"Compliment" from a man. Feminist issue?

[Roobix04]

Out dancing last night with my two sisters when a very drunk man approached my younger sister. He asked her if she was ginger and when she said yes he told her that he was the best looking red head he'd ever seen.
My little sister smiled politely and said thank you and then we all sort of turned away to make it clear we weren't interested in talking. He repeated it again and then said he'd leave us alone.
The problem is my older sister was really annoyed. She said that it smacked of negging and he shouldn't be allowed to think that's a compliment no matter how harmless he was. My little sister said there's nothing wrong with being polite and there's no need to be a bitch when someone compliments you. This descended into a discussion about men thinking it's ok to hand out unwanted compliments in the form of cat calls.
I can see both their points and was leaning more towards my older sisters point but I changed the subject before an argument started. So who was being unreasonable?

smug it's not as innocent as that. It's designed to make women feel knocked off balance. A compliment and an insult, this puts an insecure woman (if she's not wise to it) in the mode of approval seeking.

These socially awkward men deliberately target women they think will be insecure. They don't care if they damage somebody's self-esteem or make her feel bad. The goal is to 'get sex' from women who normally wouldn't look at them.

Urbane I think PUA attracts a lot of men who may be on the autism spectrum (undiagnosed...my AS brother has been taken in by this) and don't necessarily understand social graces.

Of course you also get sleazeballs but in the main I think those that are paying for these conferences and courses are genuinely socially inept.

The basic idea of "here is how you flirt" is not a bad thing but a lot of how it's developed - plates, ratings etc is not good.

what is PUA? My brother is on the autistic spectrum too, so he suspects, (although very high functioning with a very good job). he is very generous to me and to my kids. I know I'm his sister but insulting people to get what he wants wouldn't be his style AT ALL.

I think it's just entitled unattractive men. NOTHING to do with being on the autistic spectrum at all. In fact such manipulation through a means of insulting somebody and complimenting them at the same time would probably be most counter intuitive to a person on the spectrum

PUA = Pick Up Artists. It's what a lot of these types describe themselves as.

The autism spectrum encompasses a huge range - as a side note my autistic brother can be veeeery manipulative. But I don't think he understood it originally as "I can trick women into liking me", more as "I can finally learn to talk to women!".
Disagree that it's entitled men - primarily socially insecure/inept men with a liberal sprinkling of arseholes too.

It is a very odd compliment.

You're the best looking red head I've ever seen.

Why not just say? You look great. Or whatever.

It certainly carries undertones of red heads generally aren't good looking, or, in your case, I'll make an exception to my no red heads rule.

He sounds like a drunk clumsily trying his luck.

I think the older sister is being ott, sounds like she's not happy that your younger sister got a compliment and she didn't even if it was from someone who was drunk.

From having met a few of these through my brother (the joys) they came across as very socially awkward.

Plates btw = spinning plates, having lots of women on the go at once. I mean when I was dating I'd be texting or going on initial dates with a few at once so in a way I don't think it's bad...of course these guys take it to extremes.

It's bloody annoying isn't it, and it is a feminist issue. When I go out with friends for a catch up we are constantly interrupted by men offering one random compliment after another. It's bloody rude, and you're expected to stop and engage with them. I wouldn't dream of wondering round a pub walking up to people and offering my opinion on their looks, and expecting them to feel happy for this.

When a woman is in a public area it's a way that men remind them of their place in society.

I didn't get any random men talking to me but I did have some guy grab my wrist from behind and try and pull me round to dance with him. He tried twice.
I don't think my older sister was jealous. She's very persistent with her view points and she definitely thought my other sister was being naive.