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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To ask what your 8 mo is/was like?

44 replies

Drmum83 · 13/09/2015 12:10

Ok, ftm, neurotic at times. Personality dictates I always have to have something to worry about/obsess over

My DD is 8 mo
She's well, sitting, feeding well, not crawling. I can't help but compare her to other kids...
She's happy when well napped and full belly, will sit and play with a toy for a few minutes, likes to be picked up, spontaneously smiles and belly laughs to peek a boo/tickles
Around unfamiliar ppl, she is incredibly shy, difficult to get her to smile until she has fully warmed up - default seems to be concerned face. Not happy being held by anyone other than me and DH really.
My NCT group kids are crawling, happier to go to other adults and less reserved.
I'm not that worried, it's just a so called friend started mentioning autism as her DS was 'always giggling at anyone at this age' - got my cogs whirring...

Tell me what your 8mo is like, thanks!

OP posts:

ArmySal · 13/09/2015 12:25

My first child was only sitting at 8 months, didn't crawl until 10 months and walked at 15 months.
She rarely smiled at her parents, let alone strangers...
She's now 11 and is perfectly 'average' in all areas (although pretty good at English and sports).

My second is 8 months now and smiles all the time and is crawling already.

Please don't compare, just enjoy them. It goes by so quickly.

Wobblebeans · 13/09/2015 12:28

Sounds normal to me, my dd3 is 9 months but she's not sitting up by herself yet (although she's nearly there). None of mine were. One thing I found that would drive me crazy was comparing them to other babies the same age, they're all so different (my sister was walking at 9 months but I wasn't till around 16 months!).

my older 2 were wary of people they didn't know at that age, dd3 will smile and chatter to anyone on the bus, though she doesn't like to be held by people she's not familiar with.

Babies all vary massively at that age, developmentally and personality wise, I really wouldn't worry

PaulineFossil · 13/09/2015 12:30

Sounds perfectly normal. Please don't listen to your 'friend'. Children are all different. I had one that was almost walking at this age and happy to go to anyone and another who would scream if held by anyone else til about a year and walked at 17months. Very little difference between them by age 2.

drivingmisspotty · 13/09/2015 12:30

Ignore the 'friend' and enjoy your baby.

Some babies are giggly and outgoing, some are not and every shade between the two. Just like adults. She may turn out to be shy or she may change as she grows. Enjoy the journey!

WhatTheJeffHasGoneOnHere · 13/09/2015 12:32

Sounds completely normal. I have one child who was always ahead, walked at ten months and talked early, and one who crawled at nine months and is happy still doing so at 1. He didn't like strangers either. Both are happy. They are both developing fine, just differently.

Original poster

Drmum83 · 13/09/2015 12:32

Thanks everyone for your reassurance, really helps to hear about lots of other babies and the ranges of normal!

OP posts:

WhatTheJeffHasGoneOnHere · 13/09/2015 12:35

Your friend is an idiot, ignore. Enjoy your DD.

drivingmisspotty · 13/09/2015 12:38

PS you actually asked what my 8mo was like. I've had two. DD was a bit like you describe your daughter. She was crawling by then I think but she took a long time to warm up to strangers. I remember one of my friends commenting on this and saying 'she's just like you' which is true! She is now 6 and reported as quiet at school but has no trouble making friends and is very socially aware and kind, will often notice the child who is upset or left out and try to comfort them. She is physically brave and will climb to high places and jump off/go on big fairground rides

DS was a later crawler I think but has always been outgoing and was incredibly smiley at that age. Was ill enough to be in hospital but confused all the doctors with his happy demeanour. Despite this, he has always been a massive mummy's boy and at three still comes into bed with me in night and would rather be carried anywhere than walk.

So in a nutshell they are all different and pretty unpredictable at 8mo how they will be even a few months later.

luckiestgirlintheworld · 13/09/2015 12:41

Oh crikey, find something different to obsess about, everything sounds perfectly normal with your DD.

LaurieMarlow · 13/09/2015 12:47

Sounds perfectly normal. Some are a lot more wary round strangers than others. Plenty of babies not crawling at 8 months - more and more don't crawl at all. It's not an official milestone any more.

Your 'friend' is being a bitch. That's such an unnecessary and unhelpful idea to put in your head. I'd be avoiding that one.

Welshwabbit · 13/09/2015 12:51

Perfectly normal for an 8 month old to cling to mum and dad and also not to be crawling. Mine is commando crawling but not on hands and knees yet (my older boy was on hands and knees by this point). They're all different.

Wearyheadedlady · 13/09/2015 13:00

My 8 month old would sometimes smile at people but usually from the safe haven of my lap. I remember we had an "8 month check up" with the health visitor. She pulled up to standing, grinned at the HV to see if she'd done well, followed the ball the HV rolled around on the carpet and I was told her head was small but I didn't care. She was a long thin child with a small head. She didn't crawl, ever. When she was 12 months old she stood up and tottered about and that was the end of that. She said "mama" around the same time.

Now she is almost 8 years old. She's a year ahead in school, still a long thin thing (her head looks normal) and she is always wanting to do stuff, constantly go out and socialize. She's a delight (most of the time).

Minion · 13/09/2015 13:01

My dd is 8.5 months.
Showed no interest in crawling or rolling (even though she first rolled at 4 months). Bought her some stacking cups and put them into a tower, overnight crawler.
She's not a cuddler not a smiler and is not very interested in toys.
She is more concerned with becoming independent and mobile.
She will be an early walker as she's been trying to stand etc since month 5.
I'm constantly worried like you but apparently I was the same so I'm not too worried now.
I'm hoping one she figures out walking she'll relax a bit more.

WeAllHaveWings · 13/09/2015 13:10

ds(11) was never an especially socialable baby with strangers either, liked to suss them out first. Crawled at 9ish months (he didn't really sit unaided until he started crawling).

I do not understand why on earth your friend would even consider mentioning autism for what sounds like a baby which is displaying perfectly normal behaviours, is she usually like that?

Original poster

Drmum83 · 13/09/2015 13:32

wings - don't get me started. She absolutely loves being the 'best' at everything. She is constantly trying to out do others.
Quotes from her 'DS 20 mo had 2 vaccinations today, didn't cry at all. Not many mums can say that'
'DS is soo clever, the gym cr??che lady couldn't believe it'
'DS is gonna be really handsome isn't he'

There are a thousand more. Openly competes with everyone 'x friend is having an extension so we're moving to a much bigger house than her's'
And, more shockingly (just after my mum had died and I was due to give birth any day) 'I don't know how I would have survived the newborn period without mum'

She can be an utter bitch but, has her moments of loveliness too. My DH and I secretly laugh about her utterings. Keeps us entertained.

OP posts:

NobodyLivesHere · 13/09/2015 13:36

I have 3 kids. my eldest was very reserved as a baby, i remember taking her to birthday parties and she wouldn't move off my lap. she even cried when i sat her on the floor between my feet! she didn't crawl til 11months.

my second was much quicker to crawl, was on the move at 5.5 months and less shy but still not keen on strangers.

my third was born feisty. she was never shy. she crawled around 7 months i think.

all 3 are pefectly sociable humans now.

Original poster

Drmum83 · 13/09/2015 13:39

Seems the shyer babies are slightly later to crawl/walk etc
Makes perfect sense I guess!

OP posts:

Artandco · 13/09/2015 13:41

Sounds normal. That's why 9months maternity leave can be the worst as its when most are clingiest. It's better actually stating childcare before 6 months or after 12 months.

At 8months with both of mine dh or I worked from home. This meant for quite a few hours they just playing alone on playmat or stayed in sling and slept there. I think they were sitting well but still slightly wobbling. Both crawled only for about a week before walking just after 1st birthdays, so def didn't crawl at 8months.

They are now perfectly capable 4 and 5 year olds who run, ride bikes, rock climb, bilingual, blah blah. None of what they did before over 2 years

Original poster

Drmum83 · 13/09/2015 13:42

When, after confessing I was a little worried about DD's social skills and then a week later, saying I thought my previous concerns were silly, said friend said 'oh good, I've got some books saved on my Amazon wish list on autism just incase'

OP posts:

Spartans · 13/09/2015 14:21

If she talks such shit why do you listen to anything she says?

Spartans · 13/09/2015 14:22

Oh and my ds didn't cry at his injections....do I win a prize?

Original poster

Drmum83 · 13/09/2015 15:17

I don't usually take much notice of friend's comments but as I had had my own concerns, it kinda made me think a bit more about it. The rest of the crap goes over my head!

OP posts:

Idefix · 13/09/2015 15:32

Op your dd sounds "normal" to me. What are yours and dh personalities? My dd would not just look serious when strangers tried to interact with her she would start to cry and this would carry on till they left her alone. Dd is now 15yrs and is till shy, she take after her parents who are also shy. Dd is however developmentally "normal" and doing well in her studies and does have friends. Dd has just been slow according to some regarding certain social elements, her first sleepover happened when she was 10 yrs.

Watch out on the crawling thing dd went from sitting to walking at 91/2 moths .

Would ignore what people are saying to you, enjoy your time with dd and try not easy to not compare.

Btw ds (fb) was the complete opposite.

Original poster

Drmum83 · 13/09/2015 15:50

Thanks idefix
I think I was quite timid as a child, think DH was quite placid too although he was a preemie twin and met milestones slightly later than usual.
It's so hard to not compare to others but I'm trying.

When did your babies start to imitate actions/clap/wave/follow pointing?

OP posts:

HackerFucker22 · 13/09/2015 16:42

DD is nearly 8 months. She commando crawls but doesn't sit (she 'can' sit but as she can move quite freely she doesn't waste her time sitting). She is incredibly inquisitive and actually quite dangerous - she loves wires, plugs and shoes!

She doesn't sleep through, she is weaning well [BLW] but is still pretty much ebf..she has no teeth and she is small, 14lb 10oz a few weeks back and 9th centile. She is a complete mummies girl, we co sleep only way I get any kip and she is so is a complete bundle of energy.

I have a friend with a girl a few weeks younger so it is hard not to make comparisons. BUT I am not a ftm so I am a lot more relaxed this time. DS was a bit "late" meeting most of his milestones but aged almost 3 now he is just dandy.

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