is it normal to look forward to your children going to bed?

[GlitteringJasper]

It's a long day with my two, either me or do is up from 5.45 and come 7pm, I really can't wait for them to be in bed.

I worry that I don't have the patience other people seem to with their children.

I have a 2 year old and an 8 month old, I love them to bits but they are exhausting.

I can't talk about how I really feel in real life as I had a silent 12 week miscarriage 4 weeks ago and people will wonder why on earth I'm trying for a third since I'm such a bad mum. I just see me as a mum of 3. I can't wait for the days when we can all get into the car without needing nappies and huge bag of tricks, nappies, water, wipes, snacks, books, toys, iPad. I just want to enjoy my children and go to the cinema, out for lunch, to the farm, anything, days out without someone throwing a tantrum.

I do most of the childcare when I'm not a work as my dh works weekends. We went TV shopping today and my ds went berserk as it was too bright in the TV shop

I cook nutritious food for ds (eldest) but it's a total lottery as to,whether he will eat it,

I'm a rambling idiot, sorry.

My ds did someone so naughty today in the middle of a shop and everyone was staring. I Wonder what I'm doing wrong, why he isn't behaving like other people's children seem to.

I live with the mantra "don't parent the way you were parented" but I'm not sure where I'm going wrong.

Is it normal to be so overwhelmed at times?

I just can't wait for my two to go to bed, surely a good mum wouldn't think this?

Mine are 16 and 13 and I'm still glad to get them off to bed of an evening
Though tbf they do sometimes watch TV or do some gaming with DH whilst I'm on here MNing
That's nearly as good

Am sorry for your loss

If I'm honest op I put mine to bed at 6 for years until the oldest was 6 and the youngest 5. I just needed the space and to tidy up and sit down in a clean tidy room. I hated the slog of it all.

Now I'm so much more meh about bedtimes, my flat is usually always tidy and they don't drain me anymore. In the holidays (I work term time) they've gone to bed anytime between 9 and midnight and they're 8 and almost 10 now. It's lovely and so not a slog anymore.

brand how did you get your six year old to go to bed at 6? I'm

My nearly five year old doesn't go to sleep till 10 most nights. I'm bed her at 7 but she resists sleep

Totally normal.

Even if we've had a great day and DDs have been angels I still look forward to bedtime

It sounds like you're doing a great job OP, having a baby and a toddler is tough

Awwww, bless you.
I haven't read all replies but here's my 2 cents.

DC (3&1) got me up at 6.30, by 9 I was wishing for bedtime!! Some days are harder then others. It's normal. Most days by 6/7pm I'm clock watching as once they are in bed I get my chill out time.

Sorry to hear about your miscarriage. That must be tough aswell

Oh bless you...it's really quite normal to feel like that and even moreso after you recent loss .

Is there anyone that could give you a bit of the space you feel you need to grieve at the moment? Would a sleepover be possible with family so you and DH could have a night in together maybe?

FWIW my DD is 11 and it's only in the last 18 months that I've not been counting the minutes from about 4.45pm until bedtime and now it's the end of the holidays and she's had endless late nights I'm doing it again

Well its nice and quiet in the Cigar household, the kids are in bed, my feet are up and I am enjoying a nice glass of vino.
Do I love my children?
Oh yes.
I love them even more when they sleep.
It's normal. They are great, but they wear me out in the day time. They're 4 and 17 months and its the incessant nature of it that does me in. I feel bad tthat I'm relieved they're asleep, but I'm human and I need the break!
Take it easy on yourself, op.

Totally normal. Sorry to hear about your miscarriage. Perhaps you could do with a break for a bit before ttc. Sounds like you're putting a lot of pressure on yourself while at the same time feeling like you're not coping. Be kind to yourself, you're a great mum

Normal. My preschooler still on the go. I am counting down the minutes.....

hibble she was just used to it, I think at that point it was bed at 6 with a book and lights out at half 6. When she was born I was staying with my nan and she put her on a sleep and feed routine and had always gone to bed at 6 literally since she was born.

Totally normal and doesn't make you a bad parent.

As for the tantrum in public, most of those looking over who are parents will be thinking thank God it's not just mine that does this!

brand as a baby she was on a routine and always put to bed at 6. That changed as soon as she worked out how to leapfrog out of her cot and start causing havoc

I wish she would go to bed at 6 still or 7, or 8, or 9

Absolutely normal to be counting the minutes till bedtime. Though if you have regularly started counting down the minutes till bedtime by 2pm something needs to change.

It's so normal.

I am on holiday with a teenager and a tween and was talking to my dp last night how (oddly) we missed that OMG they are finally in bed feeling. They are going to bed when we are, no bother to us but it feels odd not to have that thank feck they are down for the night feeling. We also reminisced about how much more we used to do on holiday, currently it's hard to get them roused and moving much before 11am and they dont want to do too much anyway..

It wasn't serious reminiscing and we fully acknowledged the massively rose tinted specs. Still, would we want to rewind and go back? No way. Ever. Early mornings, no stopping, always having to plan and think about tiny details, never completely sure if the evening was over? Goodbye.

We are currently in a mobile home and we had new German neighbours move in. They came round to introduce themselves and apologise upfront about their 3 noisy kids ? between our German, English and French we joked that we liked not being the noisy family for a change. They think that they are noisy but its no problem, it is so normal to hear normal family telling off and trying to get them to be quiet.

If your child kicks of in a restaurant or store and someone looks there is a good chance they are surprised and reacting to a noise, or they are wondering if they can help, at the same time thinking thank fuck its no longer me.

Totally normal! Mine are much older than yours and I still look forward to the moment they go to bed and calm descends finally on the house.

Very sorry about your miscarriage, that's very hard. You are not a bad mum or wrong to want a third. Hope you can get some support in RL, which it sounds like you could do with.

We went TV shopping today and my ds went berserk as it was too bright in the TV shop

This sounds like sensory overload rather than naughtiness. I have Asperger's and can struggle with this kind of overstimulation. Not saying that your DS has Asperger's but an excess of light/sound/colour can be difficult for little ones, depending on other factors (tiredness, general wellness, blood sugar levels, etc). Not a reflection on your parenting at all, and as a pp said, probably everyone else was just glad it wasn't their problem!

Chin up, OP.

I have a dd8 with ASD, and ds 3.7 who us a real livewire and winds did up something chronic. These, holidays have been long, too long. I look forward to putting ds to be even at 11am, counting off the hours. He is bored and when bored gets into mischief. I am just a hollow husk by the end of the day

hibble are you a good sleeper? I sleep like the dead and probably never heard my dc when they woke up maybe it's genetic?

I expect you'll get loads of lovely lie ins when she's a teen and I'll have my pay back for good sleepers by not coming in on time and early mornings asking for lifts in to town .