, so I was fighting off infection as well as recovering from surgery.

I went back to work 6 days later (I'm a teacher, so pretty hectic). I found the worst bit was that I felt fine, just some minor pain, for about 2 hours at a time. Then I'd suddenly feel like I needed to sleep and rest.

Before Weds, can you see how long he's awake for in between resting? If he can do 3 hours no problem, the class will be fine. And it will be worth doing things leading up to the return to school, in short bursts, so that you can see how worn out he gets.

amazonqueen · 13/09/2015 19:35

If this had happened a few years ago he would have been in hospital for a week and then on home bed rest for at least a week.
He has had major surgery and a general anaesthetic. It takes roughly 1 month per every hour of GA for the effects to completely wear off.
He may well feel fine sitting at home and taking things very slowly indeed but its a whole different thing out in the world with other people rushing by to cope with.

Let him have a proper recuperation period of at least 2 full weeks and then see how he goes.

Original poster

BrieAndChilli · 13/09/2015 19:38

Yesterday and today he has been awake and chatty and alert all day from about 8am,
One of my good friends is a GP as has Monday's off so I think I will ask her to come round for a cuppa and check him over and see what she thinks. Obviously she won't have his full medical history and couldn't give me a professional opinion but she will be able to tell how well he is dealing with it.
It's his first class which is why he doesn't want to miss it but I have no idea what to expect. Parking is right outside the library- it is right niece to a car park and suppose could just take him for half an hour. Will see how he goes until then.

OP posts:

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