To feel there's something 'wrong' with DD1 at school?

[dontrunwithscissors]

I'm sorry--this will be a long post, but I don't want to drip feed.

DD1 is 8 and has just gone into P4 (in Scotland). She's a bright, articulate, and friendly girl. Halfway through P1, a teacher contacted me and said that she was struggling with reading and they would give her extra support through a new reading programme called 'Read, Write, Inc.' I was promised regular updates, which never happened.

She has continued to struggle with her reading, although she enjoys doing it. I'm really sad to admit that we haven't done as much to support her as we could have. I was very poorly and in/out of hospital during her first 3 years at school. We did spend time with her, but there were some points where DH struggled to keep everything going. DH and I both worked FT. He was in a terrible, bullying company. `I went into her school a couple of times last year to speak to the learning support teacher. I wasn't impressed. She mentioned possible dyslexia and that she would look into this, but later said she wasn't dyslexia. I asked her about DD1's reading age a year ago and whether she was catching up. The teacher said she doesn't know as she has not way of assessing this

She's been in P4 a few weeks and it's clear that she's struggling with all of her work. She's very unhappy and said she's 'not school material' to me last night DH was made redundant 5 weeks ago and I'm much better health-wise. We've had much more time to spend with her on schoolwork. She continues to go to Read, Write, Inc, but that's only 2 x 30 mins a week.

My gut feeling is that there's something else going on. She really struggles with her concentration. She's always been a child who cannot filter out noise or stimulation. She suffers from insomnia and is quite an anxious child. She's very sensitive to other people's emotions and can sometimes feel quite overwhelmed by all these emotions. I feel that her poor concentration is a big part of the problem. She's said to me that she struggles to follow her teacher's instructions because she can't remember them long enough. She works very slowly and gets upset when she doesn't finish her work.

WIBU to go to the school and ask them to make more effort to assess her for additional learning support? I feel she's been pushed aside because she's quiet and doesn't cause trouble. Is this a suitable situation to ask her to be assessed by an educational psychologist?

Dontrunwithscissors, we're in Australia, the school started the ball rolling by referring her to see an educational psychologist, as this was expected to take a while it was recommended that we see a paediatrician as well. The audiologist referral came from the paediatrician, we're very lucky in that the paediatrician has a daughter the same age as mine with the same diagnosis so she gets it from a parents point of view as well as Drs. I'm not sure what the process would be in the UK but you do need an audiologist to make the APD diagnosis official (having that piece of paper makes life easier when trying to get help).

Someone mentioned APD. I have a son who's 32 now, he's dyslexic and also has a diagnosis of APD. My 10 year old granddaughter is also dyslexic and has a diagnosis of APD. The two DX can often go hand in hand.

You said she really struggles with her concentration, has trouble blocking out extraneous sensory information, and has insomnia. Have you considered ADHD? Have skimmed posts and couldn't see anyone mentioning it yet. But these are all huge red flags / 'textbook' symptoms (especially insomnia where the child can't fall asleep, as if unable to 'switch off' racing thoughts, rather than middle of night waking). A lot of people have mentioned APD. I wouldn't rule that out, but ADHD is the more common problem. The good news is that it is one of the few neurological / psychiatric conditions that can be very effectively treated with medication. Some parents aren't comfortable with stimulant medication (though these are old and safe drugs) but there are also dietary interventions you can make (fatty acid and B vitamin supplementation, making sure she has protein at every meal, not skipping breakfast) and useful techniques for helping her to break down tasks (reading but also practical things like getting her school bag ready) into manageable chunks. One of big the problems for children with ADHD can be confidence loss they get frustrated by their own 'silly' mistakes. From the symptoms you describe, I think definitely worth getting a professional assessment. You can ask your GP for a referral to a child psychiatrist who will, of course, also be able to exclude other issues. Dyslexia and ADHD do sometimes go hand in hand, but ADHD is more global and also, you'll be pleased to know, also potentially more temporary a lot of children will develop better executive function in adolescence and 'grow out' of it. By the way, I absolutely don't think it sounds as if these issue have anything to do with your behaviour as parents (or that you sound at all neglectful). A child with true ADHD is going to suffer from some problems with concentration, impulsivity, inattention etc no matter how attentive the parents are.

Has anyone suggested a hearing test?

You need to have a meeting with the HT not just the class teacher. The teacher shortage has been covered by sending Probationer teachers (NQTs) into the worst hit areas and your child may well have had three very inexperienced teachers as well as the mess of supply you mentioned.

I think there is a very real danger in a large Primary class, with inexperienced teachers, that quiet, cooperative children get overlooked simply because they make the fewest demands. There's also a huge fashion in Scottish primaries for "cooperative learning" which is based on lots of timed group tasks and, from the sound of it, may be the worst style of teaching for your daughter.

When you mention problems with reading - is it that she struggles to read aloud with any fluency or that she cannot understand what she has read or both?

dontrunwithscissors
Your dd has indicators of a specific learning difficulty.
-poor auditory memory
-poor visual memory

• discrepancy between knowledge of language and ability to read

-low self esteem I don't understand this very non-specific reading age '5-6'. She needs to get her reading and spelling tested on standardised tests e.g. The Suffolk Reading Test and the SWST Teachers cannot diagnose dyslexia unless they have the appropriate qualifications. You need an assessment by an Ed Psych or SPLD outreach teacher (I've no idea how this happens in Scotland)

Good luck
As a sidenote, I've seen Read Write Inc applied as a whole class literacy programme and produce wonderful results. 30 mins x2 a week is not enough.

OP, I can't help I'm afraid, but just wanted to say that you come across as such a warm, caring parent...your dd may be struggling now, bless her, but with you looking out for her she's going to be just fine.

I'm 43 now but from the age of 7-10 I was a very, very unhappy child at school. No one spoke of depression in children in those days, but looking back I'm convinced I was. I also told my mum that I felt sad all the time and wanted to hide. I was very academic and had no difficulties there, but I did have a severe phobia of vomiting - for me, the other kids were ticking time bombs, so I was afraid to be at school.

My mum and stepdad we're rather victorian, so although mum did her best to be kind, I was generally treated like a badly behaved child and was disciplined at home for being naughty and crying all the time, for begging not to go to school and worrying my parents/teachers. No one ever asked me what was wrong.

Anyway, I turned out alright - I still have the phobia and I take permanent medication, but I'm otherwise pretty well adjusted! Perhaps if I was that 8 year old in 2015, things would be different for me, but oh well.

Your dd has loving and intelligent parents who are well aware that she is unhappy and are doing their utmost for her. I wish my mum had sat me down every night and asked me to spell out my worries! Tell her from me, she won't always feel like this...it will pass and she will be happy again. I hope you get to the bottom of the issue.