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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to vent my road rage here!

30 replies

y0rkier0se · 03/09/2015 14:53

I've been driving for 2 years now, fairly confident in my own driving, but every time I go anyway in the car I see things that just terrify me. Today I visited Ikea and had a little car pull out on me on a roundabout - I was already on the roundabout and he didn't even stop to give way! Then leaving Ikea it's admittedly quite complicated but a woman in a blue car in front moved to the left hand lane to leave the roundabout so I moved over into the lane she'd just been into, and then she changed her mind and tried to come back into the lane I was already in! Cue the car behind me having to slam on and beep because I'd had too. Then at the next exit where I was coming off, she again decided she was in the wrong lane so pulled to the right causing another car to beep and brake suddenly. I love the freedom of driving but I'm now panicking about going out again ???? i don't think it's irrational anxiety either, it's bloody scary to think that there's people out there that try and turn right on a 5 lane roundabout in the middle left lane ????

OP posts:
WhyCantIuseTheNameIWant · 03/09/2015 14:58

Going back 12 years... I visited ikea. M6, j9. I was heading from the north, so turning right into ikea. Then left, after the roundabout. Clearly signposted as lane 2 (of 3). So I go into lane 2.

Dozy bloke in lane 3 decided he wanted the left turn that was next to us. So he drives into the side of my car...

I think some people could use an few extra lessons.

As for the rest of us, not much you can do, apart from try and give yourself extra space/stopping distance (sometimes counter-productive as a rep in a flashy audi will take the space...).Plan ahead. Look at those dash-cams...

LurkingHusband · 03/09/2015 15:04

Yesterday, two cars sailed onto a roundabout I was already on without looking. One wonders what there defence would be in an accident. particularly when the dashcam footage confirms they didn't look. (Hint. If you are going to lie about an accident these days, make 100% certain that no dashcam footage exists to contradict you. Insurers are passing on footage to the police in cases where it reveals possible careless, reckless, or dangerous driving.)

MaidOfStars · 03/09/2015 15:06

I regularly switch motorways at a roundabout junction. The roundabout is 30mph and well-signed/traffic lighted. But as three of the four exits are onto motorway, people exit quickly.

It's scary as fuck when some twat decides to change lane on an exit.

Original poster
y0rkier0se · 03/09/2015 15:15

I've looked at those dash cams before I think I'm going to get one after payday, it's so scary to think that you have no control over other people on the road. Thing is, you expect them to be young inexperienced drivers but the first one was a middle aged man and the second one was two women with a young girl in the back. Just glad I'm home safe!

OP posts:
Coffeethrowtrampbitch · 03/09/2015 15:16

This is why I won't learn to drive.
Dh learned nine months ago, and the behaviour of other drivers I see from the passenger seat terrifies the life out of me.

It's more that they don't notice how dangerous they are. Dh had a woman pull out in front of us at a retail park on the roundabout. She was watching the main entrance opposite her, but not checking the road we were coming off of, which was also to her right. She shook her head at dh and glared, obviously thinking he had come out of nowhere, but in fact she wasn't giving way to the right and will keep driving despite her basic observation being so poor she nearly caused an accident. And think she's right to do so.

WhoTheFuckIsSimon · 03/09/2015 15:19

Sadly you have to drive like everyone else is an idiot. Give people space and be prepared for daft things. If they are doing daft things stop and let them go infront and hopefully they will be out your way.

LurkingHusband · 03/09/2015 15:29

Thing is, you expect them to be young inexperienced drivers

I am 4 - nearly 50. When I went on a speed awareness course last year, I was the youngest driver there. One driver was so old he had never taken a test.

akkakk · 03/09/2015 15:40

It is also worth considering defensive driving - look at something like the IAM courses for a great introduction to advanced driving - you will be surprised how it can change your approach so much that in allowing for the silliness of other drivers you somehow smooth it all out :) less stressful for you and less chance of any accidents - even through someone else's fault...

sometimes it is easy to miss our own mistakes and even in examples as obvious as those above, was there possibly a way of anticipating someone else's behaviour and making space for it to reduce issues? Making sure that our own driving is a step above others so that we are not causing issues even if not meaning to...

tobysmum77 · 03/09/2015 15:40

Who thefuckissimon is dead right. The only things you can control are you own temper and the way you drive. No point in getting wound up about idiots.

tobysmum77 · 03/09/2015 15:41

Yeah and that too akkakk

Original poster
y0rkier0se · 03/09/2015 15:46

I do get wound up about it because I feel like in their stupor they're putting me and my passengers lives at risk. I don't angry like horn blazing shouting swearing angry but wound up in the sense that it plays on my mind afterwards like this Sad never heard of that Akkakk will look into it, thankyou Smile

OP posts:
WhoTheFuckIsSimon · 03/09/2015 17:08

Everyone makes mistakes. Couple of years ago I changed lane from right to left thinking the lane was clear. Busy strange city and I had no idea where I needed to be. I swear I checked the lane was clear but obviously not well enough and there was car in my blind spot.

He had to brake sharply and honked like mad. I'm glad he did honk as I was then alerted to him and slammed the brakes on myself.

My twat mother In the passanger seat gave the other driver the finger. I nearly died. I was totally in the wrong. I was mortified by nearly hitting him, mortified by my mother. Thankful he didn't get out the car and punch me after my mothers antics. Grin

I like to think after people have done something stupid they're sorry for it and learn a lesson. Thats what I tell myself and it keeps me calmer.

People like the twat who purposefully kept reversing right up to the front of my car at every traffic light in Harrogate the other week to teach me a lesson for not earlier letting him out a side road though are total cunts and deserve to be shot. Thankfully they're in a minority. But even faced with twat behaviour like that for a period of ten mins I just kept smiling and waving at him because it was winding him up something chronic

TenForward82 · 03/09/2015 17:14

I encounter shit driving every day (and my drive to work is only 10 mins). I'm trying desperately to make an effort to control my (almost automatic) urge to call them a name out loud. I'm going to get thumped one day Grin

allwornout0 · 03/09/2015 17:24

I've come to the conclusion that my car must be invisible with the number of times people pull out right in front of me as if I am not actually there.

AlisonWunderland · 03/09/2015 17:50

I've got one of those invisible cars too!

Notasinglefuckwasgiven · 03/09/2015 18:12

Ha! Try driving a bus! I have without exaggeration, around 12 near misses a day none of which are my fault. We all do. Every dick thinks a bus is something to be cut up, undertaken or swerved around....and they end up stuck at the same red light as me further along anyway! They don't give a fuck I'm carrying 100 people. Some children, babies in prams, elderly people who aren't that stable the lot! Me having to brake could kill someone. Me swerving could kill lots of fucking people. I've had conflict avoidance training to keep calm. But hey, Johnny Knobrot feels like a MAN when he gets past that bus Angry

fiverabbits · 03/09/2015 18:33

When my DD was driving down a 30 mph road at 25 mph there was a stationery car on the other side of the road facing us indicating right. Without any warning he pulled across us to park in the kerb. He then swore at us. I rang 101 to report him. He told the police that we was stationery and waved him on to go across the road. Lies, I don't know what the police told him but I hope it was enough to make him think next time. We now have a dashcam.

BrandNewAndImproved · 03/09/2015 18:39

I need to rant to.

If your driving along a busy road at 30mph please don't slam on your brakes to let someone out. Especially when they're going in the opposite direction and it's busy on the other side.

If the speed limit is 40 why the fuck are you doing 30. Yes I know limits are not targets but jheeze get a move on. There is usually streams of traffic behind you and an empty road ahead.

Lady who almost went into me on a roundabout, stay in your fucking lane it's a two lane road we're going in there was no need to change lane. If you do need to change at least fucking look.

Double mini roundabouts. If you don't know how to use them then learn or avoid them. You need to give way at each roundabout not just the one your about to go on.

I've heard if you have an accident on a roundabout insurers don't pay out even of its not your fault.

Original poster
y0rkier0se · 03/09/2015 19:43

Sooo glad it's not just me, Mumsnet should have a driving rants thread Grin

OP posts:
Caboodle · 03/09/2015 21:00

Well, I made a mistake today. On a car park so moving slowly and the other driver honked thankfully. Nobody is perfect.

TittyBiskwits · 03/09/2015 21:29

My pet roundabout hate is people who indicate left all the way round the fucking roundabout regardless of which exit they're taking.

TheCatsFlaps · 03/09/2015 22:59

If the speed limit is 40 why the fuck are you doing 30. Yes I know limits are not targets but jheeze get a move on. There is usually streams of traffic behind you and an empty road ahead.

Yes, that really boils my piss as well, even more so on a straight NSL road but when you can't overtake becausd of traffic coming the other way. Guaranteed to have me driving up their arse raging in a matter of minutes.

MaidOfStars · 04/09/2015 14:02

Followed a car doing....wait for it....27mph on a NSL road yesterday. Only short straights so couldn't get past. Very annoying.

wasonthelist · 04/09/2015 15:17

Notasinglefuckwasgiven you have my sympathy - I wouldn't fancy your job. I have (of course) been overtaken by prof. knobrott whilst I was slowing to allow a bus to pull away safely - it must be a nightmare trying to judge when to just press ahead and when you have to slam the brakes on in order not to kill someone.

Although of course they are vulnerable, it must be total hell trying to drive a bus or HGV in London with hundreds of pedestrians and cyclists swarming everywhere around your vehicle with no apparent concern for their own safety.

On my 32 mile round trip 4 times a week to maintain contact with DD, I average -

1 Vehicle driving towards me on my side of the road.
3 Tailgaters - one will be extreme, the other two will be intermittent, they fit it in between texting/phoning.
2 Drivers doing significantly less than the speed limit on a clear road with no hazards - usually two people in the car having a jolly chat.
4 People pulling out of side roads forcing me to slow right down in spite of there being nothing behind me.
2 people who come through traffic lights on red

I just try to ignore it all.

I have a potentially unpopular theory that a significant number of poor drivers on the road don't know any better because they don't have a licence and have never taken a test - I can't see any other way some of the things could be happening - I am sure they don't realise how much they are surviving by the rest of us making allowances for them.

IloveGTA5 · 04/09/2015 18:22

Defensive driving is a learnt skill: to learn it, just drive as if EVERYONE else can't.