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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Getting a cleaner during my 1st trimester

31 replies

sleepy11 · 12/09/2015 14:25

I am pregnant with DC#3 and I am really finding the sickness difficult - a local friend has a cleaner and i am tempted to ask if she can also come to us, just once a fortnight until I start feeling better.

Would that make me a princess??

I can't really afford a cleaner all the time but I just have no motivation and my DH is doing his best but he works full time and we have 2 small children already.

Feels like such a 1st world problem! Smile

OP posts:
OctoberCupcake · 12/09/2015 14:31

If you can afford it and it'll help then do it, of course!!

Maybe think of it the other way round; you might be providing work to someone who needs it :)

DirtyMugPolice · 12/09/2015 14:32

If you can afford it then do it. You'll love it!

Murfles · 12/09/2015 14:33

If you can afford it then do it. I've had a cleaner twice a week for nearly 24 years (since I fell pregnant with DC1). Having a cleaner certainly never made me a princess, she kept me sane when I had 4 under 5 to contend with.

PiperChapstick · 12/09/2015 14:35

YANBU. Pregnancy is so tough at every stage and were expected to be martyrs throughout. If you can afford it do it!

awaits "I was 42 weeks gone and still cleaned the roof tiles" type posts

BeautifulBatman · 12/09/2015 14:38

Yanbu. I have a cleaner. Have done for two years. I haven't worked since April and still have one. Dc1 is due in 4 weeks. I'll be a sahm but dh has suggested we up the cleaners hours when baby arrives. I think I might take him up on that very kind offer Grin

sleepy11 · 12/09/2015 14:39

I think we could do it short term - certainly not once I'm on maternity pay! Which is a shame cos sure will have even less motivation when I have a newborn!

Yes, Piper I was expecting mostly "just stop being a baby, I built an extension when I was pregnant" type replies! Grin

OP posts:
Creatureofthenight · 12/09/2015 14:44

YANBU. If you can afford a cleaner and you feel you need one, get one.
If other people have the energy to do everything when pregnant, good for them, everyone's different though.

ValancyJane · 12/09/2015 14:45

YANBU, first trimester can be hideous, if you can afford it definitely do it!!

Stokes · 12/09/2015 14:52

YANBU, no one who can afford a cleaner is BU to hire one.

Skiptonlass · 12/09/2015 14:58

Yanbu.

I was so sick during my first trimester (still am now some days) that even moving my head too quickly would trigger vomiting.

Of course it's not princessy. It gives you a break, provides employment and puts money into the local economy. Go for it!

RachelZoe · 12/09/2015 15:05

If you can afford it, do it, there is no shame in getting some domestic help.

waxweasel · 12/09/2015 15:08

Omg yes. Do it. We have a weekly cleaner and she is absolutely incredible, I couldn't do without her.

I'm 10 weeks pregnant and also feeling like filth. I am driving myself demented with lists of things that need doing that I just dont have the energy to do. If I could pay someone to just come and run every aspect of my life for me for a few weeks I would!

Flingmoo · 12/09/2015 15:26

Get a cleaner and don't feel guilty or embarassed about it. It's not a massive luxury, it's not posh or extravagant, it's more affordable than people think.

Since DS was a few months old, we pay about £45 a month for a fortnightly 2 hour clean which means:

  • I never have to hoover, dust or mop upstairs rooms anymore
  • I never thoroughly clean the bathrooms anymore, just a bit of bleach down the loo and quick sink wipe
  • I never have to do skirting boards
  • I only have to do 'light' cleaning around the house inbetween visits because there will never be a big build up of dirt anywhere.

The only cleaning I have to do between her visits now is:

  • quick loo and sink clean
  • hoover the living room as this is our only 'high traffic' room and we get a lot of carpet fluff
  • the usual washing dishes and cleaning kitchen after meals

Seriously, as a family we spend far more than that on buying lunch at work rather than packing lunches, I would rather economise in that area than give up the cleaner. Many families spend that amount on other things which are not considered extravagant, such as takeaways or expensive smart phone bills or Sky TV, a new outfit each month, ciggies, booze, or a new pair of shoes, and so on. So I'd always prefer to economise in those areas rather than give up our cleaner.

I honestly believe that it's sexist that as a society we often disapprove of those who hire cleaners... it's seen as the woman's job to get the housework done and if you pay for someone else to do it you're supposedly wasting money rather than fulfilling your womanly duty.

Meanwhile traditional "men's" work is outsourced all the time with much less criticism: paying for a car wash, garden work, household renovations etc.

Why should anyone be considered lazy because they don't want to waste too much of their short life doing mundane, boring household chores if they can afford to have someone else do a little bit of the work?

sleepy11 · 12/09/2015 16:06

I'm convinced! We probably do waste enough money each month to afford it by better management!

The thought of not cleaning the bathroom...Grin

OP posts:
shoopshoopsong · 12/09/2015 16:08

Definitely a very sensible idea

Flingmoo · 12/09/2015 16:09

My one does the shower screen and bathroom mirror with glass cleaner which makes the whole room look so perfect and lovely and shiny - I know it wouldn't take that long, but I would literally never bother doing that myself so it's a really nice feeling going into a professionaly cleaned bathroom, feels like a hotel bathroom!

FizzlePops · 12/09/2015 16:28

I wish I could, I would in a heartbeat. My house looks like a shit tip. I'm ten weeks pg with an 18 month old and feel like I've been dragged out of the gutter most days.
It sounds like it would take the pressure off both of you. I would do it.

HazleNutt · 12/09/2015 18:00

you get to do something else instead of cleaning. Someone else gets a job. Win-win.

passthenutellaplease · 12/09/2015 18:12

YANBU get the cleaner and rest as much as you can Smile

DoreenLethal · 12/09/2015 18:17

I had a cleaner for years, and I had no trimester to speak of.

I still miss her every week.

triathlon · 12/09/2015 18:36

Yes, get a cleaner!

Most people wouldn't see anything wrong in paying a man to wash windows / mend the car / paint the kitchen / do the gardening. So jobs often done by women, such as cleaning, should be no different.

Cherryblossomsinspring · 12/09/2015 18:41

I must be a total 'princess' because I both ask for and pay for help when I'm ill and struggling with morning sickness. A bit insulted for all women out there who use a cleaner. I don't think it's princessy in the slightest to get someone else to do the shitty jobs none of us really asked to be ours by default to begin with.

TENDTOprocrastinate · 12/09/2015 19:39

I first hired a cleaner when I was pregnant and sick with dd1. Dd1 is now 8 and I still have a cleaner- never looked back!
If you can afford it why not??

whathaveiforgottentoday · 12/09/2015 20:05

This is my first year having a cleaner and I love it. I work full time and that was my condition on going from part time back to full time

PenelopeChipShop · 12/09/2015 20:24

Yup I came on to say what TENDTO said. We first got one during the first trimester of my first pregnancy. Our DS is now 3 and we've had one ever since, throughout maternity leave and now I'm back at work.

If we were economising the cleaner would be the last cost to go, I bloody love her.

I'm also 11 weeks with no.2 and remembering afresh how awful MS and exhaustion is. You are NOT a princess for outsourcing cleaning especiAlly with three other people in your house making mess!!