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AIBU?

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Original poster

To think they should have asked him to leave?

66 replies

Skullyton · 06/09/2015 21:39

I had to go to A&E yesterday as my dd decided to run my foot over with a heavy quad bike ride-on, i was sent there by the OOH GP as he was worried i had nerve damage as my foot was numb 24hrs after the incident (im ok, just nasty 'blunt force trauma' soft tissue injuries)

In our A&E everyone has to see the Triage nurse for an initial assessment before they get to any kind of treatment.

As i was sat outside the nurses office i could hear an argument going on.

little girl had grit in her eye and her dad had bought her to A&E and the triage informed him she needed an eye wash, but it'd be at least 60-90 minutes wait to be seen, possibly longer, and said if he didnt want to wait he could get an eye wash from a pharmacy and do it at home.

For a good 15 mins the dad was arguing/ranting about how shit the service was and how he couldn't believe they were advising him to go to to a shop and how disgusting it was that his dd would have to wait over an hour for a 2 minute treatments and demanding they be allowed to jump the queue.

Of course it was politely explained to him that EVERYONE had to wait their turn and it was done in order of priority and as his dd wasn't crying, rubbing her eye or in distress, they'd have to wait...etc

The guy walked out and went to sit down to wait, but then spent the next hour accosting every nurse to complain about the wait and try to wheedle his way to jump the queue, and given the same spiel repeatedly.

Honestly, i felt sorry for the staff, admired the way they didnt lose their cool, but the guy was being an arse and i can't believe they didnt throw him out for his behaviour!

OP posts:
Original poster
Skullyton · 07/09/2015 07:47

The triage nurse is kind of a gatekeeper at our A&E, the OOH dr is on site, so if anyone comes in who doesn't need A&E they're made to phone the OOH from the A&E waiting room and get an appt over there!

It was quite a short wait for there though, especially for a saturday afternoon, i've been sat there for 2-3hrs before.

OP posts:
HackerFucker22 · 07/09/2015 08:36

I've been to A&E 3 times with DS (twice by ambulance and once as advised by GP - this was the most serious issue actually).

The last time we were in [ambulance] we had kids arrive after us who were seen before us. A good few kids in fact.... A couple who were 'walk in' and another who arrived via ambulance not sure if arriving by ambulance makes a difference? but none of whom were - to my knowledge - seriously ill.

Couldn't work it out but we patiently waited our turn, thanked the Dr's and nurses who did see us and left without a negative word. Although I was pretty close to asking - very politely of course - why we were not being seen when later arrivals were.

My mil is a nurse, sil is a hcp and I have a few friends who have roles in NHS... so e of the stories they tell make me ashamed of human kind!

WhyCantIuseTheNameIWant · 07/09/2015 08:41

Ds spent 3 hours in a&e yesterday. Suspected broken wrist.

I took him, with dd (2).

Yes, we had to wait. It seemed to be 'broken footballers' day...

Most people were polite. I tried my best to keep dd quiet ( poor kid woke with a cold), took a couple of toys for her. And a drink.

These nhs staff are there to help mend broken people. They will usually try and do their best. It's a hard job, made worse by these entitled people.

Even ds, in pain, manages to say please and thank you!

Dd did the same when they checked her over when she climbed out of her cot.

We have a special snowflake mummy of an 11 ds. She seems to think he must jump all queues as he had asthma once. Several years ago.

Both my dcs were in the the waiting room for emergency doctors apps. They both had ear infections. One crying quietly on each arm being cuddled for the pain. Yes, they were both hurting a lot and crying, but not disturbing anybody.

Then they waltz in, spesh snowflake runs to an empty chair, breathing fine. Mum is shouting at receptionist for emergency emergency... Asthma.

Yes, I know asthma can be dangerous. Even fatal. But from what I have seen, people suffering from an attack don't generally run and climb on seats?
They try to sit and control their breathing with a puffer until they can get help?

Anyway, big thank you to the emergency staff who helped us yesterday. And the ones who keep helping us hapless humans. Some of us are really greatful and try to make your lives easier. Even with a grouchy toddler.

Bollicks · 07/09/2015 08:47

In a nutshell, the NHS is fucked.

Reubs15 · 07/09/2015 08:51

There are so many rude people!
That waiting isn't long at all. I was waiting 5 hours when I was pregnant and bleeding and in pain. I got told "well if you're losing the baby there's nothing we can do anyway so you won't be high up the list". I did lose the baby which was awful anyway but their lack of sensitivity made it worse (doctor was awful to me).
We went for a scheduled appointment for my son at the hospital we waited 2 hours. But neither of these times were we rude to the staff! It isn't their fault!
What annoys me is I have a couple of friends whose partners are doctors and their kids go to the front of the queue regardless of the severity of their condition.

msrisotto · 07/09/2015 09:01

The NHS is not fucked. Its more cost efficient than America's insurance system for one thing.

Pteranodon · 07/09/2015 09:06

Yes the NHS is superbly efficient and much better than an insurance-based system. But it could really improve with more funding.

3littlefrogs · 07/09/2015 09:06

The thing that irritates me (I am a nurse) is how few people have any basic first aid knowledge (or even any common sense) and go to A&E for things the pharmacist could deal with. Sad These people are often the ones who are most aggressive/unreasonable.

Pteranodon · 07/09/2015 09:07

Including more money for admin and for management training.

listsandbudgets · 07/09/2015 09:29

A&E are very good at prioritising according to need.

I have had to take DD a few times. The first time I think they decided rightly I was an over anxious mother and kept us waiting 5 hours by which time dd was fine Blush

The second time the receptionist took one look at her, called a nurse and they had her on a drip within 10 minutes of us arriving. Bizarrely they never diagnosed her but they did look after her very well while whatever it was worked its way through her :( The sad thing was though I over heard a woman saying loudly to the receptionist and obviously meant to be heard by me.... "they've only just got here why should we have to wait its f*ciking mad we've been here for hours?"

MaidOfStars · 07/09/2015 10:39

The couple of times I've presented to A&E (under my own steam), I've been seen immediately. I don't think I was triaged on either occasion.

This is not a good thing Hmm

MaidOfStars · 07/09/2015 10:41

(The second time, I was in the waiting room for about 2 mins. I can imagine it pissed some people off, seeing a grown female with no apparent injury wander straight through).

QuestioningStuff · 07/09/2015 11:35

I had to go with DS2 recently who was premature and has various problems that may not be immediately obvious. We were seen immediately and a woman absolutely erupted saying she'd been waiting 2 hours why do we get 'special treatment'.

I was shaking and crying as I brought my baby in, scared that he'd stop breathing. If you're made to wait that long you should be thankful that you or your child are not on deaths door for you to need to be seen immediately. Yes it's a pain in the bum and I've had times when I've had to wait for hours and hours but I know there will be a god reason for that.

It does annoy me when people go to a&e for every slight sniffle.

BarbarianMum · 07/09/2015 12:20

I've been to A&E with the kids 8 times over the years (just counted). On six of these occasions we had to wait ages. The other two we were seen straight away.

Being seen straight away is really, fucking scary cause it means your child is either badly injured or really sick. Personally, I'd rather hang around for hours with a whiny toddler with an injured arm/cut head/etc.

Witchend · 07/09/2015 12:55

I've done everything from be seen immediately at A&E through to being there 8 hours later.

I think the ones that irritate me most are the ones who seem to think it's a family outing.

We had a 17yo (know her age as she made a fuss about being put in the children's department) with a very small cut on her thigh, who came with brother, both parents, aunt and grandparent. All large, all insisted on a seat. When you bear in mind there are only about 20 seats and this was a very busy Friday night (this was the 8 hour wait one) this seemed a little selfish. There was one mother with her very young baby that was trying to breastfeed standing up at one point.

Then there was the mother who bought her daughter who'd fallen off the bed. Apparently her younger brother wanted to come so she brought him too. He was in school uniform, so at least reception age, and proceeded to initially rush round the room at top speed deliberately knocking all the leaflets/books onto the floor. After that he collected every single toy in the waiting room by force and defended them aggressively. At about 11pm, he started whingeing he was thirsty. So his mum went out, leaving both children and returned with a can of coke which she proceeded to pour into a bottle for him to drink. Boy did I judge!
It was about this point they took pity on ds (about 18 months) who was trying to sleep and being disturbed every few minutes by the racket this child was making, and gave us a side room to wait in.

The problem was really that neither of them really needed to be there so they were downgraded a lot, so were there a long time. I also was there on both occasions with a child who needed to be seen but wasn't in immediate pain or danger, so I was also low on the list.

It's not unreasonable to bring extra children if you have no child care. And both parents if it's something serious is totally understandable. But please, A&Es are not places to bring extra people because they want to.

InimitableJeeves · 07/09/2015 13:01

As a matter of interest, do you have a drop-in centre near you? If so it would have made more sense for the little girl to be taken there. Our local drop-in centre provides an absolutely superb service for minor illnesses and injuries, and as they don't deal with emergencies waiting times are usually better than A&E.

googoodolly · 07/09/2015 13:04

These threads remind me of this.

To think they should have asked him to leave?
InimitableJeeves · 07/09/2015 13:05

It obviously didn't occur to this idiot that the more he took up the nurses' time whinging at them, the less time they had to treat patients and therefore the longer his wait would be.

TheHouseOnTheLane · 07/09/2015 13:15

He may not have had the money to buy an eyewash at the pharmacy.

HippyChickMama · 07/09/2015 13:23

I'm an A&E nurse and we see far worse behaviour than in the op. I've seen colleagues assaulted, threatened (one with a knife held to her throat!), we've had patients causing criminal damage to the actual department (doors pulled off hinges!). Those that have said violent and aggressive patients cant be refused treatment, yes they can, we've had them removed by the police before. As long as they have the capacity to understand what they are doing and their illness or injury isn't life threatening. We also have several patients who aren't allowed to attend our hospital unless they are seriously ill and deemed to be so by an ambulance. I've been threatened myself while I was heavily pregnant with dd, by the husband of a patient, because there was no bed on a ward for her that very second. I've also come out of an unsuccessfulpaediatric cardiac arrest to have someone complain that they had been waiting an hour and no one had seen them and their sore throat!

EauPea · 07/09/2015 13:26

TheHouse Surely a childs prescription would be free?

ChickenTikkaMassala · 07/09/2015 13:29

If he couldn't afford the eye wash it doesn't mean that he could be a cunt.

Toughasoldboots · 07/09/2015 13:33

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

OhFuckWhatHaveIDone · 07/09/2015 13:33

The thing that irritates me (I am a nurse) is how few people have any basic first aid knowledge (or even any common sense) and go to A&E for things the pharmacist could deal with. These people are often the ones who are most aggressive/unreasonable.

Is this so surprising? If you grow up in an environment that causes you to have little or no ability to care for yourself or understand what is the right thing to do, it is not particularly unlikely that a) you will react out of fear due to feeling shut out and powerless and b) you will have learned that acting aggressively is one of the only ways you can get what you want and/or respond to the fear you feel.

Sidge · 07/09/2015 13:34

It's not just A&E. I'm a practice nurse and we had an elderly chap collapse in the surgery waiting room.

As my colleague and I were doing CPR on him (unfortunately in the middle of the waiting room as we couldn't move him) I had a patient step over me mid chest compressions to ask how much longer she was going to have to wait to see the nurse (i.e. me).

Nothing fails to surprise me any more after nursing for 20 years.