If you recognised yourself in an AIBU thread...?

[AlisonWunderland]

Not really a TAAT more a general query?
Mumsnet is pretty big so it's bound to happen that you read an AIBU thread and realise that you are the stranger that was thought to be so unreasonable. Or worse still, the unreasonable friend!

There have been a couple of unresolved threads over the last week where the reaction of the "unreasonable" has been extreme- one totally blanking the OP afterwards, the other creating a "shitstorm"

I wonder if these reactions are not to much to the original situation, but more to the on-line discussion that has been discovered

So if you discovered yourself being labelled as totally unreasonable, would you come on thread to defend yourself, or leave mumsnet forever in embarrassment?

I think you have to remember that you only get one side of the story on AIBU - there have been many threads where I find myself wondering what the other party's version would be.
So I guess it would depend on what the thread was. I would probably feel compelled to name change and defend myself if I found myself being unfairly slated.
But I would take it on the chin and apologise (if possible) if I was found to be unreasonable and the op was a fair version of events. I probably wouldn't let on that I'd seen the thread though.

I have recognised my behaviour on the Step-parenting thread. I'm still working it out but the OP was complaining about her DH's DC's and I recognised my views where similar to her DH's.

Not sure if this is what you mean.

Some threads have made me do some serious thinking about stuff that I thought was U and maybe wasn't, and vice versa. Thankfully so far I haven't been recognisably cited as U.

U and non-U used to mean something else when I was growing up - which would be another thread full of fun.

Alison I was also thinking the "shitstorm" might have been outed somehow.

There was a thread some years ago where the OP claimed someone was high jacking her DC's party, and trying to get away without paying her fair share of the costs.

It was found by the other person, who told an entirely different story.

Posters quickly changed from siding with the OP, to siding with the other person.

Oh and an old wife/new wife combo a few months back. Including accusations of infidelity and canvassing for UKIP.

A wise person once said to me.."There are three sides to every story; your side, my side and the truth".

fastdays I remember that one! Seriously cringey.

Paul cringey but pretty gripping! The disparity between the two version of events was quite huge.

fastdays Yup! Really brought home how Something that is a definite 'YANBU!' can suddenly change when you hear the other side.

Faraday's and Paul, can you link please? (Too much time...!)!

Go on then:

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/2377042-To-think-even-the-term-OW-has-an-expiry-date?pg=1&order=

Suggest a large glass of wine and a couple of kgs of Malteasers.

I once found a thread (on another parenting site) written by a relative. The details were quite specific and a quick advanced search confirmed it.

The thing is although not exactly untrue, the details had been slanted or edited to suit her case.

The thread wasn't about me but I had been there for the duration of the incident. Several key points were left out which really made a difference to the story.

She was obviously just venting so I didn't comment and quietly left that site but I was quite shocked about how misrepresented the family had been.

I take most MN threads with a pinch of salt as a result.

Hepzibar I wasn't thinking of just recognising "I do that too" more like reading a thread and realising that the OP's sister in law is actually you!

Oh bloody hell, no that's never happened, although it's probably only a matter of time!

It'll be a unjustified disgruntled ex employee or DH's XW.

I haven't recognised myself in AIBU but I recognised the behaviour of my young son, who the OP (a good friend) talked about as a way to demonstrate how unreasonable her DH was being. TBF, I was pleased she stuck up for DS who has ASD and we are still good friends. The DH, on the other hand, can go jump as far as I am concerned.

I shiver at the thought! ex sil uses mumsnet but I've never came across her. I don't post anything too salacious just in case. The worst she could find out is I'm online all day

I remember the thread about pizza express, I think? Wasn't there some mothers who'd left a mess or something and they were being slated, and one of them came on to defend themselves?

could be mixing up several threads

Someone once called me thick on here (as in someone I knew from real life.)

That hurt a bit.

maisie Vile. Did they know it was you?

It wasn't intentional to be fair - not a vile poster or person but I knew she was referencing me! Never mind!

There have been a few threads not directed at me but people like me that have upset me. I thought I was doing ok in life but it seems I fall short of some mn standards!

It's never happened to me, but in real life, a woman who I am friendly with, and who I do really like!, a few years ago, she seemed to know something about me that I hadn't told her in real life. I also hadn't told any of our mutual acquaintances. I did wonder she'd read something I'd posted on line that I thought in my innocence was totally private but it was clearly me (to people who knew me).
I name change like the FBI are after me now.