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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

AIBU to be annoyed about this fabrication?

55 replies

Shirleycantbe · 04/09/2015 11:23

I received this email from the Head of Music at my DDs primary school yesterday. So did at least one other mother.

"Hello!

I hope you had a lovely holiday!

'Shirley's DD' mentioned that she really wanted to do both choir and netball club but that the two clubs are on the same day. I just wanted to let you know that any children who want to do both clubs are going to be allowed to join the netball club on Wednesdays so that they are able to do both activities. Just let Miss X know if you would like to do this.

I hope this helps!

Best wishes,"

It's a complete fabrication. Neither child wants to join the choir (in fact they are adamantly against since word of mouth is very negative about it), nor did they have any knowledge of a clash of school clubs since we never even discussed it. I asked my DD whether the teacher had even mentioned choir to her yesterday (first day back) and she said no.

I understand the teacher is trying to recruit - but AIBU to be annoyed that she's making up lies about my child (and others) in order to do so?

OP posts:

spanisharmada · 04/09/2015 11:26

Eh? If she doesn't want to do it just ignore the email. You sound like your getting a bit het up over nothing to me.

Chrysanthemum5 · 04/09/2015 11:26

The teacher may not be lying. Isn't it possible that s/he spoke to your DD and your DD said she was interested to be polite? Depends on your DD's age but a lot of children don't like to contradict a teacher.

I wouldn't assume a teacher was lying - it seems odd that you think they might? Unless there's background to this?

ninetynineonehundred · 04/09/2015 11:29

Is it possible that she's got the wrong kids?

Seriouslyffs · 04/09/2015 11:29

Yeah what a bitch trying to get your dd to join her choir. She must be taking it in, probably gets extra leave on top of her massive holidays too.
Your dd probably mumbled something about netball clashing rather than say, hell no, I hate choir and the teacher is rather gushingly trying to please everyone.
Email back thanks for this info, my dd isn't going to do choir this year'

PaulAnkaTheDog · 04/09/2015 11:29

I wouldn't waste my time even thinking about it, let alone getting annoyed. It's not actually affecting your child in any way.

Original poster

Shirleycantbe · 04/09/2015 11:33

I'm 99.9% certain she is lying. The fact that another mother (who's DD has also has no interest) received word for word the same email.

I did wonder if my DD had been polite so innocently asked if Mrs X had mentioned choir at all. She looked utterly blank and said "No". I'm confident she'd not lie to me as there'd be no reason to.

Mrs X does have form for rather odd recruitment drives - eg sending "personal" emails to several parents saying what a lovely voice their child has (mine doesn't) and what an asset they'd be to the choir.

I'm sure I'm overreacting. I wouldn't mind if she had said - "just to let you know, if DD wants to do choir and netball there's a way round it" It's the fact that she has made up a conversation that didn't happen that I think is a bit off.

OP posts:

noiwontstoptalking · 04/09/2015 11:36

I would just reply and simply say thank you the email, DD has no intention of joining the choir this year.

Seriouslyffs · 04/09/2015 11:40

You are overreacting. You don't even need to answer the email, do I read it right that you've been talking to other parents too?
Sheesh- who'd be a teacher?

ratspeaker · 04/09/2015 12:00

I can see why you'd be annoyed at your Dcs name being put in such an email.
i agree it could have been better phrased as "some children" instead of a name. That way no one was being singled out especially if days of clubs are being shifted, imagine muttering at school gates from disatified parents as Shirleys DD got special treatment

JenniferYellowHat1980 · 04/09/2015 12:05

YANBU. Music teachers are notorious for pressuring reluctant kids to join their clubs. We were told that we wouldn't pass unless we went to choir!

RaspberryOverload · 04/09/2015 13:25

I had the opposite from my music teacher (this was about 30 years ago).

Friend and I answered the recruitment call to join the choir, but when we went along, the teacher spent the whole session (our lunchtime) coaching the pets, and didn't even acknowledge that we'd turned up to join.

So we didn't go back. Her loss.

Scarydinosaurs · 04/09/2015 13:51

It's odd, but nice really. She just wants your DD in the choir. Hardly a crime.

Spartans · 04/09/2015 14:29

It seems weird that the teacher knows your ds wants to do netball.

Maybe whoever organised netball mentioned, that some children wanted to do both, to her and got the kids names wrong. A misunderstanding rather than a lie.

PingpongDingDong · 04/09/2015 14:35

It was a bit silly of her if your DD and others had expressed no interest in the choir. They were obviously going to tell you that they hadn't! I think I'd just ignore it or message back politely "Many thanks for the email but I think there must be a mix up as DD tells me she does not want to join the choir this year" or similar.

HaydeeofMonteCristo · 04/09/2015 14:40

I would just get back to her and say "I can confirm that dd does not wish to join the choir." or words to that effect.

MyCatColin · 04/09/2015 15:41

I don't really think this is anything to get your knickers in a twist about.

There may have been a misunderstanding or maybe she would really like you dd to join choir. I think its good if they are willing to accommodate children that do want to do both activities as usually its one or the other.

Just respond that your dd doesn't want to partake in the choir.

No harm done.

wasonthelist · 04/09/2015 15:59

Surely it could be a mistake - sent to (2) wrong parents? Why assume it's an evil tissue of lies? Maybe the teacher sent it to everyone?

CrohnicallyAspie · 04/09/2015 17:55

Does your child share first name with any other children? Could there be a mix up with the wrong Mary's mum being contacted?

featherandblack · 04/09/2015 18:01

Teachers occupy a position of trust and yes it's important that they are truthful and seen to be truthful. I too would be worried by this and annoyed that someone could deliberately lie about my child's words. I would call and pleasantly get to the bottom of it.

HairyChestedFrog · 04/09/2015 18:10

Oh get over yourself. The teachers will have had a conversation about the two popular activities clashing this year, and will have brainstormed a list of kids who they think might have shown an interest in both. The same message will have been sent to parents of all those kids, to pre-empt anyone thinking they can't join both clubs. They're trying to maximise opportunities for the children. No need to be so precious.

Ihateigglepiggle · 04/09/2015 18:24

Do you think she's maybe emailed the wrong kids? Or maybe there's another couple of kids with similar names?

It reads as a warm and friendly email and you sound paranoid. Where has the teacher accused your child of lying? She hasn't. You are the one with the accusations.

How about replying 'it's great the you and the sports teacher are happy to give your free time for the kids, but currently my DD doesn't want to take part in choir'.

NotAWhaleOmeletteInSight · 04/09/2015 19:19

Oh fgs. Yabu. I'm a teacher and run a club voluntarily, in my own time, meaning that the work I might have got done during that time I take home and do once I've put my own dc to bed. Get over yourself. Why must you assume there's some ridiculous conspiracy?

AnyFucker · 04/09/2015 19:24

This is w

Slammerkins · 04/09/2015 19:24

It's a bit over familiar and good practice would be tossed out a general email stating timetable get of clubs meant there was no clash for anyone interested, but not a big conspiracy or lie.
Maybe your DD expressed an interest and changed her mind, or used the clash of clubs to make a polite excuse about choir.

AnyFucker · 04/09/2015 19:25

This is why I think teachers do a marvellous job, and I couldn't do it because the temptation to deck people like you would be too much

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