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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think DD's so called friends are complete witches?

76 replies

Meandyouandyouandme · 30/08/2015 18:01

DD1 is at a big festival today, she was going on her own, paid £100 for a ticket, but was meeting up with people she vaguely knows when she got there. She was fine with that, none of her friends nearby, either, wanted to go, or could afford it.

Earlier this week on Twitter, one of the DJs playing at the festival tweeted that he would give some free tickets out. She tweeted him, and he said he would put one of her friends on the guest list. So she got a free ticket for one friend, then another friend tweeted this DJ, and he tweeted my DD back, and she said yes that's my friend too, can she have a ticket, so she's got two free tickets for these two friends.

Well it turns out they've dumped her on her own and gone off together. I'm so cross for her, I mean who does that. Obviously she's not considering them her friends any more, just feel really sorry for her.

Fortunately she's with one of the other people she was meeting. She was only out with these girls last week, one of them had a birthday, but tellingly the only people out were the three of them plus the birthday girl's sister. So she obviously doesn't have many friends.

Anybody have any words of wisdom on how to deal with such shitty friends? I am assuming IANBU, Angry

OP posts:
scarlets · 30/08/2015 20:32

I assumed from the first post that she was about 14, and was nervous about being left alone at a festival. As a parent I would have been anxious and annoyed under these circumstances too.

She's 22 though. What happened wasn't very nice and those women are fairweather friends but let her deal with it. No need to be involved.

Gatehouse77 · 30/08/2015 20:54

I think it's great that your relationship with your daughter means that she would tell you about this. I would be there with tea and sympathy.

I would not have told my mother because we did not have a close relationship . She probably would have thought me 'silly', tried to solve it and not considered any emotional aspect.

Branleuse · 30/08/2015 20:59

who the fuck would let their 14 year old go to a festival with mates?
Of course she was going to be older than that.

AuntyMag10 · 30/08/2015 21:01

Bran you must have missed many past threads where posters want to know if it's fine to let their 14/15 yr olds go to festivals with their friends?

winniethewhoo · 30/08/2015 21:13

I am 22. I can assure you of my mental stability AND the fact that I would always text my mum what shitty things happened. She may not be able to fix it, much like in this situation, but it's about being there for someone. OP I don't think you're over invested I think it's fab your daughter can talk to you. But, as you probably already know, there's nothing you can do except be there for your daughter as she learns who her real mates are... I recommend you provide gin for her return Smile

Original poster
Meandyouandyouandme · 30/08/2015 21:24

Thanks Winnie, still not heard any more from her, so I conclude that she's having a great time with whoever she is with. If she hadn't mistakenly text me, I am sure I wouldn't know anything about this, so wouldn't have posted this thread. It has made interesting reading Wink

OP posts:
Original poster
Meandyouandyouandme · 30/08/2015 21:25

Not sure if she's back tonight, but could get the gin out anyway Grin

OP posts:
Fluffyears · 30/08/2015 21:29

I'm 36 and called my mum to offload the bullying I'm experiencing at work etc she was sympathetic wanted to kill my boss and was comically plotting his demise which made me laugh and cheered me up. My mum is a good friend as well as a mum and I know she will never ever let me down. I don't trust people easily after a few incidents with girls like this when I was younger so my brilliant mum is great to talk to.

Mintyy · 30/08/2015 21:34

I would let my dd go to a festival at 14. Not a miles away camping one, but a big daytime concert in a field nearby? Of course I would!

winniethewhoo · 30/08/2015 21:42

fluffy your relationship with your mum sounds much like mine. And meandyou it'd be rude not to at least prepare for her return by drinking gin Grin

laffymeal · 30/08/2015 22:03

Yeah sure you would mintyHmm

scatterthenuns · 30/08/2015 22:06

I'd let a 14 year old go to a festival in the daytime too.

Don't know what the skepticism is about at all. Confused

Mintyy · 30/08/2015 22:07

Humphy face why laffy?

I have a 14 year old girl. Are you telling ME what I would and wouldn't allow her to do?

laffymeal · 30/08/2015 22:09

That's not what the thread is about. Poor op, I bet she's wishing she hadn't bothered posting. This board is really good sometimes and others it's unsupportive and horrible.

laffymeal · 30/08/2015 22:12

No idea Minty but according to you your DD better not text you for help over the age of 14 unless in dire straits and you said you were leaving the thread but clearly couldn't resist labouring your point.

Mintyy · 30/08/2015 22:13

Ok then laffy, and your post to me

"Sure you would Mintyy Hmm" wasn't horrible?

Op has had plenty of support and positive replies. She can ignore anything she doesn't want to hear from nasty old witches like me.

laffymeal · 30/08/2015 22:14

Sounds fair enough Grin

Original poster
Meandyouandyouandme · 30/08/2015 22:20

Thanks Laffy, I feel the thread has taken some strange turns. The reason why I posted my DDs age, was because I wouldn't have expected this sort of behaviour from women in their twenties. Confused

14 year olds are a whole other ball game, I have one of those as well Grin

OP posts:
laffymeal · 30/08/2015 22:22

You're welcome op, sounds like you and your girl have a lovely relationship, I hope it all turns out well for you both Smile

thornrose · 30/08/2015 22:22

I win the thread, I'm 48 and texted my mum about a new friend not texting me back. Grin

laffymeal · 30/08/2015 22:24

Lol thornrose Grin

BarbarianMum · 30/08/2015 22:30

What sort of behaviour wouldn't you expect? For all you know, they got separated for a bit and are now back together. Maybe there are dead spots where phones don't receive messages? Maybe they were, you know, listening to a band and not looking at their phones for a bit. Seems very strange to me to call them bitches on the basis of very little information.

thornrose · 30/08/2015 22:30

She said "there, there, I'm sure she's just busy dear" or words to that effect,Grin and she was right of course!

You're never too old to talk to your mum, they're not here for ever. I know how cringe that sounds but I don't care. [tongue out smiley]

laffymeal · 30/08/2015 22:34

Op hasn't called anyone a bitch.

BarbarianMum · 30/08/2015 22:45

Sorry that should have been witch not bitch Blush But honestly, thinking the worst of these women seems a little premature.