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Original poster

Barrister claiming sexism after Linked-In message

429 replies

Flashbangandgone · 10/09/2015 14:20

AIBU to think she's overreacting somewhat... I'm not sure so I thought I'd check out views on here:

www.bbc.co.uk/newsbeat/article/34206080/linkedin-sexism-row-charlotte-proudman-says-lawyer-used-site-like-tinder

She is clearly very attractive, and she has clearly gone to some trouble to post a photo that emphasises that. If a man compliments her for that, albeit rather clumsily, but nonetheless not in any lewd or crude manner, is that sexist or just a man gently flirting in the hope of a positive response?

If something as relatively innocuous as this appears to be is vilified as sexism, what are the boundaries for men flirting in a work-place environment without risking being charged with sexism? I wonder if her response would have been different if she had been single and she happenned to be attracted to the man making those remarks...

I've a feeling this might be controversial....

OP posts:
Original poster
Flashbangandgone · 10/09/2015 22:02

i'm completely baffled. Why would a man need to tell a woman he was sexually attracted to her in a professional environment?

I don't disagree... The man was being inappropriate to comment in the way he did.

OP posts:
Original poster
Flashbangandgone · 10/09/2015 22:04

One mildly inappropriate comment does not equal sexual harassment!

OP posts:
Foamshrimp · 10/09/2015 22:05

Was his linked in reply a pm?

Boardingblues · 10/09/2015 22:10

I can't believe this story has made the BBC 10:00 News!

For record, I think she was wrong to post on Twitter. She told him that she did not appreciate his message in a PM?? That was her equivalent response to his message. The Twitter post, without anonymising him was wrong.

Scobberlotcher · 10/09/2015 22:11

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

catfordbetty · 10/09/2015 22:13

Disagreement with the prevailing 'wisdom' of this thread does not make someone a "gender traitor".

abbieanders · 10/09/2015 22:14

and I really can't understand how anybody could be seriously offended.

Super. If you're not offended, she has no business being offended either. Issue resolved.

Happfeet2911 · 10/09/2015 22:32

Thank god I worked in london before all this sexist, PC shit was around, it would have ruined all the fun. Do people really have to take things so seriously, it's a bit of fun and if you can't see this you really need to get a grip or go out more!

Original poster
Flashbangandgone · 10/09/2015 22:45

Scobber. Sorry, didn't see comment... What you wrote seems sensible to me.

OP posts:
Scobberlotcher · 10/09/2015 23:00

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

TattyDevine · 10/09/2015 23:03

Have you seen the latest tween from him saying his own daughter is hot? Ewww.

TattyDevine · 10/09/2015 23:03

*tweet

YellowTulips · 10/09/2015 23:16

I think his opening introduction on a professional networking site was not appropriate.

However I think her response was totally disproportionate, in terms of her private email to him and quite frankly utterly unprofessional and extreme in terms of putting it in the public domain.

Any qudos she may have gained by her stance has been totally undermined by the blatent self promotion evident in her response in my view.

Original poster
Flashbangandgone · 10/09/2015 23:22

The fact this man's 59, married and has tweeted a rather creepy tweet about his daughter hasn't done him any favours.

I wonder if those so emphatically supportive on here of Ms Proudman had those comments been written by a 30 something normal single man with no history of dodgy tweets about family members?

OP posts:
Original poster
Flashbangandgone · 10/09/2015 23:24

Sorry last para has a couple of words missing in the middle but I think it's still clear.

OP posts:
Original poster
Flashbangandgone · 10/09/2015 23:25

YellowTulips

Spot on!

OP posts:
amarmai · 10/09/2015 23:58

the incestuous tweet by this father re his daughter is now being used by the op to continue her attack on Ms Proudman? I noticed that you were ignoring the filth he smeared on his d for several pages ,op. Guess it took you a while to figure out how to twist it around.The other nasty twist re self promotion is a new way to attack women who post regarding any sexual bad behaviour. Am recalling the same attack made on the young woman who had to change her route to work because of escalating sh from a man who had already been convicted of such. In fact there are many similarities in the attacks on both these women and in both cases the dirty work is being done by women who apparently identify with men.

InimitableJeeves · 11/09/2015 03:39

OP, there are a large number of messages supporting Ms Proudman both here and on Chat which were posted well before the tweet about the solicitor's daughter became public knowledge: so that blows your point out of the water.

And yes, I for one would still have agreed with her had the message come from a 30 year old single man. I don't think you fully get the point of LinkedIn. It's a site aimed at helping people network professionally, and it is wholly inappropriate to use it to hit on someone who is contacting you in good faith for the purpose the site is meant for. Clearly this man wouldn't have approached another man on LinkedIn in the same way. I really cannot understand why you think sexism becomes instantly acceptable just because the person responsible is young and attractive.

It is the professional context which makes his conduct particularly sleazy. There is a clear implication that he may be prepared to put business her way if she provides the right response to his approaches. I suspect he was looking for a nice flirty reply offering even "better" pictures, herrrr herrrr.

InimitableJeeves · 11/09/2015 03:43

I heard her on the Vanessa F show this am and she sounded so ghastly and po-faced that no one is going to want to employ her for fear of saying the wrong thing and being hauled over the coals.

Cora, I am prepared to bet that those who send her work will carry right on doing so, because she will have gained a lot of respect for being prepared to stand up for herself, and indeed that she will have improved her clientele. As for that stuff about people trembling about "saying the wrong thing": what nonsense. It's perfectly easy to avoid soundlng like a sexist twunt, unless of course you are one.

MrsTrentReznor · 11/09/2015 06:17

Well this morning some of the papers have dug up tweets and comments that she has made objectifying men. "Hot stuff" Ooh lala!" Etc. But it's ok cos she's a female. Wink

Scobberlotcher · 11/09/2015 06:22

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Scobberlotcher · 11/09/2015 06:27

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

BoboChic · 11/09/2015 06:59

I think Charlotte Proudman was absolutely justified in exposing someone who used LinkedIn to hit on her.

JanetBlyton · 11/09/2015 07:04

She has done very well. The point is not to mix work and sex and the man did and the woman didn't.
It has hopefully also made men aware that they should keep the mix separate. There is far too much of this kind of thing going on against women. It happens to us all the time like a dripping tap chipping away at how we are and how we feel because it is constant and yes most of it is minor but it still has an insidious effect.

MrsTrentReznor · 11/09/2015 07:05

She has opened up her whole life to scrutiny by the press because she posted a private message on social media is what I was getting at. Was in a rush to leave the house though.