to want to be called my fucking name?

[VacantlyStaring]

My name is two female first names but both could be either first or second names. For example: Leigh May

Sometimes people get confused and call me by my surname. This is easily done and, when its appropriate, I correct people.

At work, however, people seem fucking incapable of getting into their thick fucking heads that my first name is Leigh and my second name is May. I've been there nearly two years, it's a professional, career-y workplace (i.e. not a high turnover of staff) and my line manager does it a lot.

It makes me feel undervalued to be honest. I correct people when it happens but it keeps happening.

I know I probably am BU and I'm a bit emotional anyway but it's really getting me down. Eurgh. I just wanted to rant.

A year and 8 months is more than long enough - I thought you were going to say 5 weeks or something! Kick off!

scatter I know. I need to woman the fuck up.

Good to hear there are others having this trouble!

You can do it!

Yanbu my last name isn't commonplace, but it's been around in England where it originates for at least 400 years. Almost no fucker can pronounce it properly, not because it is difficult, but because lazy twats take one look at it and decide it looks near enough to a familiar word, which if they fucking bothered to read, it doesn't. It is dead easy to pronounce properly by the simlle expedient of sounding out the letters phonetically.

It doesn't reflect well on your Line Manager, ask if they would constantly confuse Theresa May's names, and if not why do they do it to yours?

I have a client who calls me Gillingham instead of Gillian, but I'm sure that one is an autocorrect

Bah! Similie = simple.

"I don't mean to be rude because it's clearly your problem you rude git but my name is actually Leigh. Do please call me Leigh" Then Big Smile.

Can you not say something like
Do we need to be so formal, surely we're on first name terms by now?

wasonthelist Aww, I was hoping you did actually mean similie- I thought oooh that sounds like a good name!

Thanks for all your lovely suggestions and support.

Where I work, there is a gentleman, who has the misfortune of a relatively common - and commonly abbreviated - name (For the sake of this post (since I CBA to NC) let's say it's "Frederick").

All well and good, if he was happy being called "Fred". However he hates Fred. So he got the IT pixies to amend his entry in the address book to read:
FREDERICK Bloggs
Which does stand out when listed, and does emphasize the issue.

For those who think it's all a bit much, in more years than I care to remember, I have seen subtle powerplays in offices over names, particularly non-English ones.

I can beat all of these. I was working at one company for nearly 18 months and was known by my maiden name:

I then married and took my husbands name and became:

There were people I had worked with since I started there who suddenly started calling me

wooly

I have thought about changing my surname to my DH's just to avoid this issue TBH.

wooly

I have thought about changing my surname to my DH's just to avoid this issue TBH.

I'm in the same situation, OP. My surname is also a first name. Very annoying when people call me by it, usually on email. I just correct them every time, but it gets a little frustrating after a while!

Just keep correcting them, every time. Nothing else for it, I'm afraid. for you.

I think you have just got to say OP and let them know that it gets you down. My ex's family insisted on shortening further my already shortened name - and I hate it (think Elizabeth - Lizzy - Liz). I never invited them to do it - I assume it was a way of being over familiar. They still do it 40 odd years later - to my face, on greetings cards ALL THE TIME.

and now all the nephews and nieces do it too.

I HATE IT!!

So you see, it is important to let them know that it bothers you or you will end up as bitter and twisted as I am.

i have a smilar issue in that my first name is two names ie think sarah-jane [its not sarah-jane but you get the idea]throughout my life i have had people ask would you prefer sarah or jane, sarah-jane please as that my name i feel your pain op its tiring!

My DS had a teacher at school whose first name and (married) surname were both the same (slightly different spelling - eg Alison Allisson).

I have a surname which is said exactly as it is spelt but the number of people who change a letter in the middle or add a letter that wasn't there to make a more commonly known surname never fails to astound me. I now just answer to most variations and let it wash over me as life is too short.

I know someone who has my maiden name as his first name, with his surname being a common first name. (Not helped by someone else in the same circle having the surname as a first name) I've made many errors over it. It gets particularly confusing when documents are surname, first name. He's so used to people mixing them up that sometimes he has reversed his name when it should be organised by surname first, assuming it was yet another error.

My friend has a similar problem. When she married she joined her and her DH's names together. Unfortunately her maiden name is also a popular girls' name so she's constantly being called Anna-May rather than Anna May-Jones.

She avoids the problem at work by telling people to just call her Anna MJ "as my surname is just so long"

Usually, i'd be going for the blunt approach, but given how long you have left it, I think you need something to remind them to do it differently.

The tin of biscuits sounds like a great way to bring it up in a friendly, supportive way. People around here often bring in things to celebrate, so the usual response is 'what are we celebrating'. It would make sense to say its to remind everyone of my name, xx. Job done. Maybe enlist the manager, say what you are planning and ask for their support by setting a good example and getting your name right.

It also gives you an opening in future to say, shall i bring you another biscuit. It's a good way round to put the request. We often have large, transient teams and i put in a bit effort to get names right and always apologise if i mess up. When you have been colleagues for more than a year, it is time to get on top of it.

Do it before you explode unexpectedly one day, as when that happens, its always just the wrong person to have got the brunt of it and so it all gets very messy, everyone has an opinion. All the very best, don't forget to let us kniw how you get on.

"Hi May, good weekend?"
"Hi CoWorker, actually it's 'Leigh.' Yes I did, thank you. Did you do anything nice yourself?"

I can see problems like this increasing in the future what with the current 'surnames as first names' trend.

"Murphy Smith please meet Stafford Jones."

I have a similar issue in that my first name is two names ie think sarah-jane [it's not sarah-jane but you get the idea]throughout my life I have had people ask would you prefer sarah or jane, confused sarah-jane please as that my name I feel your pain op it's tiring!

I have exactly the same issue as this. I worked with someone for over five years and they would email me: "Dear Jane-Sarah", totally disregarding the fact that every email to them was signed "Sarah-Jane". It was as if they knew better. I also get (insert other name)-Jane if a colleague happens to know someone with that name. I would drop the "Jane" but I hate the name "Sarah" on its own. Not that my name is Sarah-Jane, obviously.

When I start a new job these days, I just correct people - in a polite way - over and over again. Some people catch on and others never will. I sympathise, OP - the surname aspect must be damned annoying. You can only try the drip, drip approach but mentioning it (in an appraisal?) to your line manager might help.

Thanks so much for all of your comments. I am quite heartened to hear other people having similar experiences.

I should be having a progress meeting with my manager in a few months when I'll bring this up with her and be sure to let you all know how I get on. I should warn you I'm a frequent NCer on here though but will come back to this thread to update!