To think it's terrible exh doesn't know how old his only son is and it's not a man thing?

[Fantasyland]

Trying to re establish contact with ex h and 8 year old son after he walked out 3 1/2 years ago and seen son handful of times.

On the phone last night son said ' I bet you don't even know how old I am?'
Exh said ' no but I can work it out ' and he started adding up the year he was born and finally came up with 8.

I think this is terrible but apparently it's a man thing not knowing how old your only son is.
Would you expect a child's dad to know how old his son is even if he hasn't seen them properly for 3 years?

And you want to have this half wit in your son's life because.........?

Erm - well I had him pegged as a twat from your first para - but I do the 'adding up' thing to work out how old my DC are - while they are sitting on my lap!

I'm female - if that helps.

My son wanted to speak to him on the phone and I was hoping he had changed.

Of course. The date of your child's birth is written on your heart. Assuming you have one.

I can never keep track of my children's ages, and I'm their mother, and we live together!

I work it out from the year, almost every time. And I get my youngest son's actual date of birth wrong ridiculously often.

It's just a numbers thing, their ages change regularly anyway .

YANBU. It's not exactly difficult.

He knew his date of birth but I was shocked he didn't know how old he was especially since it's his only child.

I could have understood if you have more than 1 child then you have to think.

My dad thought I was 26...I'm 33

He's not exactly the best dad in the world

My DDad's mum didn't know his date of birth or his age. He only found out when he applied for his first passport at 18 using his birth certificate. Imagine celebrating your birthday on the wrong day for 18 years!

I would say it's a man thing. My dad's a dick but my grandfather never knew how old he was far less any of his kids or grandkids. We laughed at him as a kid for it but it works out aces now. He thinks I'm 'about 26 or something' and I continue to let him think and tell people that.

Why would it be a 'man' thing. What about having a penis gives you an inability to be aware of key data about your child?

It's not a man thing, it's an "I don't give a shit about my kid" thing.

YABU

My gran didnt always know how old I was but she was still a good gran, its not a good indicator of ability to be a good parent or to be loving and kind.
He knows what year his son was born in and thus he did know how old he was when he worked it out.

How do you know he only has one child?

To be honest it looks like you have posted this thread due to unresolved bitterness about your breakup and to justify to yourself what a bad father he is.

Straycat seeing him 'only a few times' in the past few years is what makes him a bad father, so I don't think the OP has to justify much.

It isn't a man thing, it's a rubbish dad thing.

I don't really see my dad (rubbish dad) and knew he had no idea when my birthday was, as he last sent a card (or probably my step mum did) when I was 15. He proved it recently by wishing me happy birthday on Facebook about two weeks before the actual day. Thanks dad, now everyone knows you have no idea when I was born.

Straycat I wanted to know if it was unreasonable for a dad to not know how old their only child is?
If I wanted to justify that he was a bad dad I could have wrote a book on the things he has or hasn't done over the years but it was this struck me as odd.

I know he has no other children as we have mutual friends

Also mentioning he has seen him a handful of times is relevant as to whether not seeing your child regular would be reasonable to not know how old his son is? As a dad with regular contact you would assume they would know the age of the child as involved in their life

I would be more worried about my son asking questions like that to be honest, it shows that he knows how little his dad cares. This can't be good for his self esteem.

Not knowing immediately how old your child is doesn't automatically mean someone is a bad parent. I had to calculate my OWN age a while ago as I couldn't remember . My father wouldn't even know what year I was born.

What makes this man a bad Dad is the lack of contact over the past few years.

YABU I quite often have to work out my kids ages using their dobs. I have also been known to get my own age wrong. I think I am a pretty good mum.

Barbarian but like I said more than 1 child you could sort of understand getting mixed up but only 1 is not that hard to remember?

My dad doesn't know my age or my birthday, my siblings. He lived with us when we grew up.

However, he bothers to remember the cleaners and his neighboursbirthdays.

He expects us to make a real fuss of his. Party, presents, etc.

I can't tell you how damaging it is.

Bullshit. My DH knows both our son's complete birth dates and ages. It's not a man thing at all.

An elderly gran getting confused about a grandchild's age/DOB is one thing, especially if she has multiple grandkids to keep track of. But a parent (man or woman) should know their children's ages and dates of birth.