To feel (completely irrationally) hatred for this woman?

[Bloodybloodyhell]

I know IABU. Of course I am. And I need to get over it quick smart.

But, but, but...

There's a Mum at DS's school. She's v pretty, v thin, v stylish. Always looks amazing. Clearly v popular too.

She (already) has 4 gorgeous kids. And appears to be pregnant with her 5th.

She has a gorgeous husband. They are clearly v well off. Lovely house, great car. A squillion holidays a year etc.

By contrast, I'm a single Mum. One fabulous, adorable, super little DS - who I wouldn't change for the world.

But I would love, love, love another child. And a lovely DH. And, basically, this woman's life.

Atm, I'm avoiding her at all costs. I'm afraid that if I have to utter the words "congratulations" they may just stick in my throat.

I know I'm being a cow. And I know that I have so much to be grateful for. But this has been going over and over in my mind for days.

Why can't my life be like hers? How do I stop obsessing??!!

This is why I love facebook. Jealousy's a natural human emotion but it's not a good look. I've often done the old "Congratulations! Great news!" on facebook while giving Vs to the computer screen.

Her life may or may not be lovely, but it will not be perfect because no one's life is. She's got 4, nearly 5 children - that in itself will be a challenge. Even if they are all cherubs, there are bound to be humps in the road. She might have days when she is trying to get 5 kids ready for school and think "man, I love my children but I slightly envy people like Bloodybloodyhell who only have to manage one!"

There's a reason the "grass is always greener" cliche exists. Mild envy is a natural emotion but complete hatred is unfair to her.

She might have a lovely life. Or her husband may be in up to his neck with war crime activities (not necessarily committing them but getting others to) and she's terrified of speaking out. There are quite a few GWOT mums like this out there. They don't have to lift a finger but they know everyone elses dislikes/fears them and that their family position always depends on them doing crap like this. Hence most of them end up with the hardest faces and stiffest necks by their forties. You just never know really.

I remember meeting someone impossibly beautiful and thinking I bet she's a bitch. I held my judgement and it turned out not only was she beautiful, she was clever, talented and NICE. And I liked her so much I was glad she was all those things. She was also terribly insecure and frightened by the men who saw the outside only. We lost touch but I hope she's happy.
Sometimes impossibly perfect people are just bloody lovely. Give it a whirl.

you have no idea what the future may bring for either of you. She will be in a far worse sit then you if her marriage ends. Stop comparing and count your blessings,
1- a lovely dd
2----

I can think of two scenarios for this woman:

First scenario, she really does have it all and is it all and can cope with it all. I have known someone like that. She was as lovely when I first met her aged 12 as when I last met her before she died in an accident aged 38. She really lived each day as though she didn't know what was round the corner. Which is what we all should be doing.

Second scenario: she has a lot, but look carefully at what she doesn't have.
My sister has become a trophy wife living in a gilded cage. Having been brought up constantly being praised for her beauty, sensitivity and good compliant behaviour, and punished every time she showed any sign of having her own mind - it's not surprising she married someone who would praise her and buy expensive stuff for her as long as she keeps on being the perfect hostess, the perfect work-function wife, thinner and more beautiful and better dressed and with more social graces than all the other women. As a consequence she lives a haunted existence, constantly checking her appearance, anorexic, and constantly afraid that one of those disgustingly rude, aggressive, assertive, and very ugly and slobby [i.e. totally normal, healthy] other women might take her husband away from her. But she's so well trained in social situations that you might not guess.

I have a single mother friend who probably thinks I'm one of those annoying people who has it all. But I look at her and want to have her warmth, her resolve, her amazing achievement in the face of extreme adversity, and most of all, her truly awesome wit and personality. I might own my own house, and have a nice husband, and the possiblity of a child or two; but my career is a failure, I am a talentless bore, I have no social ability or warmth and no idea what to do with my life, which is half over.

Maybe her husband has committed war crimes?!

Well that's a new one!

There will always be someone with more than you. Equally, there will always be someone who is content with a lot less than you.

I often feel envious of other people, but I have to say the thought of having five children fills me with horror.

I know that doesn't help much, sorry. But it sounds like you have some nice things in your life, so focus on the positives if you can. (I know it's easier said than done.)

Oh, I despise threads like this where most people jump in with different ways the OPs life must be better and the other person's must secretly be shit. If it makes OP feel better to imagine this woman's life is shit, then that's not a very nice attitude to have!

I'm with the people who said not to compare lives. Some people have more than others. That's life. Much better to try to accept that than try to come up with all the ways this woman's life must be awful compared to yours.