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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

I love karma!

72 replies

CharlieBear15 · 31/08/2015 23:26

My stbxh is struggling. He has hardly any money and struggles to pay his rent ect. This isn't helped by the fact he drives 80miles nearly every day to see his girlfriend.

Anyway, he borrowed some money last month to take the dc and his gf out for the day I'm a twat.

He's abusive. That's the reason I left.

Anyway, about 4 months ago his car tax ran out. I told him he wasn't going to be allowed to take the dc anywhere if he wasn't taxed. A week later he tells me he is.

Tonight he dropped the kids off after a long weekend.

As he was taking his gf home he was pulled over. He's lost his car.
He's lost his log book or I may have chucked it out after he punched me for the final time

This means he can't get work tomorrow, and his gf can't get home.

I love karma. After all the abuse I get weekly!

Poor him, he hasn't got my dad to borrow him money to bail him out now.

OP posts:
greenwichjelly · 01/09/2015 06:59

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Ziar · 01/09/2015 07:04

Just to clarify, are you asking AIBU to live karma?

Ziar · 01/09/2015 07:06

Although one can live karmically.

Ziar · 01/09/2015 07:07

I meant love*

MyGastIsFlabbered · 01/09/2015 07:09

My STBXH wasn't violent or abusive, but he is a shitbag wanker and I take great delight in any misfortunes he has. I know deep down it's not healthy, but we've not even been split 6 months so it's early days. I get you OP.

Whocansay · 01/09/2015 07:14

OP, YANBU. At all.

The OP has clearly been treated like shit by this guy. Why shouldn't she feel a bit pleased that something shit happened to him? It's not like he died!

I don't understand some of the self-righteous posts on this thread.

Original poster
CharlieBear15 · 01/09/2015 07:25

These were the messages I received when I told him our dd doesn't want to go last weekend

I love karma!
OP posts:
lilmisslibrarian · 01/09/2015 07:35

I'm so sorry that you've had to put up with such a bully who has clearly made you and your children's life's so horrible.
Please keep these texts and use them towards the injunction, I think you should stop contact with the dcs too-he sounds like someone who shouldn't spend time with children.
Flowers

DoreenLethal · 01/09/2015 07:59

This man is a complete sociopath and I hope the injunction comes soonest Charliebear. It's a grim decision - don't send them and get abused or send them and and potentially let them get abused.

At least he is stupid enough to text you the threats which can be used against him in a court. Flowers

incogKNEEto · 01/09/2015 08:51

I'm with you, I don't think there's anything wrong with feeling a little glee when someone's shortcomings catch up with them! Injunction sounds just the way to go with messages like that and I'd also stop contact until it's been through court as he doesn't sound very stable or safe for your dc to be around. Take care and enjoy the fact that your life is only going to get better now, and his? Well, he still has to live with himself doesn't he, so no escape for him!

YouTheCat · 01/09/2015 09:25

Greenwichjelly, clearly has absolutely no experience of abuse and how it messes with your mind.

Onwards and upwards, OP. That injunction can't come soon enough.

Birdsgottafly · 01/09/2015 09:28

""These were the messages I received when I told him our dd doesn't want to go last weekend""

I can understand you keeping the messages, for evidence, but other than that, you shouldn't be giving them head space, otherwise you are focusing on him.

Fluffycloudland77 · 01/09/2015 09:37

We had dhs ex arrested and charged for text messages that weren't as bad as them.

ollieplimsoles · 01/09/2015 09:38

Wow, cant believe some of the messages op got on here at the beginning.

I think things always have a way of coming back around on people op, and there is nothing wrong with enjoying his little bit of misfortune.

But I wouldn't let him anywhere near my kids.

Ihateigglepiggle · 01/09/2015 09:38

Grenwichjelly you should leave this thread. The OP doesn't need your grief. What kind of person hassles abused women on the Internet?

OP - totally understand your feelings, anyone honest would admit the same.

MsJamieFraser · 01/09/2015 09:41

Just because the father was abusive with the mother does not mean he was abusive towards his kids, and courts take this into consideration. Has he been abusive towards the children in anyway OP.

You need to stop engaging with him, make the text messages simple to the point and only about the children. if he comments/makes threats, log everything. But do not contact him.

you need to remember there are two relationships here, yours and his, and his with his children, both need a wide birth of each other. Also do not bad mouth your children's father to them, because frankly no good will come out of it, always stay impartial when it comes to there realtionship.

If you have safety concerns or concerns that the children are being abused in some way or another, then you are legally allowed to withhold contact, because you also have a responsibility to keep your children safe and protected.

As for the Karma, I just see spiteful behaviour, which tbh makes me question you as a individual, and the type of person you are, that may be unreasonable, yes you can have bad things happen to you, but its also not a reason to be poorly in behaviour and mind.

ohtheholidays · 01/09/2015 09:47

Thank God you had the courage and strength to get away from him OP!

I hope he gets the book thrown at him for what he's put you and your children through and I hope the courts make it easier for you to be able to keep that man away from you all Flowers

ohtheholidays · 01/09/2015 09:48

CharlieBear15 I hope you've managed to keep all correspondence that the ex twatbag has sent you.

AyeAmarok · 01/09/2015 13:32

Wow, what a load of sanctimonious tripe there is on this thread.

OP I completely get you, I'm glad he's got a little bit of, well, I won't call it karma, it's actually just that he is facing the consequences of his actions (not taxing the car). Anyone who breaks the rules deserves that. But it's good that he's finally been caught as I'm sure most aren't.

None of this compares to him beating the crap out of you. Hopefully more consequences come his way soon.

Well done getting away from him.

POM POMS*

ExConstance · 01/09/2015 13:44

Now as a man is like this or like that,
according as he acts and according as he behaves, so will he be;
a man of good acts will become good, a man of bad acts, bad;
he becomes pure by pure deeds, bad by bad deeds;

And here they say that a person consists of desires,
and as is his desire, so is his will;
and as is his will, so is his deed;
and whatever deed he does, that he will reap.

—Brihadaranyaka Upanishad, 7th Century BC[23][24]

I do wish posters who are not involved with Buddhist Hindu or Jain religion would stop posting about what they call "karma" in a way which indicates it is comprised of unpleasant behaviour followed by some form of punishment.

PeppaWellington · 01/09/2015 14:03

Can I ask you all to look up at the mn logo and see what's written underneath it?

On my computer it says 'by parents for parents' not 'lay into a woman who is a victim of abuse and clearly doing her very best in a situation that is more complex than most of you would know, having not walked a mile in her shoes?'

In other words, how about a little kindness?

OP I don't blame you a minute for your delight in the trouble your moronic ex has caused himself. I very much hope this means you and your dc will see a whole lot less of the little shit.

amarmai · 01/09/2015 15:59

Info from the mn hacking revealed that many of the hackers have mn accounts.

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