To think it's terrible exh doesn't know how old his only son is and it's not a man thing?

[Fantasyland]

Trying to re establish contact with ex h and 8 year old son after he walked out 3 1/2 years ago and seen son handful of times.

On the phone last night son said ' I bet you don't even know how old I am?'
Exh said ' no but I can work it out ' and he started adding up the year he was born and finally came up with 8.

I think this is terrible but apparently it's a man thing not knowing how old your only son is.
Would you expect a child's dad to know how old his son is even if he hasn't seen them properly for 3 years?

The "date of your child's birth is engraved on your heart" thing made me laugh because I regularly get our wedding anniversary and DS's birthday muddled.

The man in the OP did in fact know the birth date. He doesn't remember the age of his child because he hasn't really seen him for half his life. As others have said, that is the issue...

I guarantee my lovely, involved and supportive Dad would struggle if I asked him how old I am and he'd have to count the years since my date of birth.

A great male friend of mine gets his own age wrong sometimes!. It sounds like your ex is a shit Dad for many reasons but I don't think knowing his DS date of birth and having to count the years is one of them tbh.

My dad is brilliant. I love him very much and we have a great relationship. I'm sure if I asked him how old I was, or when my birthday was he might get to within a year of my age and a few days of my birthday but tbh he wouldn't really know. No biggie really! He loves me anyway.

DH is a great dad. He gets ages wrong for both DCs and himself all the time. He even thinks I'm younger than I actually am. I don't correct him on that one.

I was at an event this morning where the speaker turned to one of the chaps (lovely chap, generally very knowledgeable) and said "you did this at 12yo, how many years ago was that now?"
There was a long pause while he looked blank, followed by obvious calculations in his head. He couldn't remember how old he was. He was 25 for the record.

Wasn't there a point Princess Di forgot William's age when he was about that age? I don't remember the event, but I'm sure I've seen a Giles' cartoon about it.

I wanted to say yanbu, but then I remembered last time mil was here. She was totally convinced my partner is 33 - a full 7 years out. She was confusing him for her eldest I think (who's still younger than that), my poor partner was mortified!

I think that your looking for reasons to put your ex down as a 'bad parent'. He may well be, especially after being absent, but you can't base it on this I'm afraid.

My dad lived with us and didn't know how old I was. I'm 57 now and his only regular visitor - and I haven't forgotten.

VoyageOfDad - again, I want to agree, but sometimes I forget the name we've chosen for our soon-due baby boy. I'm a horrible parent already!!

Not defending this man, who doesn't sound too wonderful, but I had a friend who couldn't remember her own age.

I have to work out how old my DCs are.
I often have to work out how old I am.
I have to thing very carefully about DS3's date of birth because neither DH nor I could clearly remember it when we came to register him at the last minute. We knew it was one of 2 dates but couldn't remember which.
We often call a DS by one of the other DS's names.

I'm a good mother. DH is a good father.

Your DS's dad might well be shite but that'll be for reasons other than the numbers thing.

Atenco I hope that's not me

He is not a great Dad but after 20 years I still mess up DH birthday and age.

Christ, I don't know how old I am half the time..

My dad is a great dad, but he still can't spell my name right and he named me! So I'd say it's partly a man thing.

I actually don't think the working out thing is at all bad I do it to all my siblings and I definately don't know how my parents are without comparing it to my own age or going I was this old when they were 40 so that makes them .....

My amazing mum totally forgot my 15th birthday 14 years later she forgot my little sisters 15th too.

My dad uses tricks to remember mine and my brothers we're 3 years three days apart so his is even number day odd number year I'm odd number day even number year. And in fact on my last birthday he asked me how old I was. Er 34! If he can't remeber it after 34 years lol!

What is a problem is your son expected him not to know!

Does he have the date tattooed on him?

Knowing your young childs age is about as fundamental as knowing their name !*

Haha not in big families, my mum often has to go Eion, Christina, Edward, Lucy* before going I mean which ever she does actually mean we've had it pretty much all our lives she loves us dearly, she's a great mum, just she's spent th las 40 years running a very busy house with a husband with a 24/7 job, two kids to get to access with their dad, dogs, homework, and working full time. She just has mind blanks!

My lovely dad is unlikely to know what my age is or the exact date of my birthday. So YABU to think it is an indicator of how much he cares.

I have to think to remember the exact date DD was born, and she's the only one I've got.

Of course. The date of your child's birth is written on your heart. Assuming you have one.

Umm ok. I obviously don't have a heart or love my kids then..

I regularly have to think about dc1's date of birth. Due date was July, and they arrived in June. Still think they're a July baby! Dc2 I keep transposing the day and month.

However I do know their ages!

I don't think knowing your child's age indicates whether you're a good or bad parent. I do think disappearing for over 3 years does!

I have to think about how old my DC are. I have to think really hard about their DoBs (I wasn't there for one of them, so a bit of an excuse....). I have to think really really hard how old I am - partly because I can't quite believe how ancient I am getting, but in truth I have never been good at remembering it. My own DoB is the only one I can recite in the blink of an eye.