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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

I love karma!

72 replies

CharlieBear15 · 31/08/2015 23:26

My stbxh is struggling. He has hardly any money and struggles to pay his rent ect. This isn't helped by the fact he drives 80miles nearly every day to see his girlfriend.

Anyway, he borrowed some money last month to take the dc and his gf out for the day I'm a twat.

He's abusive. That's the reason I left.

Anyway, about 4 months ago his car tax ran out. I told him he wasn't going to be allowed to take the dc anywhere if he wasn't taxed. A week later he tells me he is.

Tonight he dropped the kids off after a long weekend.

As he was taking his gf home he was pulled over. He's lost his car.
He's lost his log book or I may have chucked it out after he punched me for the final time

This means he can't get work tomorrow, and his gf can't get home.

I love karma. After all the abuse I get weekly!

Poor him, he hasn't got my dad to borrow him money to bail him out now.

OP posts:
TendonQueen · 31/08/2015 23:56

My, my, the moral high ground's popular tonight, isn't it? Totally get where you're coming from OP.

Original poster
CharlieBear15 · 31/08/2015 23:57

I assumed if I stopped contact it would go against me.

OP posts:
MrsGentlyBenevolent · 31/08/2015 23:59

I don't blame you op, but I do agree you need to take this moment - then let it all go. You're free to move on now, take it and leave all negativity here. It's only human, what you're feeling - seeing someone get their 'karma', we've all been there. But leave it at that. Hope you can find a way to move on now, and you and your children can happy the happy future I'm sure you deserve.

Iusedtobeapenguin · 01/09/2015 00:01

No it wouldn't go against you op.

If you don't believe your DC are safe with this man, you are fully justified in not allowing contact until you have been through the court process to make contact as safe as possible.

Original poster
CharlieBear15 · 01/09/2015 00:01

I feel so much better getting it all off my chest on here.

Thank you everyone. X

OP posts:
hollieberrie · 01/09/2015 00:03

I'm with you OP. I pray daily for something awful to happen to my abusive ex !

SuckingEggs · 01/09/2015 00:05

I'm with you, too. He deserves a bit of payback!

Fluffyears · 01/09/2015 00:05

Oh come on who hadn't had a moment of glee when this kind of thing happens. I've had a couple of people get their comeuppance lately and it did give a moment of 'yeeesssss! Finally'

AcrossthePond55 · 01/09/2015 00:06

Enjoy away! You didn't cause his misfortune, he brought it on himself. You're just an innocent bystander.

I'm so glad that so many MNers have such perfect lives that they can sit and polish those halos.

My only advice is to enjoy it 'with humility'. Appease the fates with a humble 'there but for the grace of God go I'. Quiet contentment, not rabid joy. No 'dancing on graves'. That helps prevent 'reverse Karma'. Grin

CalmYourselfTubbs · 01/09/2015 00:19

lots of sanctimonious folk on here.
OP - YANBU.

sugar21 · 01/09/2015 00:34

OP yes karma at last, know how you feel and hope that twat of an ex continues to get his. Unless people have been through DV they don't understand. I do and my karma is ongoing as the bastard is in jail. I went to the police and they persuaded me to press charges which resulted in a conviction. Hope you are ok.
YANBU

WWYDinThisSituation · 01/09/2015 00:37

I wouldn't have taken him at his word that he was taxed; I'd have made sure I saw it with my own eyes.

Why did he lend money to your dad? Do you mean your dad lent money to him? Confused

ZombiesAteMyBaby · 01/09/2015 00:45

greenwichjelly What a fucking horrible thing to say to someone who has had a computer monitor smashed over her back and been dragged up the stairs by her hair. I think if anyone needs to grow up it's you, maybe if you were more mature you'd have some bloody empathy for the OP!

OP I think you've been quite restrained in not wishing a lot worse on the evil bastard. I hope you manage to get the injunction against him sorted soon. Flowers

Lurkedforever1 · 01/09/2015 00:45

Yanbu. Yes, 15yrs down the line maybe if karma struck him it would be a bit odd to still be that invested, but now? Not at all, entirely normal. And possibly having chucked the log book doesn't make much odds, dvla can replace them so the karma is entirely not ops responsibility. If the tosser can't afford to tax it, for any other reason than basic survival or supporting kids then I wouldn't have much sympathy with his decision to carry on driving even if he wasn't an abusive arsehole.

Birdsgottafly · 01/09/2015 00:46

"" I assumed if I stopped contact it would go against me.""

As said, no it wouldn't.

I think that you need space to sort everything out in your head.

It can take years to get over living in an abusive relationship.

UnderTheGreenwoodTree · 01/09/2015 00:51

I totally get you OP. Enjoy your karma dance.

NadiaWadia · 01/09/2015 02:21

Wow, so many sanctimonious twerps on here tonight. Where do they all spring from?

MrsTerryPratchett · 01/09/2015 02:30

You sound like an immature little girl. Grow up. And I'd rather be a child than a sanctimonious, cold, heartless twunt. But that's just me.

OP, enjoy this small moment of schadenfreude then move on, be the better person and enjoy your new arsehole-free life.

HeartsTrumpDiamonds · 01/09/2015 03:09

What MrsTP said.

I look forward to a twat-free life for you OP. Flowers

In the meantime I would love to join you in a little happy karma dance! Sounds like he deserves every single shitty thing he has coming.

ButIBelieveInLove · 01/09/2015 03:44

bloody well said Zombie

Bogeyface · 01/09/2015 03:54

You sound like an immature little girl. Grow up.

I totally agree. She should make sure her bills are paid, her children fed and clothed and to give her ex nothing to hold against her....oh wait....SHE DID THAT YOU FUCKING IDIOT!

Why did he lend money to your dad? Do you mean your dad lent money to him? Confused

Yes, because the thing to focus on here is the OPs grammar Hmm This place never ceases to amaze me.

TravellingToad · 01/09/2015 04:27

Totally on your side OP

The bastard had it coming. Ignore all the uppity people on here pretending they wouldn't be just as happy as you are now karma has bitten him!

MammaTJ · 01/09/2015 04:37

I don't blame you OP!
May I share my 'karma moment' with you?

My ExH left me saying one of the main reasons was that I was bad with money. He left me in over £600 of rent arrears. I couldn't even take him off the tenancy until I had cleared that, which I did!

The real reason he left me was for the OW. Anyway, they recently got thrown out of their lovely big flat due to rent arrears and are now living in what is essentially a bed sit!

I just can't help but take a little satisfaction in that!

ButIBelieveInLove · 01/09/2015 06:22

Bwa ha ha MammaTJ. Sweet freedom!

DoreenLethal · 01/09/2015 06:38

I wouldn't have taken him at his word that he was taxed; I'd have made sure I saw it with my own eyes.

And how would you do that, bearing in mind they don't issue tax discs any more?