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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to be a bit miffed that my mum has no keepsakes or photographs of me as a baby?

77 replies

introvertMNer · 30/08/2015 03:38

For some reason my mum didn't keep anything from when I was a baby or from when she was pregnant. There are no scan pictures, appointment letters, photos of me as a newborn, baby clothes, shoes.. nothing really. There are lots of photos of me as a toddler onwards but nothing from before that. I have spoken to her about it before and she just says that she didn't keep anything. Can I ask older MNers what mementos you have kept of your grown up DCs from when they were babies?

OP posts:
Oldraver · 30/08/2015 13:37

My Mum has nothing at all, no photos. She did split up with my Father and ended up leaving the family home via a psychatric hospital so I can sort of understand a little but what really bothered me was that she 'cant' remember' what time I was born.

With my DS's one who is nearly 30 I have saved allsorts, however DS1 isn't in the least sentimental and isnt really interested in keepsakes

I think DS2 will be the opposite

pinkmanbitch · 30/08/2015 13:54

maybe you're adopted!

elementofsurprise · 30/08/2015 14:12

Raahh I have also kept the little plastic clip things they clamp the umbilical cord with- all 3, each with a wee bit of dried up cord attached
Why???? I knew a family that did this, am astounded they are not the only weirdos ones to do that! Sorry, but... bleughhhhh. Grin

Also surprised at lack of baby photos... Myself and siblings, born throughout the 80's all have an album each... Parents born in 1950's - one has an album covering birth to 4/5yrs - middle class family, and one has a handful of photos before 4/5yrs ish and a lot more after - I know they were very hard up. But the photos have been treasured and carefully looked after precisely because they were so expensive/few and far between.

I wonder about the amount of photos taken now... are they actually less 'permanent', less catalogued, because there are so many we don't think to actually print/label a few for future generations to look back on? And in the future the technology they are stored on will be obsolete...

gamerchick · 30/08/2015 14:16

Well you couldn't buy scan photos until 94/95 so if you're older than 20 you know why.

There's only photos of me from 3 months, I would love to know what I looked like as a newborn. I don't think anything else was kept aside from my hospital bangle which I have now.

tigerscameatnight · 30/08/2015 14:46

I only have photos of dd, I bought a teddy when she was born but it went missing. I was very poorly for the first three years of her life :( I do have lots of photos though

Original poster
introvertMNer · 30/08/2015 15:20

I do have a birth certificate. It has my mum's name on it.

OP posts:
Original poster
introvertMNer · 30/08/2015 15:20

Also I was born in 1990

OP posts:
goblinhat · 30/08/2015 15:22

Also I was born in 1990

I feel old now. I was divorced in 1985.

Pipbin · 30/08/2015 15:24

Now in my mind 1990 was only 5 years ago so there is time yet OP.

goblinhat · 30/08/2015 15:29

pipbin- you made me smile. My lovely 18 yo son tells me that I am stuck in 1993.
Which I am.

Patapouf · 30/08/2015 17:35

We are around the same age OP and my parents have loads of photos of me, clothes and toys were passed down to siblings as I got older.
Don't think my DM has any keepsakes, although I suspect she still has my gross milk teeth. I've never seen a scan either

They were really quite poor and they still managed to get photos printed, so I do think it is a little bit weird that your DM has nothing. I agree with PPs that had you been older it would be fairly normal!

Mrsjayy · 30/08/2015 17:55

I was pregnant in 92 our hospital did scan pics but they were kind of new so 1990 they probably didnt do them and nobody keeps appointment letters really.

MrsBearWasTired · 30/08/2015 17:55

I asked my dm why she hasn't kept anything from me or my sisters- no clothes, pictures that we did, school books, crafts that we did, mothers day cards. Nothing. She said why would she want to keep them? She doesn't do sentimentality.

I would love to be able to look back over things I had done/ made/written when I was small. Maybe not before I had my children, but definitely now.

I try not to hoard my dc's things but I do have a growing collection of things. If they choose to chuck them when they are adults, that's their choice but at least they will be able to make it.

Mrsjayy · 30/08/2015 17:57

Have you asked your mum about no baby photos

Mrsjayy · 30/08/2015 18:01

I just had a thought i was born with a medical condition i was very ill for the first year or so in and out of hospital thats probably why no photos except the christening one .

Florriesma · 30/08/2015 18:02

My youngest is 6. I have photos. I'm not sure the other stuff will survive til he's 40. I have a few pictures from when I was a child. I believe df has my baby teeth. Why I don't know and when the time comes I will not be staring at them sentimentally!

Photos I can understand keeping but I really don't understand why you would want to look on your own baby outfits?

sodabreadjam · 30/08/2015 18:11

I am 60 - my DSs were born in the early 1980s. I have baby photos from birth for both of them - quite a few. I did start baby books for each of them, recording milestones, etc. I managed quite a bit for DS1 but was too busy to keep DS2's book going.

I have their first proper shoes and I intended to have them bronzed but never got round to it. I didn't keep any clothes - I think the photos are enough.

sodabreadjam · 30/08/2015 18:18

We had an activity at work where we all had to bring in baby photos. My friend (in her 50s) had none as her mum hadn't kept any - but her mum had managed to keep copious albums of my friend's four brothers. This pretty much summed up her mum's attitude towards her. I felt really sorry for her.

OP - photos in the early 1990s still had to be sent away to be developed or taken to Boots etc. Was your Mum either too poor or too busy at that point to get photos developed or did she have some and then somehow lose them?

JassyRadlett · 30/08/2015 18:34

Most of the pics of me as a baby were taken by my grandparents. Going by the photo record, you'd have thought I lived at their house. My parents were young and skint, didn't have a camera, processing photos was expensive, and most of my clothes etc were either borrowed, or passed on to friends' kids afterwards.

They were much better off by the time my brothers came along - but they didn't love me any less simly because there are more pics of my siblings as babies.

Some people are the kind who like physical mementoes. For others, they're not needed, and their memories aren't diminished by not having first shoes, or locks of hair, or whatever.

My mum had one of the first scans, in 1985 (in another country) with my youngest brother. She only had one because my next youngest brother had died the previous year as the result of severe birth abnormalities.

usual · 30/08/2015 18:40

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

DixieNormas · 30/08/2015 18:48

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

noeffingidea · 30/08/2015 18:55

I'm 55. I have a few photos of myself as a baby. I would have liked something else as well such as clothes or a blanket but my mum didn't see the importance of things like that.
The only other thing I had was a silver teaspoon (my only christening present) but I didn't really value that, as I would have preferred not to have been baptised.
My eldest child was born in '88, I still have lots of photos, a few clothes, his 1st shoes and, by chance, my appointment card with my notes on.
I have similar things for my younger 2 as well.
I don't think you're being unreasonable, OP. I think I would have been a little hurt if my mum hadn't kept any photo or momento of myself as a baby.

Raahh · 30/08/2015 18:57

element- I have no idea why I kept them. It is kind of gross. Grin

Hygellig · 30/08/2015 19:35

Yanbu to be upset - I am not particularly fussed about keepsakes, but would be upset and surprised if there were no pictures of me as a baby. My parents took a reasonable number of pictures of me as a baby, despite my birth having occurred back in the dark ages (late 1970s) - though nowhere near the numbers that parents would have today.

My younger sister was born at home and there is an album of rather graphic photos taken by my dad!

In terms of other keepsakes I'm not quite sure what my mum has. I think she has my weighing book and a couple of items of clothing that were knitted by my paternal grandmother. She also still has some random things like the sew-in name labels for school uniform.

My children are four and two and I still need to print out many photos. I have two half-hearted attempts at baby books. I have their red books and the scan photos, and a couple of tiny babygrows.

Puffinsharon · 30/08/2015 19:41

My Mum's kept all sorts of interesting stuff, from run-of-the-mill first teething ring with teeth marks to, ironically enough, tetanus jab paperwork following a pet dog's bite. As if the hideous scar wasn't enough ;-)

It's all stashed in their loft for now, but I like to look through it when I visit for a little nostalgic shimmy through my 70's dungeree clad childhood.