SIL using us as a courier service!

[uppereastsidemom]

SIL asked DH if she could get a gift delivered to us (we're in the U.S.) for her DDs birthday. We'd post it home, and do this for other family members, (DH's family only, as my family are considerate of how hectic I am and wouldn't ask).

DH checked with me (as I'm home with the two DC at the moment and he works long hours so realistically I would have to collect the package and post it on) and I said of course.

I came home (juggling toddler in buggy, baby in sling, and bags of shopping, in 90 degree heat) to have to pick up a massive parcel addressed to DH. I opened it as I had no idea what it was (checked with DH first obviously) to find 8 (!) almost identical sweatshirts, as well as a few other birthday gift type items. AIBU to think that SIL is taking the piss in ordering multiple sweatshirts meant clearly for my nieces friends? I'm back to work next week and feel like saying no to any more deliveries for any of his family.

I think YABU. She asked if she could send a parcel, and you agreed. It's precious to quibble about her having ordered a few extra items (which you don't actually know are not for you niece anyway). I think you're looking for things to fall out over. If she started ordering parcels to your house on a regular basis, that would be a different matter.

Please do make sure you don't tick gift on the customs label when you eventually get time to post it on maybe later in the autumn when it is much cooler. When she loses out financially by being hit by all the changes she should leave you alone :o

Why all the passive-aggressive bollocks? Just send the parcel as agreed and say you can't do it any more.

"I imagine the intention is to mark it as a gift for the niece"

Yep, and she might get away with not paying import-duty and VAT if it was a couple of shirts. But not eight!

I know from personal experience that ordering a couple of CDs from the US will probably get in duty & VAT not charged but a decent number always will whether they're marked as a gift or not. The limit seems to be about three.

I have an artist friend in Chicago who writes about his experiences in various post offices there on FaceBook as he mails stuff out almost daily. It's hilarious if it's not you waiting, waiting, waiting in an endless line. Honestly, it's not like here, not even on pension day.

say no in future, yes, you'll be too busy & getting to the post office outside of your work hours is impossible.

Did she tell you that you couldn't send it surface mail, would save you a lot of dosh at least.

Yes indeed, one sweatshirt alone would cost more than $10.

In order to forward the package in the post office she would have needed to rip off the previous address label, stick on a new one, and go over all bar codes and the previous postage with black marker, then fill out the correct customs declaration (there are different forms depending on size of package) without even knowing what the heck was in the package, which would be clearly originating from a commercial vendor and properly sealed by that vendor. The customs declaration requires details of the contents of the package and their value, and there are penalties for falsifying information. Then she would have had to stand in line again with her package and her small children, and try to get the package past a suspicious PO employee.

There is no such ting as 'in and out' when it comes to busy city post offices in the States, and 'problems with storage ' are related to the general lack of square footage in the average NY apartment, which are compounded by having a baby and toddler and all their junk.

Yes indeed this was all planned by SIL to avoid paying import duty to HMRC.

Op-does your SIL expect you to find the postage?

For some reason it took me a while to understand this and I am still not entirely sure I have grasped it. Are you saying that SIL lives in UK and ordered something from a US company. Rather than pay P+P to UK she had it delivered to you and then expects you to cover the cost of posting it to UK?

If so then YANBU at all and your SIL is massively cheeky. And even if you did agree to this for what you expected to be a small package I can see why you would be annoyed to realise she was taking advantage and using you as a free importer of goods for her.

Some USA companies just refuse to ship outside of the USA at all, and some only offer super-expensive shipping. Its not that uncommon to ask to have items forwarded by friends in the USA.

There is no surface shipping from US to UK any more. I used to shop early and post presents for the family from US to UK then one year I was told in the Post Office it was all Air Mail. Bloody rip off. Cost me about $10 for one calendar due to its size not its weight.
I'd probably post out this last box only if she's paying the postage, then say no more if she's taking the piss.