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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be upset and cross with dd2s teacher?

55 replies

Asimovbuff · 11/09/2015 11:37

Dd2 loves drama. She does a paid for drama club at school with yearly exams. She's worked in a group for the last 3 years and the group has been awarded distinctions in all 3 exams. The teacher doesn't seem to like dd very much and has written a few strange reports about her attitude and commitment. When we've emailed the teacher to discuss she has never replied. We've spoken to dd who seems oblivious. She's a sunny child who does well in all her lessons and school drama lessons where the teacher (a different one) praises her work ethic. She does have some problems with literacy which she is getting extra help for - this doesn't affect her ability to learn lines which she is very quick at.

When she returned this term, it transpired that the other two girls in the group had been put together as a duo and there was no place for dd Sad apparently the mum of one of the other girls has requested this "when she bumped into me (the drama teacher) by chance in reception. "

So basically they've decided that the other two girls will work on a duologue this year and dd has nothing. So she'll have to give up, unless she wants to do a monologue (which she doesnt). There is no one else she can go with and all the groups have been decided. I feel really upset. AIBU?

Just to add a couple of years ago there was another girl in the group. She was dyspraxic and dyslexic and the mum of one of the girls who have formed the duo asked me to complain about her so that she got moved out of the group. I refused. Looks like she's done similar to dd Sad

OP posts:
dodobookends · 11/09/2015 11:44

Perhaps you could make an appointment to speak to this teacher in person. You are paying the same as everyone else for the drama club so your dd needs the same opportunities as the others. It seems rather unfair otherwise.

Sounds like the other mum might be suffering from 'Pushy Parent' syndrome - not all that uncommon in the performing arts unfortunately.

Original poster
Asimovbuff · 11/09/2015 11:46

I am seeing her this afternoon

I had been asking for a meeting for ages last year with no reply

It took one email from dh yesterday and she replied within 30 mins Hmm

OP posts:
Floggingmolly · 11/09/2015 11:48

You are all paying customers, so to speak; so pushy mum has no place telling the teacher how to run the group (if that's really what happened).
Ask for a meeting with the teacher and be twice as pushy! She's a spineless cow.

ItsAllGoingToBeFine · 11/09/2015 11:48

That sounds like a really shitty drama class. Surely the drama teacher should be making sure everyone in the class has equal opportunities to shine. Are there any alternative drama classes you can go to - I don't think the problem is the pushy parents, it is the drama teacher who should know how to deal with them, rather than pandering to their every whim.

beenawhile · 11/09/2015 11:53

It sounds like your daughter would be better off out of there. Is there another group she could attend?

TheHouseOnTheLane · 11/09/2015 11:56

Are there only 3 in the group? Confused There's nothing wrong with working on a monologue...that's a big part of acting....but if there are only 3 in the group, DD would be better in a different drama club if you ask me.

Original poster
Asimovbuff · 11/09/2015 11:58

It's run within school. There aren't anymore LAMDA classes locally AFAIK

One of the reasons given was that once they start doing the duologue exam results count for ucas points. Hence moving out of the group. It hasn't seem to have occured to the tech er hat perhaps dd would like to gain ucas points!!

Dd even wants to do drama at uni unlike the other two girls. It seems such a crying shame I could cry for dd (and probably will in the meeting Shock)

OP posts:
Original poster
Asimovbuff · 11/09/2015 11:59

There are lots of different groups - you study for an exam at the end of the year in a group of 3 or 4

OP posts:
Keeptrudging · 11/09/2015 12:01

I would be tempted to ask to see their policies on equal opportunities/learning difficulties etc as it sounds as if they are discriminating against particular children. Drama groups often have issues with favouritism/pushy parents, but this one sounds awful. Is there another one on the area?

TheHouseOnTheLane · 11/09/2015 12:02

How old is DD? Don't cry in the meeting....if the teacher hasn't got another child for her to team up with then SHE should do it so DD can get those points.

Insist that DD has a chance at a duologue so she too can get the UCAS points.

Is there a Stagecoach school or a Theatre Train near you? They do the LAMDA's

Original poster
Asimovbuff · 11/09/2015 12:05

That's interesting about stagecoach although we find it hard to do Saturdays

OP posts:
MaddyinaPaddy · 11/09/2015 12:13

Wow!! I would be JUMPING at the opportunity to do a monologue!!

TeenAndTween · 11/09/2015 12:15

A side issue really, but UCAS points are generally likely to be neither here nor there if your DD is reasonably academic. Mainly university offers are based on A level grades. She wouldn't be able to bump up missing A level grades by having LAMDA. (Though could of course be different if doing Drama).

You could view it as a chance to really shine by doing the monologue which is then entirely dependent on her skills rather than anyone else.

Original poster
Asimovbuff · 11/09/2015 12:22

Thanks tween

The teacher has said she doesn't think dd is capable of a monologue!

She just doesn't want her

I'm really angry with the school tbh as all this is done in their name so to speak

OP posts:
TheHouseOnTheLane · 11/09/2015 12:24

Paddy from what OP said, it seems only duologues count towards UCAS points. Is that right OP?

Also....do YOU think DD is capable of a monologue? Can she learn the lines and cope with it?

Original poster
Asimovbuff · 11/09/2015 12:24

I don't really understand th ucas points thing tbh

If she needs say AAB for a course then if she gets the equivalent of a grade D through LAMDA and gets BBC it's not going to help is it?

OP posts:
Original poster
Asimovbuff · 11/09/2015 12:25

House on he lane no she doesn't want to do a monologue - think she suspects not capable - she's in year 8 so a bit early to be thinking about ucas??

OP posts:
Misnomer · 11/09/2015 12:26

I don't know how old your daughter is but if she wants to do drama at Uni she is going to have to tackle monologues so it may be a good opportunity to give it a go. Is it possible that the teacher knows this? Especially as you said that the other two aren't interested in doing it at degree level?

MrsGentlyBenevolent · 11/09/2015 12:32

I agree that it sounds like your daughter has been pushed out, and you should speak to the teacher. However, I don't understand if she wants to do drama in university, why she would not jump at the chance of a monologue? She will be expected to do a variety of things at uni, not just stick to the same little group, better to start branching out now. Sounds like this is the perfect opportunity to build confidence and independence in her performance.

Theycallmemellowjello · 11/09/2015 12:36

Frankly unless I got a very good response from the drama teacher in the meeting I'd be taking this higher up in the school. I know it's a paid for class and not part of the curriculum, but it's still not good for the school to be having such blatant bullying type behaviour from teachers working under its auspices.

jorahmormont · 11/09/2015 12:40

Depending on what sort of drama course she wants to do at uni makes a big difference as to whether UCAS points matter or not. If it's a drama school she wants to go to, UCAS points won't be a huge deal - it will be all based on paid auditions, and evidence of LAMDA qualifications will stand her in good stead.

If it's a theoretical drama course, which is essentially reading plays and writing about them, UCAS points will help a lot.

Alternatively, if it's a degree like the one I've just finished, which is a drama school style course in a university setting, it will be a mixture - UCAS points will be a consideration, but evidence of performance experience, a good audition and other factors matter a great deal more. It all depends on what your DD is looking to do.

Just to explain the UCAS points system - most institutions won't say "You need to get ABB", they'll say "You need a minimum of 260 points". They may make subject-specific requests, such as "A minimum of 260 points with a B in Drama", but aside from that, the points can come from anywhere.

So say DD goes for a course which requires 280 UCAS points, not subject specific. That's the equivalent of BBC. However, she could also get it by getting ABD, which is also 280 points.

Or, if she was to get BBD, so 260 points, but then get a Distinction in a LAMDA Grade 6 exam, that's an extra 40 points, taking her up to 320 points and meaning that she meets her offer and gets in.

There's an explanation of how LAMDA converts into UCAS tarriff here

Monologue experience will really be of use to her when it comes to university auditions - you can't audition in a duologue. Maybe at the meeting, suggest that this time, she does the monologue, but demand that next time, she is allowed to take part in the duologue for UCAS points purposes?

It sounds like the other mum is jealous, especially if she is a pushy performance parent, and knows that your DD is hoping to carry it on to university level.

Original poster
Asimovbuff · 11/09/2015 12:41

All good points about the monologue. She's only 12 so maybe not quite confident yet. Girls normally do them when much older. She's been offered to pair up with a girl two years above but dd doesn't want to do this.

OP posts:
jorahmormont · 11/09/2015 12:45

Is it nerves meaning that she doesn't want to pair up with the older girl? Tell her to look at it from an experience point of view - she can pick up some great tips from the older girl, who has presumably been doing the qualifications for longer? She'll have experience to pass on, which your DD can then use to blow these two other girls out of the water :)

TheHouseOnTheLane · 11/09/2015 12:53

It sounds more like DD is feeling ousted because the other two have paired up and her age is a tricky one...to be fair if there are 3 in her group then someone had to be left out.

I'd be focusing on getting her confidence up and explaining that monologues are IT when it comes to acting and auditions. Duologues aren't really even something you do much when you're an actor.