SDTGisanevilwolegenius- sorry to here things are not great for you right now.
You of course though- I have yet to cross this bridge, and despite my feelings now, and how I felt when my kids started school I have no idea how I will really feel.
My sister emigrated when she was 17, I was 11. My mother fell into an abyss. She cried every day for years. I would come home from school to find her still in her night clothes, no dinner, breakfast stuff still in the sink, her face read and swollen from crying.
I felt that our family was fractured. Things never really improved.
My father had several major heart attacks which my mother described as a "broken heart"- he became quite ill and died a couple of years later.
I found it a very confusing time, and didn't really understand all of it.
Looking back I think my mother became depressed ( although had never been before that point nor since).
I was angry at my sister for what I thought she had done to my mother, I felt responsible that I wasn't enough on my own to make my mother want to carry on for. I was sad because I too missed my sister, and was very afraid because I knew my father was dying.
I remember it all as a very bleak time, the family felt broken and I knew it could never be fixed.
So now many years have passed and I can see that no-one did anything wrong actually, but although I rationalise things now through adult eyes, I know these emotions are still lurking around somewhere.
Also although my son is off next year I still have a younger daughter. And I will do everything in my power to show her that our family will encompass these changes and that life is certainly still going to be fun after his move.
I owe it to her- as an echo of my younger self- and in having determination to remain positive in order to nurture her, I hope I will also able to nurture my 11 year old self.