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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to think that Plenty of Fish is not the place to go looking for a long term relationship

52 replies

vulgarbunting · 31/08/2015 17:38

Let me pre empt this by saying that I know there will be odd exceptions where people have found long term significant others and had happy relationships through POF.

However, as we move into our 30s and embrace Internet dating, several of my friends, intelligent women who I know are not just after sex, are using POF. Which would be fine if I didn't then have a weekly stream of unhappy texts about horrendous guys they met up with who just wanted sex. When I query the decision to use this particular website, and ask whether it may be better to use one where the name doesn't imply shagging as many people as possible, they reject that as the reason why they aren't meeting 'the one'.

I've lost all sympathy and just can't put up with their moaning any longer! Ahhh!

OP posts:

Aeroflotgirl · 31/08/2015 17:44

Plenty of Fish, Tinder are not the sites you use to find a Decent partner if your a woman looking for a man. They seem to have the dregs of society frequenting them.

Wankarella · 31/08/2015 17:46

I would say it's more of a hook up site from my experience.

I need to delete my profile I've not been on for months but notice it is the same faces time and time again.

On saying that I do know a local couple who met there 6 years ago, they are very happy.

ProcrastinatorGeneral · 31/08/2015 18:26

Most people I know call it Plenty of Fucks which is rather self explanatory. It's a fuck buddy site not a dating site.

Cloppysow · 31/08/2015 18:29

Hideous place. I deleted my profile within a couple of hours of creating it.

MazyCrummy · 31/08/2015 18:31

I met my husband there and I don't think we're societal dregs. It's just a matter of being choosy and not behaving in different way than you would in RL.

DrGoogleWillSeeYouNow · 31/08/2015 18:33

Or as a colleague calls it... Plenty Of Fanny. He's on it, he's a twat, enough said.

saltlakecity · 31/08/2015 18:34

I met a lovely guy on there. We didn't quite work out but he was a good guy. A friend of mine is getting married to her pof guy next year. He's a really good guy too. My cousin found his wife on pof.

ilovesooty · 31/08/2015 18:35

I know someone who met her partner there. He's just proposed and they've moved into their own house together.
Both had not met the right person through other sites.

ChickenTikkaMassala · 31/08/2015 18:36

A colleagues daughter met her boyfriend on Tinder, he doesn't seem like someone after a quick shag.

SaucyJack · 31/08/2015 18:38

I think you have to be extremely lucky to meet a serious partner on any internet dating site- although POF is even less likely than some, granted.

DP and a previous ex both had profiles on there- and quite honestly I would not have bothered with either of them if I'd "met" them online rather than RL.

POF is a bit of banter when you're drunk IME. Not a "proper" dating website.

Aeroflotgirl · 31/08/2015 18:53

I think these sucess stories are very few and far between on these sites, from what I have seen its mostly those who just want a quick shag, or just want to mess you about.

Trills · 31/08/2015 19:00

Tinder is not just for shagging, that's definitely a misconception.

It can befor shagging if that's what you want, but there are LOTS of people on there (because it's so easy to sign up) and they want a variety of things.

travellinglighter · 31/08/2015 19:04

I did get a reasonably long term relationship on POF but I think Match might be better.

ohmyeyebettymartin · 31/08/2015 19:10

Never tried PoF but met Dp on Match. He seems OK, 2 kids later

NoArmaniNoPunani · 31/08/2015 19:12

I met my husband on POF, whatever site you use you have to sort through the shite.

BabyDubsEverywhere · 31/08/2015 19:32

I only know two women who have used the site in my circle, they both married men they met on POF!

MillionToOneChances · 31/08/2015 19:32

A friend refers to PoF as 'Plenty of Gash'. Hope that helps. YANBU.

Bonnie152 · 31/08/2015 19:37

I met my husband 8 years ago on POF, we have 2 children and are very happy.

I was 19 (lived in a very small village so limited options) and naive and did come across some unsavoury characters before I met my DH who is lovely.

I think most free dating sites will attract the people who are just after one thing though.

NoArmaniNoPunani · 31/08/2015 19:45

I had plenty of one night stands through match.com before meeting DH on POF. it's not about the site, it's about what you are looking for at the time.

ilovechristmas123 · 31/08/2015 19:50

well my then partner was on POF (i had no idea) met his now girlfriend and they have been together over two years

when i caught him his profile was a joke,he had already started dateing her i found out and dumped his sorry arse

she left her job,children and moved county, to to be with him

i was and am ok with it

BrandNewAndImproved · 31/08/2015 19:57

I know at least two couples that met on pof and I'm currently on it. I've had a couple of dates both with men wanting relationships. They weren't dregs of society either and weren't looking for a quick shag.

Trills · 31/08/2015 21:20

A friend refers to PoF as 'Plenty of Gash'.

Nice friends you've got.

YouMakeMyDreams · 31/08/2015 21:29

I get married in two weeks to my POF guy. I met a fair mix of people tbh. Some just wanted a shag some wanted a relationship I was in a very ruthless phase though and although occasionally happy to have a shag I was still not willing to compromise on who with.
I had actually decided to delete my profile and had been chatting to dp so gave him my mobile number and went from there.

Incidentally I actually joined after following a link to a right charmers profile on here so really this is a Mumsnet wedding I'd never even thought about joining a dating site until then.

BloodyLeadStuckInSharpener · 31/08/2015 22:09

YouMakeMyDreams

Writerwannabe83 · 31/08/2015 22:47

I met my husband on POF.

I'd previously been on Match and had two dates but neither of them had worked out.

My DH was the first date I ever had on POF, we messaged each other for 2 days then met up and 4 months later we were living together.

I know loads of people in LTR's or are married to people they met via OLD.

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