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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU to think that Iceland food isn't poisoning my child...?

132 replies

RoystonVaseySmegHead · 05/09/2015 21:30

A bit long, sorry Grin
yesterday I was at DGP's house, with a bag of shopping from Iceland.. Chinese food (Saturday night 'takeaway') and a bag of smiley faces for me (haven't had them since primary school!!) and DGM was horrified and wouldn't stop going on about how Iceland food was all convenience food, the wrong kinds of food and that I 'was setting my son up for a bad future' she also seemed to think I don't cook and don't feed my son 'proper' food and vegetables!! WTF I can and do thanks I really don't know whether she's right and I'm a crappy mum (not her words but the way she was talking to me about it seemed like that was her opinion) I'm a bit upset about it... I love her to bits but she's quite a my way or the highway sort of person and I usually end up doubting myself after these sorts of discussions with her.. Especially as my lads a big boy (size 4-5 clothes at 2.5yo) and he's got to go back to the children's centre next month to make sure his heights caught up with his weight but he's about 100/101cm tall now and 22kg... So now I'm feeling really guilty and a bit of a crap mum Sad
Is Iceland food really bad? Ds usually has cereal/toast for breakfast then a sandwich or sometimes hoops/beans/ravioli on toast with sweet corn or peas for lunch and a meat, carbs and veg tea before he goes to bed.. Is that a really bad diet for him?

OP posts:
TripTrapTripTrapOverTheBridge · 05/09/2015 23:27

The price of chicken breasts is ridiculous in shops now, especially Tesco! I was shocked last time I saw the price of them!! The problem with chicken and other meats is that often the cheaper ones from shops are a bit of a false economy because they are pumped up to make them heavier and you don't get as much meat for your money as you think you are.

Surprisingly, decent meat is often cheaper from a butcher -certainly cheaper than the Tesco chicken breasts! I pay around £1 per chicken breast that averages around 200 (sometimes more) raw

Greengardenpixie · 05/09/2015 23:31

Yes, agree with the water thing generally. Bacon is one of the worst offenders. I just cant get it to be the way it used to be as its so full of water it refused to crisp up. very annoying. I often buy meat from the reduced part in asda or tescos. very often good bargains that can be frozen!!!!

Greengardenpixie · 05/09/2015 23:32

Yes, agree with the water thing generally. Bacon is one of the worst offenders. I just cant get it to be the way it used to be as its so full of water it refused to crisp up. very annoying. I often buy meat from the reduced part in asda or tescos. very often good bargains that can be frozen!!!!

I cant really get to the butchers sadly!

MiscellaneousAssortment · 05/09/2015 23:35

I'd check portion sizes first, as it's easy to over feed children if they havent developed a natural stop when they're full.

A portion is just one fist size amount, that's the size of their fist, not a grownups, which is actually not a lot!

I used to be very reassuring and accepting when posters asking about their childs size/ eating, especially when they said their child was tall and therefore in proportion. And I am still supportive, just not quite so quick to assume that parents have such an accurate sense of body shape for a child.

The change is because I met someone in real life recently who said the same, and I thought fine, sounds reasonable, her son is about a foot taller than mine (& mine is 91 percentile), and just a completely different shape to mine and the other kids I know. But he's healthy, active and strong, not to mention just beautiful & good natured :)

I didn't really think about it until one day I saw him with his top off and was quite taken aback to see him - he was properly chunky, and big, with a thick layer of fat all over. Kind of half a big toddler body crossed with a bulky rugby playing grown up.

So not fat in the way that you / we/ people tend to imagine a fat child to be, with a big belly or a waddle, getting breathless etc, but really, way too heavy and too much fat for a child. They aren't supposed to have any of that fat layer on them. Young kids are naturally a very different shape from adults, or toddlers. They are skinny, rangy, with visible ribs & spine. On an adult that would be too slim, but on a young child, it's what they're supposed to be, allowing for some differences due to body type etc.

I'm afraid the child I'm talking about is very overweight, no matter what his parents think, and to make matters a little more awkward, he routinely demands snacks off my son and tends to eat all the snacks ive put in DS bag for after school clubs, even when I started to put in extra so ds could share. Argh, so tricky, poor kid, and poor parents too.

That's going to be so hard to get back from, as now he's a bit older than your son (a couple of years), it's harder to control food going in & help change food habits without disrupting their relationship with food.

If your son does turn out to be over weight, I think it's a good thing you've seen it while he's still little and you can stabilise weight and he'll grow into it naturally.

It's so hard as theres so much shame around being overweight. It's become a moral judgement and an acceptable excuse to treat people badly, make them feel small. And that's a large part of the problem, it's such a terrible thing to be, people don't want to believe it or admit it, and then it makes it even harder to deal with it.

So I want to make it clear there's NO value judgements from me happening here, but an observation about how hard it is to recognise, and then deal with in a practical, low key positive way.

Good luck whatever turns out to be the case

antimatter · 05/09/2015 23:45

3 st 1 lb is 19.5 kg

you can check his centile here www.rcpch.ac.uk/system/files/protected/page/A4%20Boys%200-4YRS%20(4th%20Jan%202013).pdf

it looks like he is likely to be on the top centile but all depends how he bears his weight, is he chubby and of course if in family there are tall men he is likely to be on the top centile fo rhis height but his weight IMHO should be lower.

I would however stop feeding him any food with sugar such as tea, yoghurt or dried fruit. It will pay in long term if he doesn't develop sweet tooth.

CadleCrap · 05/09/2015 23:55

If you are 6'5" and 15 stone, your BMI is 24, so not over weight. But your DS is.

BlackeyedSusan · 06/09/2015 00:01

carrots, onions and tinned tomatoes are all cheap and make a base for many a sauce.

using lentils instead of mince, which is not that healthy is fine. cereals are fortified with iron. (red lentils take about 20 minutes to cook and are really cheap. to buy)

food does not have to be cooked to make it healthy. if he eats bits of cold healthy food that is better than hot ready meals which are often full of crap

switch to healthier options. cut back gradually so tastes change without the yeurch of a rapid change. (i used to prefer beef bolognaise now prefer lentil Shock never thought I would)

W00t · 06/09/2015 00:18

Chicken thighs are likely to be cheaper than breasts, and much tastier, more protein too.

Pico2 · 06/09/2015 00:24

I was concerned when DD was 23kg at 115cm. It turned out to be inside the healthy weight section of bmi, but not by much. I think a child weighing 1kg less but 15cm less would be obviously very overweight.

Singsongsungagain · 06/09/2015 00:26

I do think his diet is awful (sorry) and I'm totally with your GPs here. Ditch the processed junk and make your own. It's cheaper anyway! I fill my freezer at weekends with homemade meals that can be defrosted during the week very quickly. We don't eat any of what you describe really. No ready meals at all and no 'potato shapes' or (presumably) tinned ravioli. If we use beans we buy the low salt/sugar ones and most definitely water or milk only to drink (our 9 year old still only drinks water or milk!).

Diet is so important to a growing child and part of the reason you have a picky eater is because you've allowed him to get a taste for junk.

BrandNewAndImproved · 06/09/2015 00:34

I'm just popping on to.defend iceland.

Their grading for frozen f&v is one of the highest. They have a non gmo policy (or used to) fish is responsibly sourced and all shops sell crap.

I had diamanté hoop earing, with a dolly on a chain and white eyeshadow. Grin so unfair teenagers today go straight to bloody Mac and having their eyebrows and eyelashes done.

trollkonor · 06/09/2015 09:04

Wouldn't the food be defrosting while you were visiting? I would visit first and then go shopping.

RoystonVaseySmegHead · 06/09/2015 09:26

Troll , I asked to use their freezer before I went, and sing he isn't a fussy eater at all, he's just stubborn as an ox. When we last got him measured and weighed the HV did say she thought he was going to grow a lot (he was 98cm when we went 2 months ago). I'll stop giving him sugary things but could he still have weak sugar free dilute? Water round here's minging and HV suggested milk only before he goes to bed. He has plastic tesco plates that are about 20cm diameter, but I don't give him full plates if that makes sense?

OP posts:
Gileswithachainsaw · 06/09/2015 09:28

sugar free is no good either as it's got sweeteners in.

the body reacts to sweeteners the same way as it reacts to sugar.

fastdaytears · 06/09/2015 09:33

Royston there are some parts of the country where I really don't like the tap water so I totally feel your pain there! There's super cheap bottled water around though basics/value ones are nice, don't know if Iceland has one.
I'm not sure why your HV is suggesting limiting milk but he/she must have a reason.
2 is very young for artificial sweeteners.

Chippednailvarnish · 06/09/2015 09:42

Why don't you ask your HV if there are any local organisations that offer nutritional advice to families?

trollkonor · 06/09/2015 09:50

Royston
I see Grin the thought of defrosting peas was making me twitch Grin

fastdaytears · 06/09/2015 09:54

Oh and on a 20cm plate there should be a lot of space, if you think how small your DS's fist is that's the serving of the good stuff. So I think the suggestion about plate size is to go smaller so it doesn't seem like he's having a tiny amount. It's meant to work on us dieting adults too but I like to think I'm harder to trick! Maybe not!

RoystonVaseySmegHead · 06/09/2015 10:00

fast I'm not sure but he was drinking 70% milk and 30% water because it's really horrible so HV said cut down on milk and just give him water thru day but he'd only drink like a tippy cup of water in a day so tried with half a cap of dilute and he drank 2 full tippys... I could boil the water first but it doesn't taste that much nicer and heard all the vits and minerals get boiled out?

OP posts:
RoystonVaseySmegHead · 06/09/2015 10:02

And there is always about half a plate of empty space because if he hasn't played with his food and smushed it round the plate he's not happy and I was sick of sweeping lost peas up everyday Grin

OP posts:
Gileswithachainsaw · 06/09/2015 10:22

I'd honesty buy cheap bottled water. they are only allowed water at pre school or school so best to get him.in habit now.

filling up on milk won't be good fir encouraging him to eat better.

wonder of freezing the water then drinking when it's really really cold would make.ot taste better?

fastdaytears · 06/09/2015 10:24

25p for 2 litres at the moment:

groceries.iceland.co.uk/shepley-spring-still-water-2-litre/p/3557

But I also like Giles idea of having tap water really cold. Everything tastes better cold!

mummytime · 06/09/2015 10:51

If the water is awful - try a water filter - much cheaper than bottled, and if you get a fridge one you can even have cold water.
If he's overweight I'd think about using semi skimmed milk (just as nutritious and most people can cope with it).
If peas are making a mess try beans and carrots. Baked bean on toast is better than Ravioli etc. on toast.

Herbal teas are probably okay - Rosehip is quite a nice taste.

If he likes fish in sauce, then you can easily buy fish steaks, and add your own sauce (a blob of Philadelphia can make a simple o, you can even use the lower fat versions), and it doesn't have to be drowning in sauce. Its even better to add a blob of real butter rather than use a butter sauce.

rainbowunicorn · 06/09/2015 10:58

Op his diet really is pretty crap.
The cereal in the morning is just sugary processed rubbish, try porridge made with rolled oats (not the readybreak or oat sachet type).
Natural yogurt with fruit is a good breakfast however the crap yogurts aimed at children are just full of sugar so no good for them.

The hoops, ravioli, beans on toast again is processed junk. I hate to imagine the mechanically recovered sludge that passes for meat in the filling of the ravioli. All of these choices are full of sugar and salt and pretty unhealthy.

If you are using packet mixes or jarred sauces etc then again they are full of nasties such as sugar, salt and additives.

Never add sugar to drinks for a child or sprinkle it on cereal etc there is no need.

Buy bottled water if the tap water is awful you can get large 5 litre containers for under £1.

Even if your child was not overweight the amount of processed junk food that he eats is unhealthy and may well cause him many health problems in later life.

BrandNewAndImproved · 06/09/2015 11:06

My dc always had squash op, my dd would end up drinking absolutely nothing in nursery as she would refuse water or milk. I know all about stubborn eaters Grin

Ice cubes and a straw did it. She now drinks water but still prefers squash but at least will drink water if I say it's water only.

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