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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think this is fucking rude, nosey and slightly unhinged?

49 replies

Aoifebell · 01/09/2015 14:37

I used to get my ndn to babysit for me. Probably happened about 5 times. The last time she was here was about jan/feb.

I've seen her LOADS of times since then. Had chats she's been here for coffee twice etc. I've just got back from the Asda and she was downstairs talking to another neighbour. She came rushing over to me, basically singing my name as she said hello. Then says to me.

"You know the last time I was in your house babysitting, I saw a letter on the side about you missing five hospital appointments, why haven't you been going?"Shock

My jaw nearly hit the floor! I was so shocked that she a) was reading through my fucking personal stuff and b) she had the brass neck to actually tell me about it, bearing in mind this was how many months ago!

I couldn't get words out, I gave her a puzzled death stare then just said fuck me you're nosey! Why was you reading my stuff? Apparently she's worried about me because I have DD and you know... I don't fucking know! I finished getting my shopping out the car shaking my head the whole time then started going upstairs. As she's walked off she's half laughing saying I know, I'm a nosey babysitter.

I fucking fuming. I feel violated. I need to say something to her but I don't know where to start.

AIBU to feel this angry? AIBU to say something to her? Can some one help me construct a text to send her. I don't want to see her.

OP posts:
londonrach · 01/09/2015 14:43

Sorry but yabu to miss an appointment. Next time phone and cancel. (Nhs worker)

As for your ndn yanbu. How dare she read your private papers. No way would i allow her to babysit again.

Iamatotalandutteridiot · 01/09/2015 14:44

why haven't you been going to your appointments?

Did she actually open your post? Take a letter out of the envelope? Or just read a letter that was there?

I mean, yes, she's out of order... but your reaction makes me think you feel embarrassed that she knows (apologies if I'm totally wrong on that one)

Her reaction makes me think she was trying to 'show you up' infront of the other neighbour...

So, I guess, to know how you should reply, you need to be clear to yourself why you are so angry she knows this piece of information.

XCChamps · 01/09/2015 14:47

I think she's a decent person, doing you some favours, saw something she knows she shouldn't have and has been worrying about you since. She knows she shouldn't have the information which is why it's taken so long to get up the courage to speak to you about it.

Missing 5 appointments is worrying....

Bearsbeets · 01/09/2015 14:49

Is she for real?! She read your post and then questioned you about it? She would never, ever set foot in my home ever again. What a fucking idiot.

Pancakeflipper · 01/09/2015 14:49

Don't send a text. You've already said something. Ignore from now on. Don't allow in your house.

My NDN looked after our animals recently and is utterly bursting to know why we received a letter from the police whilst we were away (the police kindly put the police and relevant district on the back of the envelope). I reckon they will burst in 5months time and ask me.

GloriaHotcakes · 01/09/2015 14:50

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Trickydecision · 01/09/2015 14:51

Yes she was rude and nosey to read your letter; don't let her babysit again.

You, however, are rude and slightly unhinged to miss five hospital appointments.

No wonder the NHS is struggling when people like you waste its time and resources.

Tinktheterrible · 01/09/2015 14:51

Yanbu, however, don't leave personal papers on the side when you have house guests, chuck it all in a drawer. I've learned this myself from bitter experience.

We also have a really nosy neighbour, I find commenting on her behaviour in a loud voice with the windows open does the trick. Until the next time, she soon forgets. I wouldn't text, it'll just add fuel to the fire.

Original poster
Aoifebell · 01/09/2015 14:56

I didn't miss five appointments she must of read it wrong in her speed reading! If she was concerned why would she wait all these months to say something? I think she's a nosey cow tbh. I'm not embarrassed im disgusted she went through my stuff. I have a paper pile on top of the microwave. The letter was old and not on top so she's obviously been rooting around.

OP posts:
scatterthenuns · 01/09/2015 14:58

YABU to miss hospital appointments.

Original poster
Aoifebell · 01/09/2015 15:00

Exactly Gloria. It actually said four which isn't true and I spoke to the department to correct them on that. I missed one when my DD was in hospital.

OP posts:
bigbluebus · 01/09/2015 15:04

Lesson learned. Don't leave personal stuff lying around that you don't want people to see. I have Carers in my house and I make sure that anything of minor value/personal nature is in a locked filing cabinet and DS is constantly reminded not to leave money/bank statements/personal correspondence lying around on the desk in his room - which is opposite the room the carers go into. I trust the carers with my DD but there are some things I do not want seen/talked about so I make sure they are kept out of sight.

You should not, however, miss medical appointments - someone else could have had that appointment if you were not intending to go. If you have a medical problem that needs help/treatment then please use the NHS wisely.

I would put this incident down to experience and you now know something about your NDN that perhaps you didn't know before - she is nosey!

PenelopePitstops · 01/09/2015 15:09

She's taking the piss reading it.

But 5 appointments cost a shit load of money to the NHS.

Original poster
Aoifebell · 01/09/2015 15:10

Nosey is an understatement. I think she's probably bored too. She's older than me, she doesn't work and I've never seen her with friends. I felt a bit sorry for her was open to a friendship with her.

OP posts:
ItsAllGoingToBeFine · 01/09/2015 15:11

If it really was buried at the bottom of a pile YANBU, but if it was on top YABU.

Some weirdos (myself included) automatically read any text they see (including upside down) before registering that perhaps they shouldn't.

Original poster
Aoifebell · 01/09/2015 15:11

Read my post Penelope. It was one appointment!

OP posts:
ItsAllGoingToBeFine · 01/09/2015 15:12

And she probably mentioned because she was worried you had cancer or something and had your head in the sand, and were going to die on your DD.

gaggiagirl · 01/09/2015 15:12

Oof to the paper pile on top of the microwave Shock. Shift that so your kitchen will remain not-on-fire.

Original poster
Aoifebell · 01/09/2015 15:12

And would you comment on what you read 6 months later ITSALL?

OP posts:
ItsAllGoingToBeFine · 01/09/2015 15:13

If I was worried about your health and how that might impact on your daughter I might try and pluck up the courage, yes

Original poster
Aoifebell · 01/09/2015 15:15

It says what it's about in the letter no mention of serious illness and says the department it came from.

I didn't think of that GAGA! I don't use the microwave often but will move them cheers.

OP posts:
ItsAllGoingToBeFine · 01/09/2015 15:17

It says what it's about in the letter no mention of serious illness and says the department it came from.

In that case I would keep schtum.

XCChamps · 01/09/2015 15:17

If I was baby sitting and pottering about the kitchen, making tea etc, I'd find it very hard not to read letters left laying around. I wouldn't rifle through anything but I wouldn't be able to stop myself noticing what was on top or-on the fridge--

BitOutOfPractice · 01/09/2015 15:22

Op yanbu. I would be livid too. Only on MN would you get told off for this

Gingermakesmesick · 01/09/2015 15:22

Jeeeeez love the 'miss the point' posters.

Suppose the letter had said 'you don't have the funds for direct debits', would that have been OK because YABU to spend so much Hmm

Abysmal on her part OP.

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