That we can dislike people without being called jealous

[greenribbon]

I've noticed it on so many threads lately. Whether it's someone criticising someone in the public eye or whatever they invariably get accused of jealousy. I mean really, aren't there loads of other possible reasons for not liking someone. We don't have to like everyone do we, but I shouldn't imagine jealousy being the major reason for it. What would be the point, it's so futile isn't it.

YANBU. This is one of my pet hates, not all dislike is automatically jealousy, sometimes people are just dicks.

When people criticize celebrities I always assume jealously as they normally don't know the person and only have the media interpretation. If the person has done something terrible and it's been confirmed (Chris Brown or similar) then yes, absolutely fair enough. But when I see people seething with vitriol (which I sadly do sometimes) about Victoria Beckham or whoever, I have to assume it's an issue with them, namely some sort of jealousy or self esteem issue. I don't understand how someone could be so angry/nasty about a person they have never met unless they feel threatened or jealous of them in some way.

When it's somebody someone actually knows, yes, it could be a multitude of reasons.

some people are incredibly unlikeable, cock up their lives and the lives of people round them, behave dreadfully, what on earth would we be jealous of them for?

YANBU.

If I dislike someone I dislike them - I'm not jealous of them. Is the accusation of jealousy meant to be a put down, or is it just a sign that the accuser has a limited imagination?

YANBU. It's really tiresome. Also you can dislike a sleb or they can get on your nerves or make you without 'hating' them or being jealous.

I think if people care enough to start threads about their dislike of someone or who go out of their way to talk about exactly what they dislike, then it does come across as jealousy.

Otherwise, what else is it that makes you feel so strongly? Whenever I've disliked someone I keep it to myself and think about them as little as possible. I don't understand why you'd actively focus on something or someone you just dislike if there isn't jealousy or something else going on.

It depends on what you dislike them for. If you dislike them for having so much and 'looking' smug, well then that is jealousy. If you dislike them for their stance on human rights, that has nothing to do with jealousy. I think often people are jealous when they are nit picking about someone they don't really know. ...

So if I start a thread about someone who was rude, antisocial and spent their time shoplifting and getting arrested for armed robbery i would be jealous of them?

I agree.

But you always get people saying it-
Eg
"I'm not keen on porn/lap dance clubs"
"You're just jealous you are"
"?"

Osolea - you can dislike a public figure for their behaviour, their politics, their morals...the list is endless. Why on earth would that be jealousy and not the fact that I dislike their behaviour, politics, morals and so on?

The thing is though with celebrities, we do know them in a way, they make their lives very public and we read about lots of things they get up to, more so now than ever before. Years ago we had celebrities that we didn't know that much about, but these days celebs want us to know everything about them, it makes them money. I realise it's our fault, if we didn't buy the magazines etc they would just fade into obscurity. So therefore people are bound and entitled to have opinions of them. We don't have to know them to know all about them iyswim.

My loathing for Steve wright is legendary (in my house). I don't know the real him but I do find him smug. Tell me in what way it's jealousy?

SirChenjon, I know you can dislike public figures for numerous reasons. There are plenty of public figures that I dislike for one reason or another, but as I don't like them, I don't give them any brain space.

Maybe I didn't explain myself clearly, but my point wasn't that you can't dislike someone without bring jealous, it's that if it's as simple as just a dislike, then where's the reason for starting a thread or a conversation about it.

So it's the starting of the thread/conversation that indicates jealousy?

Yes, SirChenjin, exactly. It comes up all the time on threads about the monarchy, when republicans who argue for the stupid wastefulness of the civil list and for the dismantling of the whole kit and caboodle are accused of 'jealousy' of individual members of the royal family.

I agree it's a sign of limited intelligence/imagination on the part of the accuser. It's as if they can't understand that it's perfectly possible to hold a position on, say, the advisability of an elected head of state, or the vacuousness of celebrity culture without it being motivated, deep down, by a deep-rooted jealousy of Catherine Middleton's swishy hair and well-heeled lack of job, or the 'bikini body' of Random Actress.

Eh? Speaking on behalf of the Steve wright haters, who've started numerous threads about him, we're not jealous. That's absurd.

I think over thinking someone that you already dislike indidcates more than a simple dislike, yes. It might not be jealousy, although it could well be, I just don't understand why anyone would focus on a celebrity they don't like just for the sake of criticsisng them.

It's not the same as people criticising (eg) David Cameron because of a political policy, or criticising something that someone has publicly said.

It comes up all the time on threads about the monarchy, when republicans who argue for the stupid wastefulness of the civil list and for the dismantling of the whole kit and caboodle are accused of 'jealousy' of individual members of the royal family.

There's a difference there though, isn't there? Criticising the monarchy because you don't agree with the monarchy isn't the same as automatically criticising Kate's dress or Prince George's socks because you don't like the monarchy. And I think some people do criticise little details like that because they are jealous, and not just because they don't like the monarchy.

I dunno what you mean.

So you don't think it's jealousy now?

YANBU!
Not saying jealously is never a factor but I totally get that one can very much dislike part or all of a person's public image for all sorts of reasons.

In my case it's mostly politicians and royals because I don't really follow celebrity culture.

Ok, so I don't like the way they dress Prince George when I see pictures of him in the newspapers. Who does that make me jealous of exactly?

But why would you start a thread to complain about the way they dress George just for a simple dislike?

Disliking someone doesn't indicate jealousy. Giving their clothes so much thought that you start a thread about it does come across as jealousy, otherwise why would you spend so much time thinking about it?

I wouldn't start a thread about it Osolea so does that get me off the hook?

I can think it but not mention it to anyone?

I think you are mistaking happily starting a thread about something with angsting over something for weeks and weeks

(admittedly I have angsted over the problem that is Steve wright but I think that's fair)