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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be dreading this journey tomorrow

178 replies

SamP85 · 31/08/2015 00:12

We (myself dh ds1 and ds2) drove up to Edinburgh on Friday for the bank holiday weekend and are driving back tomorrow. The problem is that ds1 has come down with very bad diarrhoea (it seems to be the start of a tummy bug)! We can't stay another night so have to face this 6+ hour car trip tomorrow. I am really at a loss on what to do to avoid him having an accident?? I will get him some imodium (if I can find it in his age range) in the morning but other than that I don't know.

OP posts:
DonnaLyman · 31/08/2015 07:45

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ElementaryMyDear · 31/08/2015 08:51

SoupDragon, they may both be self-employed barristers. But, if so, is it totally impossible for one of you to pass on their brief to someone else?

mandala1fromTES · 31/08/2015 08:55

You need to look after the poor kid, not subject him to hours in a car - that is an awful thing to do. Your work is not the be all and end all - anyway sitting in a car with him for hours almost guarantees you will get the same bug and end up taking time off. You might as well stay in/near Edinburgh for another day until your son has recovered and try to avoid having more time off.

BlueBananas · 31/08/2015 08:59

Poor kid! Have a day off work! The world won't bloody end, honestly what is more important - a client or the health of your DS?!

mandala1fromTES · 31/08/2015 09:02

I was in a not dissimilar situation with my husband some years ago (it was in Edinburgh too....). I wouldn't have driven with him sitting on Pampers pads, expecting to stop every few miles, and neither would I have that expectation of an 11 year old.

googoodolly · 31/08/2015 09:04

I really don't think you should travel when you have an 11 year old with sickness and diarrhoea. It's unfair on him and everyone else in the car. Can't the parent who needs to be home for work go home, and the other stay with the sick child?

If it's a bug and not just something he ate, likelihood is it will spread to everyone anyway, and you'll have no choice but to get a hotel room for a couple of days.

Original poster
SamP85 · 31/08/2015 09:04

We are going to leave later than planned to give DS some time to sleep. I should have been clearer earlier in saying that we are both self employed and have commitment's on Tuesday. Belive me if we could avoid this journey we would!

While the train does have easier access to a toilet there is still a strong chance of an accident (it could be occupied, he may not make it in time ext) which in public would be devastating. At least in the car he can wear a nappy/pj pants and if he does have an accident he is amongst family.

OP posts:
mandala1fromTES · 31/08/2015 09:05

Poor child.

googoodolly · 31/08/2015 09:07

I feel so sorry for your DS - expecting him to essentially poo on himself in a car with possibly no breaks for hours just so you can get home. How humiliating and unhygienic. And yes, on bank holiday weekend it possibly will be hours - traffic and queues will be everywhere.

googoodolly · 31/08/2015 09:07

And you cannot stop at a service station while he has a bug! You'll spread it around to everyone.

BlueBananas · 31/08/2015 09:07

I'm sorry but whatever "commitments" you both have can absolutely be rearranged
You obviously just don't want to
So you're going to make your son sit in a car in a nappy full of his own shit for 2 hours, feeling awful, smelling awful, dying of embarrassment and probably getting a sore bum aswell
Excellent!

ReallyConfusedDotCom · 31/08/2015 09:11

I feel for all of you, unfortunately sometimes you have to work whether you're self employed or not. Hopefully he will be ok and just sleep in the car. I hope it goes well.

mandala1fromTES · 31/08/2015 09:12

unfortunately sometimes you have to work whether you're self employed or not

No, you don't.

Ifiwasabadger · 31/08/2015 09:13

good luck OP, i feel for your DS. i had to catch a flight once feeling like this, it was grim.

mandala1fromTES · 31/08/2015 09:14

Hiding this thread now. Absolutely shocked at the prioritising of work over child's wellbeing, comfort and dignity.

Original poster
SamP85 · 31/08/2015 09:16

ElementaryMyDear it kind of is. Dh is in the middle of a trial with no senior or junior, if someone were to fill in at this notice they would either be rubbish or try to steal the whole case from him. I don't have court but have drafting that needs to be done.

OP posts:
googoodolly · 31/08/2015 09:16

It's a choice that they're going to work. Nobody will die if OP takes a day off, I'm sure. If my DC was ill, no way would I subject them to a seven hour drive in the car! That's really unfair on the child and everyone else who's going to have to sit shut in a car smelling of diarrhoea all day!

It's different to being at home where you have access to water, a shower/bath, a flushing toilet etc. Travelling with a sickness bug is just unnecessary.

PantryofWhoGivesAFuck · 31/08/2015 09:17

Who is looking after him on Tuesday? Hmm

Original poster
SamP85 · 31/08/2015 09:22

PantryofWhoGivesAFuck their nanny who looks after both our DS so we can work.

OP posts:
PantryofWhoGivesAFuck · 31/08/2015 09:25

A child will be feeling miserable exhausted and vulnerable and just needs bed and quiet care and sleep. And his parents.

But no, the nanny can deal with it?

Poor lad. Sad

I'm out too.

ReallyConfusedDotCom · 31/08/2015 09:25

mandala I won't bother answering you if you hiding the thread as you are so shocked!

CotedePablo · 31/08/2015 09:26

Can't your 'drafting' be done in a hotel room?
I think you're being terribly unfair on your little boy. Let your husband go off home to his trial thing, and you stay behind for a day or so till your son feels better. You can hire a car to get home.

TheUnwillingNarcheska · 31/08/2015 09:27

I have a 12 year old and I would leave it as late as possible before driving. Get the immodium, pajama pants and pampers mats to put under him in the car.

Also baby wipes, nappy sacks (which also double up as a sick bag)

Depending on the supermarket you go to, I would buy cheap towels that I could bin if needed. You can wrap him in one to take him inside a service station if it is bad.

And yes, in an ideal world you wouldn't have to do this, but this isn't an ideal world and if you need to travel back you need to travel back.

TheFairyCaravan · 31/08/2015 09:30

I'd send DH on the train and go back tomorrow. No job would ever come in front of my kids.

Poor boy. I'd hate having to sit in a car for 6+ hours, feeling ill and shitting myself just so my parents could go to work in the morning. Sad

PenelopePitstops · 31/08/2015 09:31

Bloody hell some of you are total martyrs to your kids. OP you are doing the best you can. I remember being a similar age and had a stomach bug but affecting the other end. Mum strapped me in the front with a bag and off we went. I was fine, threw up a bit on the way and I'm not scarred for life.