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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To think they should have asked him to leave?

66 replies

Skullyton · 06/09/2015 21:39

I had to go to A&E yesterday as my dd decided to run my foot over with a heavy quad bike ride-on, i was sent there by the OOH GP as he was worried i had nerve damage as my foot was numb 24hrs after the incident (im ok, just nasty 'blunt force trauma' soft tissue injuries)

In our A&E everyone has to see the Triage nurse for an initial assessment before they get to any kind of treatment.

As i was sat outside the nurses office i could hear an argument going on.

little girl had grit in her eye and her dad had bought her to A&E and the triage informed him she needed an eye wash, but it'd be at least 60-90 minutes wait to be seen, possibly longer, and said if he didnt want to wait he could get an eye wash from a pharmacy and do it at home.

For a good 15 mins the dad was arguing/ranting about how shit the service was and how he couldn't believe they were advising him to go to to a shop and how disgusting it was that his dd would have to wait over an hour for a 2 minute treatments and demanding they be allowed to jump the queue.

Of course it was politely explained to him that EVERYONE had to wait their turn and it was done in order of priority and as his dd wasn't crying, rubbing her eye or in distress, they'd have to wait...etc

The guy walked out and went to sit down to wait, but then spent the next hour accosting every nurse to complain about the wait and try to wheedle his way to jump the queue, and given the same spiel repeatedly.

Honestly, i felt sorry for the staff, admired the way they didnt lose their cool, but the guy was being an arse and i can't believe they didnt throw him out for his behaviour!

OP posts:

wibbleywee · 06/09/2015 21:48

Welcome to the world of a nhs worker

Original poster

Skullyton · 06/09/2015 21:51

wibbley, i am an A&E frequent flyer... im somewhat accident prone, and this is the first time in my 30+yrs that i've witnessed that level of rudeness!

OP posts:

Triliteral · 06/09/2015 21:55

Presumably they didn't throw him out because it was his child that needed treatment. Not her fault she has an unpleasant father.

GlitzAndGigglesx · 06/09/2015 21:55

I thought working in retail was bad for being spoken to like shit, but NHS staff receive a whole lot more. I admire how calm they stay. When I was in the children's A&E a while back there was a dad also demanding they be seen before everyone else for his sons eye infection. His tone was shocking

SurlyCue · 06/09/2015 21:57

NHS staff are saints to put up with what they do. My mum is one along with other family members and she often suggests i would be a good nurse. I can 100% assure everyone i have nowhere near the patience required to deal with half of what she deals with.

wankerchief · 06/09/2015 22:16

A few months back I was in for a few days with ds2 for his asthma.

Anyways a nurse came over to the bed next to me to explain to a woman that her daughter's. Operation had be pushed back a few hour due to an emergency.
Woman goes mad and starts screaming.
Nurse calmly explains that because her daughter is non life threatening and not in pain she been pushed for a very serious emergency.
Woman shouts more and then spat, yes spat, right in the nurse face

I can honestly say would of floored the woman but the nurse calmly walked off washed her face at the basin and called security.

I couldn't do that job

wibbleywee · 06/09/2015 22:19

Op you are obviously very lucky not to have witnessed anything like it in the last 30yrs but take it from someone who work within emergency medicine, that sort of behaviour is common

GloGirl · 06/09/2015 22:20

I was in A&E the other week and heard someone complaining, well actually I couldn't hear what they were saying but I heard the doctor or nurse very loudly parenting explaining "Yes there have been a lot of emergencies this is accident and emergency and walked off

Fluffyears · 06/09/2015 22:51

It's a pain to wait but it's how it works. I once did let a small child go ahead of me because she was distressed and I only had mild concussion.

Onedirectionarestillloved · 06/09/2015 22:58

Wankercheif- if someone spat in my face I would honestly punch them hard in the face what a c*.

5Foot5 · 06/09/2015 23:54

What self-centred arseholes some people can be?

Today we have been out at a major leisure event attended by a very large number of people. By about 7pm nearly everyone was leaving. We decided to have a bit of a walk before getting in the car since it was pretty obvious that with thousands of people all trying to leave at the same time it was going to be congested.

Sure enough there was a long, long line of traffic and many "tributaries" to this line from various car parks. There were lots of marshalls who were doing their best to direct the traffic and get people out in a reasonable way; they were using radios to communicate with each other and there was clearly a lot of organization in place to try to get this done as smoothly as possible. Nevertheless, with so much traffic it was inevitable there were delays.

We were shocked at the people we saw who were abusing the marshalls and losing their temper. One guy (with children in the car) was leaning on his horn and shouting loudly that the poor marshall was a "knob head" and complaining he had been trying to get out for an hour. Well, yes. So have all the other thousands of cars - what did he expect? How is this the fault of the poor guy trying to give everyone a fair chance of getting out?

kali110 · 07/09/2015 00:02

Yes i was in a&e recently and one of the blokes who takes the patients to and from departments ( can't for life of me remember their names!) told me how the night before they had a guy in who was angry, possibly pissed who threw up everywhere and threw things at the doctors and nurses!
Yes hospital care is not always good ( conversation i overheard shocked me) but there is no need for violence and agression.

Fatmomma99 · 07/09/2015 00:04

60-90 minutes???????

It's 4 - 6 hours here, even if it's serious. Honestly. and that's at the non-busy times. WAAAAAAY longer on a Fri or Sat night!

Really 60 - 90 minutes? You don't know you're born. I'm assuming a REALLY shit hospital, with a local reputation that they kill people, with an alternative nearby-ish, or our somewhere like the Shetlands with a population of 20 people and some cows!

You are soooo lucky!

Fatmomma99 · 07/09/2015 00:05

60-90 minutes???????

It's 4 - 6 hours here, even if it's serious. Honestly. and that's at the non-busy times. WAAAAAAY longer on a Fri or Sat night!

You are soooo

Fatmomma99 · 07/09/2015 00:08

sorry for the double post. Not sure what happened there!

But also to add, we wait longer than that at the same hospital with an appointment (eg, DD breaks a limb [she has sadly done this 3 times], so a trip to A&E, see above wait, confirm it's broken, a temporary cast and then back for a SCHEDULED appointment for the cast and each time the appointment - timed and with an appointment card, we waited more than 60 -90).

BTW, our hospital has a fabulous reputation, and I wouldn't slag them off at all, other than the parking!

KanyeWestPresidentForLife · 07/09/2015 00:13

Oh God. I went to my local children's hospital a few months back I was seen in 15 minutes. I must be really lucky!

BackforGood · 07/09/2015 00:13

I was thinking the sames as fatmomma - 60-90mins would be a short wait in A&E, surely ?

Longdistance · 07/09/2015 00:31

I waited all of 2 minutes to be seen at A&E. They have a separate children's dept, so I assume that's why we were quick with dd2 and a foreign body up her nose.

SantasLittleMonkeyButler · 07/09/2015 00:42

Our local A&E is approximately 45-60 minutes wait for triage and then anything from 60 minutes to 3 hours to see a Dr or have whatever treatment you need - depending on how busy the department is.

Obviously really serious cases are seen more quickly, as they should be, but everyone else has to wait no matter who they are or what they've gone in with.

SantasLittleMonkeyButler · 07/09/2015 00:45

And to answer your question, as far as I am aware, they cannot refuse treatment so could not ask him to leave.

Maybe if there had been another adult to wait with the child then they might, but their priority would have had to be the little girl's eye. No matter how much they must have felt like telling him to sod off!

TheCatsFlaps · 07/09/2015 00:49

Honestly, he could have been to the fucking pharmacy and given her the bastard eyebath in the time it took him to get so precious. Twat.

ChopsticksandChilliCrab · 07/09/2015 00:49

Shocking stories. Perhaps if people had to pay a fee to use the service, like elsewhere in the world, they would appreciate it and would behave.

Even having to pay up front and then being able to claim back might do the trick.

Straycatblue · 07/09/2015 01:40

As an NHS worker....

We cannot refuse treatment, even if they are abusive, aggressive and physically violent. We can involve the police and get them charged when they assault/threaten us (although they usually get off and there is no support from the nhs) but we still have to treat their injuries/illness even after they have abused and assaulted us or our colleagues because it is their right to treatment.

We also have patients that frequently attend and abuse and assault staff every time they attend and we have to treat them every time they come in because the nhs still won't refuse to treat patients even if they are known to be regularly dangerous to staff.

If you have never seen that sort of behaviour before you are extremely lucky, what you witnessed is mild compared to the daily abuse and aggression and violence that an a&e worker has to deal with.

cocobean2805 · 07/09/2015 02:29

My DH waited 4 hours last week to have his ear glued back together. Bleeding all over himself. He was chastised by the a+e nurse for letting the blood clot on his ear as it made it harder to clean, he joked with her that there wasnt much he could do about that. It's a free service and we are incredibly lucky to have it. He wasn't pleased he had to wait, but neither did he complain about it. There wasn't a nurse spare to see to him as there has been a big accident and recus was full. I'm just grateful he was able to walk in there and then walk back out, some aren't so fortunate.

Baconyum · 07/09/2015 03:01

I was at our local a&e recently. Bad burn. 4hr 45 min wait not ideal, not fun, was in a fair amount of pain but I could see it was busy and the way ours is set up you can see emergency ambulance arrivals from the waiting area.

Meanwhile a pair of junkies one with a sprained wrist that could easily have been treated at home/with advice from a pharmacist were harassing the receptionist to get seen sooner because they'd be late for the dealer and he'd be angry they even butted in while 2 men enquired after a lady admitted for a suspected heart attack by ambulance. Looked like her husband and son, husband elderly and frail himself.

Once in cubicles I could hear them dealing with someone they apparently knew of old, was drunk, had injured himself as a result and refused to sit still while they stitched him.

Sorry may not be PC but I'd be perfectly happy with people like this being booted out!

As to the OP difficult when a child involved. Would be good if NHS staff were allowed to insist another adult come and assist and get rid of the arsehole who was probably making his dd distressed/embarrassed too!

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