To think not everyone is cut out for a full time job?

[LidlSoph]

Hi all,

I've had my Accounts Administator job for around 2 months now. I really enjoy what I do, but I feel so overwhelmed and physically/mentally from working 9-5.30, Monday to Friday. I know I'm fortunate to have the job, but that's isn't any consolation really.

Just over 3 weeks ago I had a MC at 10+ weeks, and I've never felt so alone and sad. I'm feeling better each day, although I treasure my baby, but I'm still exhausted and physically/mentally drained. I don't think the MC is the only thing to blame because I've felt this way since week 1 of starting my job!

I won't go into too much detail, but in a nutshell I have a pestering ongoing health condition (that is yet to be diagnosed and treated). This has been going on for 2 years now. Believe me, I've pestered and begged for answers long enough, but no tests are revealing anything and all Doctors seem to be outstanding blas??.

The issue is, I'm pulling my hair out over it because not only is it effecting my work life (vomiting blood into a toilet every half hour or so, taking up lots of time to my bosses announce), but my boss is really pushing and is getting upsettingly impatient and keeps making comments such as "you need to stand your ground and get answers mate" or "why don't you know what's wrong" etc. These things are all very distressing to hear and I just don't know what to do. On one side I get that I'm negatively impacting the company by being sick, but on another it's NOT my fault and there's nothing I can do! My next specialst appointment is in November and my boss is angry and says make it sooner, but that's not possible. I try to take as little time off as I can humanely manage (about 1/2 days a month when I'm so sick I can't walk or need to go to hospital), but my boss gets pissy if I'm really sick at work and asks "why don't you go home" but I cannot because I can't afford to

I feel like forgetting the whole thing and getting a part time job in a supermarket or something! I'm at my wits end, my bones are shaking by the end of the day and I go home and sleep, which works out as me going to bed at around 8.30 after tea, which really concerns my DP.

I was a ludicrously ambitious child but now I'm an adult, I'm just so down. Life is just living whilst I have this job.

What's your advice? Please don't think I've wrote a post to be demanding pitty, sorry if it comes across that way.

Thank you x x x x

im a critical care nurse and I'm quite concerned someone who is vomiting blood several times a day is being managed as an outpatient , have you had an endoscopy? id take yourself to A&E and get this sorted once and for all. you sound too sick to be in work, get a line for a month or so and get your health sorted, you only have one body. You are clearly unwell its not that you can take the pace of full time work.

just read that you have had endoscopies, sounds like you have Mallory weiss tear from excessive vomiting , don't be fobbed off, but the least you can do is get signed off sick while you get to the bottom of things.

Hi again, thank you for all the lovely replies.

Someone suggested nose or throat but that just doesn't add up as I physically purge/strain my stomach and can feel it coming up like when you're severely sick. Aldo, there is a gnawing, burning sensation in my stomach that hurts like hell.

Thank you to the nurse who mentioned Mallory Weiss, I'm writing all this info down and bringing it with me to my next specialist appointment.

It's very difficult but I'll get through!

You poor thing. You don't sound well at all and no wonder you are finding it hard to work. I agree that you may have a tear from excessive vomiting. It seems odd that you aren't vomiting food as well as blood though. Are you eating much?

Hi Marymary,

Food does come up if I've shortly eaten beforehand, yes.

I just got off the phone from my boss to say I won't make it in today, his reply was "yeah fine but we need to see about this going forward, I mean I don't know what to do and you're not really telling me what's wrong/is going on, do you see this working going forward at this time?" (I AM I just don't have a diagnosis). He says he needs answers and I'm try my absolute best, but what can I do. It makes me feel suicidal at times.

What would I do if I got the sack? I wouldn't even be entitled to ESA/SSP.

I do think your boss is being patient - in a very frustrating situation. He could have let you go before now.

Is there any possibility of flexible working/working from home until the problem is resolved? Would the hold the post open while you took leave of absence? He obviously wants to keep you but the unreliable attendance isn't sustainable.

Golly, I'm appalled that you aren't getting answers on your health.

I would second the possibility of it being a ENT issue. Years ago, I had a dental infection. It would bleed sporadically, I would swallow without realising it, then sick up the blood. Gave me tummy pain too. Have you seen a dentist recently? Even if you don't think it fits, it might be worth investigating.

I saw a dentist about 3 months ago. I didn't mention my condition but was given my usual check up and all healthy and clear.

I've never need braces, fillings or crows so they're out of the possibility but a good suggestion.

He isn't really being very patient if he's pressuring me for answers I cannot get, is he? I've explained many times to him that there is a waiting list for appointments and I'm very lucky to have the one I do!

He isn't really being very patient if he's pressuring me for answers I cannot get, is he?

Yes, he is. With such short service, two months, you have had several absences. On top of that, when you are at work, you say you are being vomiting blood every half hour. I understand that is distressing for you, but it must also be distressing for colleagues and disruptive to your colleagues.

I think you have to understand his point of view. He has hired someone to do a job. That person has proved to be good at the job but is unreliable so job isn't being done. Many employers would have sacked you at the first absence. Most would not have let it get this far. As a business owner, your boss has responsibility to all employees, not just one. He has to resolve this in the interests of the business. He has been lenient, if a bit clumsy, to date.

You do not sound as if you should be at work at all. I don't know the benefits system these days but I'm sure if you are not fit for work there must be some benefits you can claim (if your DH earns under a threshold maybe?) Have you looked at the entitled to website?

I'm entitled to SSP (granted I don't get the sack Monday morning when I tell my boss I'll be off sick for the next 2 weeks), and if I am sacked I'm entitled to ESA but there's a medical etc.

I thought about taking a part time job in a shop or something until things improve, but perhaps that isn't wise either.

Have sympathy for you but feel for your boss who is in a difficult position too. Hope things get resolved.