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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be dreading this journey tomorrow

178 replies

SamP85 · 31/08/2015 00:12

We (myself dh ds1 and ds2) drove up to Edinburgh on Friday for the bank holiday weekend and are driving back tomorrow. The problem is that ds1 has come down with very bad diarrhoea (it seems to be the start of a tummy bug)! We can't stay another night so have to face this 6+ hour car trip tomorrow. I am really at a loss on what to do to avoid him having an accident?? I will get him some imodium (if I can find it in his age range) in the morning but other than that I don't know.

OP posts:
Isetan · 31/08/2015 09:33

Imodium may stop the diarrhoea but it doesn't stop the pain, cramps and nausea. I took Imodium once when travelling and would not readily repeat the experience and I felt the recovery took longer because of taking it. Therefore, in all good conscious I couldn't put a child through it.

Badders123 · 31/08/2015 09:33

Poor boy :(

Badders123 · 31/08/2015 09:33

By giving Imodium you will prolong the bug.
It will also cause awful cramps.

TheFairyCaravan · 31/08/2015 09:35

Nah, not a martyr to my kids at all. I just don't expect them to do things that I wouldn't be comfortable doing.

If the OP was the one with diarrhoea, would she feel comfortable sitting in a car for 6+ hours, shitting herself so her husband could get to work tomorrow? I doubt she would!

googoodolly · 31/08/2015 09:37

How is being a martyr? I wouldn't want to spend six+ hours in a car with a diarrhoea so I sure as hell wouldn't expect my kid to the same thing! It's just mean.

quangotango · 31/08/2015 09:46

surely you just need to hole up somewhere today, let him sleep, get most of it out of his system, leave as soon as the diarheah subsides, driving through the night while he sleeps and its quiet if necessary. Barrister sleeps in passenger seat. Do drafting at home if he's still really sick tommorow. most upset tummies will have subsided by this evening. good luck.

BlueBananas · 31/08/2015 09:49

It's not being a martyr it's being a parent!
Your child is not well, look after him!

SoupDragon · 31/08/2015 09:51

PenelopePitstops ther is a cage difference between vomiting' which can be done in a bag as necessary, and diahorrhea which can't.

Original poster
SamP85 · 31/08/2015 09:51

I'm definitely not going to give him imodium after these posts, thanks a lot for giving me so much information.

OP posts:
NotMeNotYouNotAnyone · 31/08/2015 09:57

He's eleven, even just with family the poor kid will be mortified if he has an sccident. Not to mention uncomfortable and miserable.

You don't have to work tomorrow, dh doesnt, so what if someone "steals the case"? There will be more. You'll probably come down with the same thing anyway.

Yabu to subject an 11 year old to a potentially horrendous 9 hour trip (no chance of no traffic on a bank holiday!)

BlueBananas · 31/08/2015 10:00

This is pointless, the OP clearly has no intention of putting the sick child before herself
This thread is actually really depressing

MackerelOfFact · 31/08/2015 10:14

Your poor DS. What will happen if you all come down with it, will the court case still be as essential? Confused

noiwontstoptalking · 31/08/2015 10:31

Best of luck today OP.

I think you are getting a bit of a hard time. When I was 11 I did a 12 hr car journey with food poisoning.

We had to get home (for similar reasons to yours) and there was no choice. It was an awful journey but we all survived.

The OP isn't going to put her whole life on MN so you lot can see if she's 'allowed' to do this. I can think of a number of circumstances in which this might be required.

It doesn't make you a bad parent OP. You make the best decision for you family that you can.

LadyPeterWimsey · 31/08/2015 10:32

Sympathies, OP - some things just can't be rearranged.

Last summer we had just gone to bed before catching an early ferry to the continent to go on holiday. DD (12) came in at 2am saying she had just thrown up, and proceeded to vom for the next 12 hours. We couldn't delay - we were swapping houses with another family who were already on the way, so we set off anyway. We felt awful for DD and it wasn't a great trip for any of us, but she made it and was even laughing about it by the end of the drive.

And just to show that I haven't asked my kids to do what I wouldn't do myself, I once had D & V all the way back home on the A303 for four hours. DH (vicar) had to take a wedding in Cornwall and couldn't look after me (I had been puking all night), a toddler and a baby, so drove me home so my mother could look after us while he drove back down and officiated. Was it miserable? Absolutely. But I wasn't about to stuff up someone's wedding day.

iwouldgoouttonight · 31/08/2015 10:47

I agree with noiwontstoptalking

I hope the journey goes ok and your DS is feeling better soon.

PS. My DS (9) has fecal incontinence so I have a lot of experience of cleaning up very messy poo on car journeys. Lots of towels, changes of clothes, wipes, hand wash, etc and it can be done discreetly at the side of the road.

hullabaloo234 · 31/08/2015 10:47

You said yourself that you are not needed in court, so why not put your son's health and comfort first for one day and let him travel home by train with when he's feeling more up to it? 11 is such a tricky age, can you even begin to imagine his embarrassment having to soil himself repeatedly in front of you all?!

If it were you who was ill OP, would you bed willing to subject yourself to wearing nappies and sitting on plastic bags too?! My guess is definitely not.

However I think we all know you are going to put Jon through this truly awful journey anyway so for pity's sake give him the immodium! Why would you not?! It's a perfectly safe drug to take!

I feel so sad for your poor boy Sad At least he's got his nanny to look after him tomorrow though eh Hmm

hullabaloo234 · 31/08/2015 10:49

Oh you know what I'm trying to say, but typing one handed whilst feeding the baby on my ridiculous phone is a nightmare Angry

Savagebeauty · 31/08/2015 10:53

God there are some holier than thou women on here.

SoupDragon · 31/08/2015 10:58

Where?

honeyroar · 31/08/2015 11:00

By tomorrow he may not need Immodium as he may be "empty" if not eating much. I would keep letting him sip water (when I last had a really bad stomach bug the doctor said add salt and sugar to the water) or dioralite if there is a child's version. I wouldn't worry about Immodium and the 12yr age limit. It really depends more on size, if he is a big strapping 11 yr old he would be fine, a smaller lightweight 12 yr old may not..

I would wrap him up in the back with a duvet and hot water bottle. Stop regularly if need be (there are regular services, he won't need to sit in his own crap (as people have said) for hours. It's not ideal, but he will be ok. I'm cabin crew and regularly see people travelling with poorly children, and they manage fine. No it's not ideal, but it's not life threatening either!

Original poster
SamP85 · 31/08/2015 11:02

I discussed with him the possibility of wearing pajama pants and he has agreed to wearing them. They go up to age 15 so that made him feel a bit better about wearing them. I have plastered his bum in nappy cream in case he has an accident and has to sit in it for a while. We won't tell ds2 about them to save him the embarrassment.

He seems a bit better as he has rested but still has diarrhoea. No vomiting yet but I have a bowl in case of that. Tones of wipes to hand, several changes of clothes, spare pajama pants, plastic bags and air freshener. Hopefully traffic won't be toon bad and this will all be a bad memory soon.

OP posts:
Libitina · 31/08/2015 11:05

Your poor children, knowing that their parents will not put their needs and welfare first.
You would not ask an adult to do this journey in these circumstances, it's disgusting that you plan on making your DS do it. SMH.

JustOneMinuteAtATime · 31/08/2015 11:06

I had to sit my GCSEs with gastroenteritis... it was mortifying and so painful.

It's good that he'll wear pyjama pants. Make sure he's got something to drink (flat coke is good, or water) but warn him to sip it, not glug loads at once. A bucket is a good idea because you're probably going to encounter vomiting. Air freshener is a good bet, plain biscuits might be good too.

Then just plan to stop every 45 minutes or so. The traffic is going to be utter hell anyway, just look at the weather. The traffic reports are already bad.

Hopefully he won't have too much of a rubbish drive, and if he has a nanny, presumably he can stay in bed and recover tomorrow?

Bluebiscuits · 31/08/2015 11:09

Good luck OP. I bet your son will be pleased to be home. Hope the journey goes quickly!

Mintyy · 31/08/2015 11:10

What if he had appendicitis (for example) and had to stay in hospital in Edinburgh? I imagine you would work out a way for one of you to stay with him in those circumstances. I agree with the posters who say you are being inconsiderate at best.

Both dh and I are self employed and have work commitments that aren't easy to rearrange and of course we don't get paid when we don't work, but there is no way I'd be doing that car journey with my 11 year old son if he was that unwell.